You poor thing. Just remember, you didnt do anything wrong here, so dont take the other persons sins upon yourself.I loved my husband I married him when I was in highschool, we didn't have kids until later on. I was faithful over 20 years, I felt unappreciated and unloved for many years. I started talking to this guy then found out he was married but he said he wasn't happy and that I made him happy...I believed him until I found out about the other men then I realized it was all a lie...as far as my dirty laundry I'm just hurting and needed to vent and hear others perspectives, I guess he was right and I was the one in the wrong. But I never played with his heart and I thought it was OK because we both just wanted to feel alive again, but now I just feel even more dead, unattractive, low, dirty, and worthless than ever...
Your husband sounds just like the typical double minded person, unstable in all his ways...
" See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits[a] of the world, and not according to Christ."...Collosians 2:8
I dont have any words to fix yesterday for you What is done is done.
But I can say that we love you, and have prayed for you. The Lord can heal your life, no matter how much damage Satans crowd does to you, or how much evil they bring upon you. The Lord can heal your life if you want Him to.
In fact, The Lord can use you as a potent tool to reach out to others, so as to reach them before they fall into the same trouble that happened to you.
Little is much with The Lord. As weak as we humans are, He allows us to serve Him, so that we can draw closer to Him, Who is perfection and Holiness. No matter who we are, or how beaten up or old or whatever is wrong with us, God can still give us hope and assurance in life, and use us in a mighty way.
I must ask, are you born again? And if so...Can you love The Lord enough to serve Him in this way?