Just a girl

Kingsport, TN

#1 Feb 11, 2013
I have a question about women & Christianity. I'm not trying to bash God or religion because honestly I'd really love to be able to fully accept Christ into my life and have this feeling of freedom so many people claim. I've tried to reach out to churches, read my bible, & pray before but every time I do it goes badly. Then something happened last year & I was able to help save a mans life & lead him back to Christ. I felt that the way things were playing out, that God was using the situation to bring me in too. But then everything fell apart on more than one front with the situation & I feel more alienated by God then ever. Now thinking back, I cannot think of a single woman who has any great tales of Christ intervening to bring them back to Him the way men do. I'm told I should submit to my husband, but I have a husband who is constantly in competition with me because I easily excel at some things and he's not happy unless he is superior to me in every way. He would never allow me to have a relationship where I put God ahead of him. But I can't divorce him because that is a sin too. So where exactly does it benefit a woman to be a Christian? I really feel like I would be happier dead, my children are the only thing that keep me going.
Cheese Puff Daddy

Southbury, CT

#2 Feb 11, 2013
Just a girl wrote:
I have a question about women & Christianity. I'm not trying to bash God or religion because honestly I'd really love to be able to fully accept Christ into my life and have this feeling of freedom so many people claim. I've tried to reach out to churches, read my bible, & pray before but every time I do it goes badly. Then something happened last year & I was able to help save a mans life & lead him back to Christ. I felt that the way things were playing out, that God was using the situation to bring me in too. But then everything fell apart on more than one front with the situation & I feel more alienated by God then ever. Now thinking back, I cannot think of a single woman who has any great tales of Christ intervening to bring them back to Him the way men do. I'm told I should submit to my husband, but I have a husband who is constantly in competition with me because I easily excel at some things and he's not happy unless he is superior to me in every way. He would never allow me to have a relationship where I put God ahead of him. But I can't divorce him because that is a sin too. So where exactly does it benefit a woman to be a Christian? I really feel like I would be happier dead, my children are the only thing that keep me going.
I wish I could offer some words of wisdom. I think you're best source of answers will come from the senior female members of your church. Seek them out, ask them how they've overcome similar feelings that you're experiencing now and how they dealt with them. Hopefully such a person will find you on here, but I doubt it. This site leaves a little to be desired when serious religious questions are posed.
Just a girl

Kingsport, TN

#3 Feb 11, 2013
I knew this wasn't the best place to come but feel I'm better off asking anonymously since a lot of my hurt comes from the hypocrites that run amuck in churches. For that reason I don't have a church either. I have very little trust for most people who proclaim to be Christians anymore. So few live what they preach. I haven't been to church since last Easter.
Cheese Puff Daddy

Southbury, CT

#4 Feb 11, 2013
Just a girl wrote:
I knew this wasn't the best place to come but feel I'm better off asking anonymously since a lot of my hurt comes from the hypocrites that run amuck in churches. For that reason I don't have a church either. I have very little trust for most people who proclaim to be Christians anymore. So few live what they preach. I haven't been to church since last Easter.
I understand how you feel. Don't let yourself be consumed by all the people that practice Christianity in a way that's more or less not pleasing to God. Just remember its the fault of the people doing so and not the religion itself. I feel kinda bad about the relationship you describe having with your husband. Sounds like he may have some self esteem problems. In the areas you excel in he should support you and encourage you, not belittle you and make you feel inferior.. Maybe your choice of a church will come from the one who best answers your above questions. On this site, we always hear the bad sides of how people use Christianity and we hardly ever hear about all the food banks and help offered to family's at times of disaster. Keep asking questions and you'll eventually find your answers. Try googling your questions and see what pops up, you never know, it may lead you to a good source of information. I'm sure several other women are going through exactly what you are..
troubled female

Tucker, GA

#5 Feb 15, 2013
I am having the same issue minus the husband. I can't even find a guy that isn't using me to cheat on his pregnant girlfriend (granted, I do work at act, so of course, guys just want to talk their flattery in hopes of sexual favors) personally, what I'm doing, just to feel anything, is I'm attending Bible study to get more information. I feel like small group interactions beat church because it is a deeper lesson, and I get a lot more out of it than waking up early and going to church on Sunday. If you are actually interested you are welcome to join our bible study.
But the best thing for me is faith.
Like even for stupid things like being broke and the machine eating my last dollar(I know that sounds stupid, but yeah), my recent lesson is god does care, and if you put your faith in him, or at least just seek him, he will come.
troubled female

