my 18 year old daughter has moved in ...

my 18 year old daughter has moved in with her boyfriend

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mom going crazy

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#1 Jun 3, 2007
She turned 18 on april 26th of this year about a week ago she had me drop her off at a friends house to stay the night. the next morning I went to pick her up, as she had asked me to do, to find out she didn't even stay there at all. This was on a saturday night, on friday night the day before she wanted to go out with a couple of friends one which had move to texas and was back visiting(which was a boy) she asked me if her boyfriend called to tell him she wasn't feeling well and she had gone to bed, I didn't want to get in the middle of it, but I was hoping she had started to come to her senses about this boyfriend. So someone seen her out and called her boyfriend therefore he was calling my house non stop, came to my home at 2am yelling profanity to me calling my daughter bad names etc., she came home told him it was over that was the las I knew. Now back to picking her up I was frantic I called the boyfriend and he told me not to call him, he had not seen her in 2 days, I spoke with one of her friends who had talked to her and told me she was at his house. I went to his house, in which his whole family lied to me saying she wasn't there. She has moved in with him, his dad its a duplex his dad lives in one his gradmother in the other, his mom is in prison, she has lied to me constantly says shes coming home only so he could get her clothes, which broke my heart again I felt so used. She is so cold to us heartless, her friends have been calling me telling me to get her out of there because he is so controlling, she has no friends he has aligenated her away from everyone. I am truely scared for her future and I cannot quit crying my heart hurts so much, but she's 18 a adult she says, but I can't understand what her family has done for her to act and treat us so bad. I need to make her understand I love her and to get her home. Please if anyone has any suggestions please I need help or a soultion to this quickly I'm deseperate Thanks Mom going crazy!
Me too

West Chicago, IL

#2 Jun 4, 2007
Wow! It seems like the exact same thing that happened with my daughter! She turned 18 in October and 5 days before her birthday she ran away ( to her boyfriends). The police brought her back but said that once she turns 18 if she ran away again that was nothing they could do. What does that magic number of 18 mean? All it is a number. So when she turned 18 I was supposed to have less love her? Less control over the fact that she is still my child and if anything happens to her my heart is not supposed to hurt as much it would if she was 17?
My daughter moved in with her boyfrind and his dad ( no mom either) at one minute after midnight on her 18th birthday. Her father and I were heartbroken. That was on October, and she is now back home. The past year has been hell but we are back on the right track fanally I think. Just hang in there and every chance you can make sure she knows how much you love her. That's all us moms can do! It's hard.

Since: May 07

Bolingbrook, IL

#3 Jun 4, 2007
I don't know what I would do in your situations. My daughter is only 10 but the teen years are upon me soon. I just pray that she continues to have a good relationship with my husband and myself as she gets older and that she knows her home is always open to her. I don't want secrets but I know it's hard once they become independent. I didn't leave home til I was 25 and that was to get married to my husband. I was in no rush to move out, I had everything I needed at home. I hope that your daughter feels that she can come home to you. Has she been influenced by the wrong people(friends and boyfriends)? It sounds like it. I never understand why girls are attracted to abusive guys. It drives me nuts. You have enough to worry about as it is. She is 18, and unfortunately, she can move out. I think all you can do is let her know you love her. I know it's hard but you can't force her to come home. I know you just want her to make the right choices. Plus 18 is so young. They don't think it is, but we know it is. Best of luck and don't give up.
Rebecca Lynn

West Chicago, IL

#4 Jun 6, 2007
Don't give up on her! Tell you love her every chance you get. Eventually the "Fun" of being on her own will wear off and she will want to come home. It took 6 months but mine did.
s-o-n-i-a

Ipswich, UK

#5 Jun 23, 2007
do not worry oneday she will come back to you and please don't give up on her and now she is 18 and she is un adult so she thinks that she can do what ever she wants. I am only 17 and I hope that will never happn to me I hope she comes back to u.
Rebecca Lynn

West Chicago, IL

#6 Jun 25, 2007
My daughter came home after 6 months, but just moved back with him.( AHHHH!!) She had spending alot of time over there but she just let it slip that she has been paying him rent. I'm so ticked! Saturday she called me crying that he locked her out and was laughing at her so I had to go pick her up. God I hate that kid so much. I just wish she would dump his sorry butt for good. She was sobbing and said " Mom I hate it that I love him so much." and I told her that she doesn't hate it as much as I do.
The thing is if I even agree with her that he is an ass she starts defending him.
I know how you feel

