The obamaboat or Affordable Boat Act !
Posted in the Johnson City Forum
#1 Nov 13, 2013
The U.S. government has just passed a new law entitled "The Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat by April, 2014.
These 'affordable' boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance, or repair costs.
This law has been passed because, until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new
law ensures that every American can now have an 'affordable' boat of their own, because everyone is 'entitled' to a new boat.
If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive four 'free' life jackets (does
not include monthly usage fees).
In order to make sure everyone purchases an 'affordable boat,' the cost of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way,
wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But, to be fair, people who can't afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of
26) can use their parents boat(s) to party on until they turn 27, after which date they must purchase their own boat.
If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't).
If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow.
If you refuse to buy one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one, or face imprisonment.
If you cannot (or don't want to) purchase an 'affordable boat' from a private business, you can buy
a starter boat from the U. S. government 'affordable boat exchange.' Such a boat will have the basic necessities (hull, oars or paddles) and will only
cost 'slightly more' than a similar boat purchased from a private business.
Plus, since your tax dollars will subsidize the purchase of a boat from the U. S. government's 'affordable boat exchange,' it will appear that you are
getting a good deal.
Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert, ghettos, inner cities, or areas with no access to lakes are notexempt.
Pre-existing conditions such as age, motio sickness,
experience, knowledge, nor lack of desire are not acceptable excuses for not using your boat.
A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port side, starboard side, or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including
when, where, how often, and for what purposes you can use your boat, along with how many people can ride your boat. The board will also determine if
one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat, and will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase
specific accessories(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.
Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so ... it's only fair.
The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.
Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free at the expense of tax payers.
This includes lifetime maintenance and automatic adjustments for fuel
Unions, bankers, and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$),
Muslims are also exempt.
Fort Huachuca, AZ
#2 Nov 13, 2013
This is great! I hope that some of the Democratic sheeple read this and understand the symbolism!!
#3 Nov 13, 2013
Missread this one. Thought you wer posting from Woodridge.
#4 Nov 13, 2013
There's no symbolism...it's just retarded ramblings from another Faux news nut.
#5 Nov 14, 2013
How so sheeptard? Come on, tell us all some more lib democrat lies sheep?
#6 Nov 14, 2013
Goverment also says you MUST buy car insurance...is that ok?
#7 Nov 14, 2013
Nah ...we will wait for "geniuses" like Beck , Bachmann, Hannity or Palin to dumb it down for us...after they get their talking points from the Kochs that is!
#8 Nov 14, 2013
You're the one spouting the bullshit lies, not me...
Add your comments below
|Mayor Eldridge's Behavior||2 hr||Dumb Dan||2|
|WC Road Superintendent is Contractor||3 hr||Interesting||1|
|White Lives Matter||4 hr||JuanDeCarlos||13|
|Where is Infinity Spas?? (Dec '08)||5 hr||JMan||52|
|Self Serving Washington County Commissioners||6 hr||Drain the Swamp||1|
|The Ole Barn Restaurant in Johnson City, Tennessee (Feb '12)||22 hr||Dinbc||51|
|Vote Grandy||Fri||Self Serving||4|
Find what you want!
Search Johnson City Forum Now
Copyright © 2017 Topix LLC