Tucker, GA

#6 Feb 15, 2013
Patience. Patience is a big thing too btw. Like, I suggest reading the story of Job in the Bible.
PWL

Durham, NC

#7 Feb 15, 2013
I know this original poster was asking for experience, strength and hope from women and I don't blame her. But I'm a man. Sometimes, it just helps to know that people care . I can tell that post is sincere and I truly care. I'm very concerned that your so low that you feel like you might be happier dead. That's gong to require some action. That's not gonna take care of itself. I know nothing about you. But I know somebody who knows everything about you. He even knows more about you than you do. He even knew you before you were born. I care about you. BUT HE REALLY CARES. Darling, HE DID CALVARY FOR YOU. Right now, Satan is trying to convince you of otherwise and it's not true. HE REALLY DID DO IT FOR YOU. ON A VERY very personal level. I CARE ABOUT YOU, BUT IM SORRY I DON'T THINK IM CAPABLE OF THAT KIND OF LOVE. I MIGHT BE , I JUST DON'T THINK I AM. THE REASON THAT YOUBARE UNDER ATTACK IS BECAUSE YOU ARE A TREMENDOUS ASSET TO CHRIST. THIS IS WAR, CHILD. NO GAMES. YOU ALREADY COSTED SATAN ONE SOUL, HE CAN'T AFFORD FOR YOU TO DO IT AGAIN. YOUR DALVATION IS SECURE. HE WOULD PREFER IT IF YOU JUST LIVED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE OUT SILENTLY. YOU DIDN'T SO HE HAS ATTACKED. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU WIN THIS WAR. IT'S A VERY VERY STRANGE WAR. YOU HAVE TO SURRENDER TO WIN. YOUR SURRENDER IS TO GIVE IT ALL OVER TO CHRIST, NOT YOUR HUSBAND. HE HAS PROBLEMS. HE IS SUPPOSED TO LOVE YOU AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH. IN MANY WAYS, HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE PREPARED TO GO TO CALVARY FOR YOU. IF HE IS TREATING YOU LIKE THE COMPETITION, YOU MIGHT QUESTION WHIS SIDE HE IS ON. I RUN SOLO. CHRIST HAS ME UNAFFILIATED AND FREE. IT HAS ITS ADVANTAGES. I CAN RESPOND TO ANMORDER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, WHATEVER. YOU HAVE KIDS, ETC......YOU NEED HELP. YOU DESRVE HELP. YOU'RE WORTH THE HELP. TONIGHT I AM GOING TO,PRAY AS HARD AS I KNOW HOW. YOU REALLY NEED A SENIOR WOMAN CHRISTIAN WHO ISN'T ONE OF THESE IDIOTS LIKE YOUR SECOND POST TALKED ABOUT. THE GIRL IN THE OTHER POST THAT IS BEING USED BY MEN FOR SEX IS RIGHT. IN MANY CASES A SMALLER NEW TESTAMENT BIBLE STUDY IS RHE BEST PLACE TO START. I KNOW WHAT IMMTALKING ABOUT, I KNOW THE BIBKE BETTER THAN ANY OERSON WITHIN 100 miles of here. Not bragging, it's just the truth. What might be nice is that the both of you gals met and went to a Wednesday nite study together. Often we look for relationships to heal what's hurting us, when its the relationship that's doing the damage. Ask the husband (if even for a test ) if he would be willing to go to marriage counseling. It will show you his commitment level. I've suggested that before, if he shows unwillingness, then at least you'll know that 1) you can't count on him and 2) you're no longer responsible for him. Wen you are better, he will still be in the dumps. Don't allow him to bring you down. They have VERY SERIOUS SUPPORT GROUPS FOR THESE THINGS. YES, THAT'S IT,,.THE PRAYER HAS ALREADY BEEN ANSWERED. THERE ARE SPIRITUAL 12 step programs with women just sitting there waiting to meet you and be your friend and they know what they're doing too....and it's spiritual. They meet at churches.....lets talk more......your turn
Just another girl

Jonesborough, TN

#8 Feb 15, 2013
Original poster, are you on Facebook? There is a group on there called Church Without Walls. There are a lot of Christian women in that group. They would be able to give you way better advice than you would get on here. Good luck!
patient