Grove City, OH

#7 Jul 17, 2007
mom going crazy wrote:
She turned 18 on april 26th of this year about a week ago she had me drop her off at a friends house to stay the night. the next morning I went to pick her up, as she had asked me to do, to find out she didn't even stay there at all. This was on a saturday night, on friday night the day before she wanted to go out with a couple of friends one which had move to texas and was back visiting(which was a boy) she asked me if her boyfriend called to tell him she wasn't feeling well and she had gone to bed, I didn't want to get in the middle of it, but I was hoping she had started to come to her senses about this boyfriend. So someone seen her out and called her boyfriend therefore he was calling my house non stop, came to my home at 2am yelling profanity to me calling my daughter bad names etc., she came home told him it was over that was the las I knew. Now back to picking her up I was frantic I called the boyfriend and he told me not to call him, he had not seen her in 2 days, I spoke with one of her friends who had talked to her and told me she was at his house. I went to his house, in which his whole family lied to me saying she wasn't there. She has moved in with him, his dad its a duplex his dad lives in one his gradmother in the other, his mom is in prison, she has lied to me constantly says shes coming home only so he could get her clothes, which broke my heart again I felt so used. She is so cold to us heartless, her friends have been calling me telling me to get her out of there because he is so controlling, she has no friends he has aligenated her away from everyone. I am truely scared for her future and I cannot quit crying my heart hurts so much, but she's 18 a adult she says, but I can't understand what her family has done for her to act and treat us so bad. I need to make her understand I love her and to get her home. Please if anyone has any suggestions please I need help or a soultion to this quickly I'm deseperate Thanks Mom going crazy!
My daughter graduated in 2005 with a fantastic future awaiting her. She was accepted at a very good college and got a position working with a high profile football coach on that team. One of her dreams come true. She started to hang around with our neighbors son who is 4 years older then her. Next thing you know she is friends with a boy 8 years older. He is such a mess. One day I came home from work in August and she had packed up everything and moved in with this man. It will be two years in August. My family and most of her friends never hear from her. We have tried to contact her through this man and had a restraining order placed on me. I have cried so much that I though I would die. I also have had a rebout with cancer this past year. Finally through prayers and family I am once again living life. I trust in God that he will help me each day to survive this horror. I can not begin to tell you how close my daughter and I have been throughout her life. I never saw this coming. Her father and her were also close. She loved to play tennis and the two of them were always on the courts together. I don't get this at all even after two years.

All you can do is pray and know that God is in charge and he hears our prayers.

God bless and I will keep you in my prayers.

Janet
Rebecca Lynn

West Chicago, IL

#8 Jul 17, 2007
Janet-
My prayers are with you! I am so sorry for your troubles. Hang in there.
I let my daughter come over to do alundry today because she has no money and no clean clothes. I also had to give some money for "necessities" because her boyfriend said "they didn't budget for that." I told her to tell him that he needs to take less money out of the budget for his beer and cigarettes and put it in for female necessities. What an ass.

Since: Jun 07

JOLIET

#9 Jul 17, 2007
i moved out with my boyfriend . My parents cut me off, with the expection of the car they let me drive & I pay the insurance on.

they do not approve of our living together but they are proud that i am being independant and making it on my own.

maybe moving out will smarten her up. its HARD and EXPENSIVE... when she realizes she doesnt have any money bc it all goes to bills. I cant believe how much money I pay on bills!!! The things I took for granted before: cable, internet, air conditioning, food, but more importantly HOME COOKED FOOD! & I miss my parents too. I just turned 21 and although I have matured a lot, it is still hard when I go to the mall and i see something i want to buy... and i realize i cant because i need money for my bills. I am sure it is very hard for your daughter, its hard for any woman!!
Cari

Glen Ellyn, IL

#10 Jul 17, 2007
LEAST SHE JUST MOVED IN TO HIS HOUSE. MY NEICE GOT MARRIED ON HER 18TH BIRTHDAY TO A GUY THAT CHEATED ON HER 2 OR MORE TIMES. AND NOW SHE IS ABOUT 4 MONTH WITH HER FIRST BABY. I DONT LIKE IT AT ALL BUT WHAT CAN I DO I AM NOT THE MOTHER OF HER. I ALSO NOW TO MORE GIRLS WITH THE SAME STORY I JUST WROTE.
Rebecca Lynn

West Chicago, IL

#11 Jul 17, 2007
We gave our daughter her car, but I quit paying her insurance and her cell phone. She is still covered under my health insurance but only for 2 more months. I keep telling her to go the dentist in case she needs work done and eye doctor to get contacts before the insurance is up but her social life is more important. She will see soon how hard it really is! She will have to pay for her own birth control ( hello health department! That will be a rude awakening because she was always too picky and won't go to a male doctor.) and her own contacts and everything.
Elizabeth

New York, NY

#12 Jul 17, 2007
Hi everyone.