Johnson City, TN

#9 Feb 15, 2013
I have experienced your situation.
I found these books to be most informative and were helpful to me: "The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans; Controlling People (How to Recognize,Understand,and Deal with People Who Try to Control You) also by Evans. I personally found the second book hard to understand at the beginning. If this is the same with you, please continue because it is most descriptive of controlling behavior.
Also Google Passive Aggressive Behavior Disorders.
As for the no option for divorce as referenced in the Bible no suggestions to offer except pray for guidance.
I hope this information is helpful. Good Luck!
Good luck and Peace to you.
PWL

United States

#10 Feb 15, 2013
See there. Now some good women are there to help. I'm telling you. Crust has put us here to help each other. I'm very disappointed with the church these days. There are no CoDa meetings in Johnson City. C dependents anonymous....the fastest growing 12 step program for people who continue to find unhealthy relationships. None in JC.... I'll keep hunting for women support groups..... Make some friends. Don't die....
sincerely

Kingsport, TN

#11 Mar 11, 2013
troubled female wrote:
Patience. Patience is a big thing too btw. Like, I suggest reading the story of Job in the Bible.
I am a Christian guy that is looking to meet a good woman to have a Christian relationship with... to be able to study the bible with and who is forgiving of past mistakes. A lot of people claim to be Christians but are not and I understand that. But if you are truly seeking an honest hardworking man, hit me up, maybe we can talk.
i know

Bristol, VA

#12 Mar 11, 2013
First and for most you need to get yourself and children in church u need to worry about your salvation and your kids then maybe your husband will follow praying for you and your family. We have to stand judgement are self answer for are own sins!
justice

Bristol, VA

#13 Mar 11, 2013
Dont you let the devil defeat you girl u show him Pray and God shall answer dont u give up now!! Keep on pressing on girl praying for u!!
Listen

Burnsville, NC

#14 Mar 11, 2013
justice wrote:
Dont you let the devil defeat you girl u show him Pray and God shall answer dont u give up now!! Keep on pressing on girl praying for u!!
Don't listen to these people! You are responsible for your life stop chasing a made up god all over heaven. Take responsibility for your own actions and your life will be better!
say

Kingsport, TN

#15 Mar 12, 2013
Just a girl wrote:
I have a question about women & Christianity. I'm not trying to bash God or religion because honestly I'd really love to be able to fully accept Christ into my life and have this feeling of freedom so many people claim. I've tried to reach out to churches, read my bible, & pray before but every time I do it goes badly. Then something happened last year & I was able to help save a mans life & lead him back to Christ. I felt that the way things were playing out, that God was using the situation to bring me in too. But then everything fell apart on more than one front with the situation & I feel more alienated by God then ever. Now thinking back, I cannot think of a single woman who has any great tales of Christ intervening to bring them back to Him the way men do. I'm told I should submit to my husband, but I have a husband who is constantly in competition with me because I easily excel at some things and he's not happy unless he is superior to me in every way. He would never allow me to have a relationship where I put God ahead of him. But I can't divorce him because that is a sin too. So where exactly does it benefit a woman to be a Christian? I really feel like I would be happier dead, my children are the only thing that keep me going.
Ruth, Esther, well maybe before the New Testament. Women are no less than men in the eyes Of God. Whatever you have to do, do it and know God is by your side. Women were not created to do men's will, but to be a guidance for them, to be the better half. If your hubby wants to make you second class, let him dance by himself, your children are more important. There is no need for men to try to overpower a woman. I think it is clear that neither one can declare themselves as superior. Do what you need to do for the sake of your children and teach them. Any man who thinks he can control a woman is a fool. In the eyes of God, we are equal, each providing for the other. Some folk will tell woman was created for man, and mayhaps that is true. But what would a man be without a woman to be his better half? There is no use in making excuses for a man who wants to overpower a woman. More or less, if he sux, he's no good.
Just a girl

Kingsport, TN

#17 Mar 27, 2013
Just another girl wrote:
Original poster, are you on Facebook? There is a group on there called Church Without Walls. There are a lot of Christian women in that group. They would be able to give you way better advice than you would get on here. Good luck!
I've been searching for Church Without Walls on Facebook but there are about 150 on there. Do you have any more info to help me get to your group? Thanks!
God

Asheville, NC

#18 Apr 1, 2013
Its because I'm not real.
Just a girl

Kingsport, TN

#19 Apr 16, 2013
You all have been better support than anyone else in my life. I think the person who I helped and then they turned their back on me is trying to contact me. Can I ask for some prayers because this whole thing has about destroyed me? I don't know how well ill hold up if all that emotion gets stirred up again. I'll be going into it much weaker than i did the first time & it turned out poorly for me then. Thank you.

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