I am a producer on a new show for NBC and we are looking for young girls in these situations. Our host is a former marine and looking to give out some tough love. Looking to get your daughters back and put your family back together. Please give me a call at 877-836-3402 as soon as possible! Your whole family could get a free trip to Chicago!
Elizabeth

New York, NY

#13 Jul 17, 2007
or...email me at [email protected]

We are here to help you. We are here to meet your needs and be there for you.
Rebecca Lynn

West Chicago, IL

#14 Jul 17, 2007
Cari wrote:
LEAST SHE JUST MOVED IN TO HIS HOUSE. MY NEICE GOT MARRIED ON HER 18TH BIRTHDAY TO A GUY THAT CHEATED ON HER 2 OR MORE TIMES. AND NOW SHE IS ABOUT 4 MONTH WITH HER FIRST BABY. I DONT LIKE IT AT ALL BUT WHAT CAN I DO I AM NOT THE MOTHER OF HER. I ALSO NOW TO MORE GIRLS WITH THE SAME STORY I JUST WROTE.
That is my biggest fear that my daughter won't get out before she gets pregnant. I know she is too lazy and cheap to get her butt over to the health department and get things taken care of when our insurance runs out on her. If that loser gets her pregnant her life will be over as she knows it. I wish she would just come and have a real life. Our rules are not such that she can't live with them!

Since: Jun 07

JOLIET

#15 Jul 17, 2007
Yeah, I pay for my own health/dental insurance, my own phone/internet/cable, although my parents never bought me a phone even when I lived with them, we purchase my birth control, the whole shabang. Hello, real world.
Rebecca Lynn

West Chicago, IL

#16 Jul 17, 2007
Elizabeth wrote:
Hi everyone.
I am a producer on a new show for NBC and we are looking for young girls in these situations. Our host is a former marine and looking to give out some tough love. Looking to get your daughters back and put your family back together. Please give me a call at 877-836-3402 as soon as possible! Your whole family could get a free trip to Chicago!
My daughter is almost 19 so she might be too old for your show. I can't tell her how to live anymore because she is legally of age.
Rebecca Lynn

West Chicago, IL

#17 Jul 17, 2007
Proud Former Resident wrote:
Yeah, I pay for my own health/dental insurance, my own phone/internet/cable, although my parents never bought me a phone even when I lived with them, we purchase my birth control, the whole shabang. Hello, real world.
Good for you! You sound on the right track anyway. I really think my daughter just wanted to get out of the town we live in- she hated it so much. She lives in Channahon now in a crappy little apartment but she says at least she's "free". Free to what???? Be broke???? Have no food? Come home to do her laundry and borrow money for female necessities? Call me crying every time he treats her like dirt? Work full time and still be broke? Not go to college when her dad and I are willing to pay for it?
Nice freedom!
Cari

United States

#18 Jul 17, 2007
Elizabeth wrote:
Hi everyone.
I am a producer on a new show for NBC and we are looking for young girls in these situations. Our host is a former marine and looking to give out some tough love. Looking to get your daughters back and put your family back together. Please give me a call at 877-836-3402 as soon as possible! Your whole family could get a free trip to Chicago!
HOW OLD IS IT TO. I HAVE A TWENTY ONE YEAR OLD FRIEND THAT IS WHY OUT OF LINE WITH HER PARENTS AND SHE THINKS THAT SHE IS GODS GIFT TO EVERYONE. CAN YOU HELP HER THEY LIVE NEAR CHICAGO.

Since: Jun 07

JOLIET

#19 Jul 17, 2007
Rebecca Lynn wrote:
<quoted text>
Good for you! You sound on the right track anyway. I really think my daughter just wanted to get out of the town we live in- she hated it so much. She lives in Channahon now in a crappy little apartment but she says at least she's "free". Free to what???? Be broke???? Have no food? Come home to do her laundry and borrow money for female necessities? Call me crying every time he treats her like dirt? Work full time and still be broke? Not go to college when her dad and I are willing to pay for it?
Nice freedom!
I wish my parents wouldve paid for college. I cannot get financial aid unless a)I'm 24 and can claim my own taxes or b)I get married.(i wanted to go to the new regency beauty institute part time, but thats 15,000 and less hours for work)
I work at the mall and it is hard paying for all my bills but between the both of us we get it done when we budget our money right.
Elizabeth

New York, NY

#20 Jul 17, 2007
We are able to help all ages and all towns. Just email me the specifics of your story and I will help out in every way I can.

[email protected]

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