Should I let my 12 yr old get her nipples pierced?

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need feedback

Saint Louis, MO

#1 Dec 16, 2008
We both agreed after some arguing that she won't get a tattoo until she's at least 18. She wants me to compromise and let her get her nipples pierced. I don't like it, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as a tattoo. I'd like your opinions, and share them with her while we make our decision. Thanks!
Doug from the creek

Goose Creek, SC

#2 Dec 17, 2008
Only if I can watch.

Seriously I am just kidding above.

Glad I didnt have to make that decision Probably right not as bad as a tattoo. YOu can remove the ring and it's not seen.

Then how many people are going to see it anyway.

But it does make me wonder if she is a little more premuscative Sp and maybe wanting to show it.

But at 12 hope not. But some kids seem to grow up fast that way.

Maybe getting to prolong it saying she can make the decision if she waits another four years if she still wants to do it. She might change her mind. I guess if not you lose out on the decision.

Since: May 08

Sylvania, GA

#3 Dec 17, 2008
OMG! What? You have got to be kidding me! You are really considering this?! Why do kids want to grow up so fast? What will she benefit from it? I have 3 teenagers an this topic hasn't come up yet. Good luck to you.
neckstoored

Chesterfield, MO

#4 Dec 17, 2008
did you say 12 years old wtf is wrong with you. first off why would a 12 yr old girl want to have her nipples done, where is she getting the idea at are there 12 yr olds at her school with them or is she running around with older kids,or is she getting these ideas at home ether way shes to young to make these decisions at 12,would you let her make the decision to have sex,to drive a car,to have a child, she needs to be treated like a 12 yr old and have her parents give her guidance,when she turns 18 then her body modifications is her chose ,not at 12 let her have a childhood while she can she will thank you later when she is older
need feedback

Saint Louis, MO

#7 Dec 17, 2008
Thanks for the comments, but she is rather grown up for her age. She wants it as a compromise. I think she may decide she doesn't want them eventually and she can just take 'em out. Obviously it's not the same with a tattoo. I'm against that 110%. She's just so aggravating about it, and I don't know what to do but give in and hope she changes her mind. I haven't yet, but it's hard putting up with a screaming soon to be teenager in the house. She's driving me crazy.
Skout

Lady Lake, FL

#8 Dec 18, 2008
Absolutely not! You don't "compromise" with a 12 year old. YOU LAY DOWN THE LAW! How about a private girls school? If you let her do this, she will be using drugs and having sex next, if she's not already. A screaming soon to be teenager? She needs about 4 years of hard labor. Ground her, send her to one those boot camps. I wish I had the choice again, but it is too late for my daughter, she is still screaming.
You had better get her to a counselor and change schools to something that emphases education education education. Uniforms and discipline. Otherwise, you are going to have a horrible teenager on your hands. Trust me, mine is 25, was perfect until she hit 16. She is still a brat. I fuxked up. I let her have her friends, go to concerts, hang out, get pierced, and be who she wanted to be. I should have layed down the law. Now I regret becoming a parent. Don't make the same mistakes I did. I have to listen to all my friends talk about thier college educated kids and how great they are. All I have is a kid who parties all night and sleeps all day.
Honestly, don't be her friend, be her parent. I am so upset about my own child that I have considered suicide. Is that what you want? Because that is where you and this kid are headed! LAY DOWN THE LAW NOW! Or you will be a very young grandparent with a kid who is a total brat!
Skout

Lady Lake, FL

#9 Dec 18, 2008
One more thing, screaming in your house to get her own way is NOT.."rather grown up for her age!" that behavior is immature and shows NO respect for you!
Get control NOW or you will lose total control.
Mark my words.
Amy

Lady Lake, FL

#10 Dec 18, 2008
Wow. She hasn't even developed her breasts yet and you are going to let her what? Parents like you are what is wrong with kids today. Shame on you.

Since: May 08

Sylvania, GA

#11 Dec 18, 2008
For those of you that don't know this past election SC voters agreed that 15 year old girls were old enough to decide to have consensual sex. I guess their trying to cut down on rape and pedophile allegations.
Doug from the creek

Goose Creek, SC

#13 Dec 18, 2008
I guess this makes me feel pretty lucky.

I have five kids. None ever approached me about a tattoo or a piercing like this. Even at an older age than that of when they were 12.

None of my kids have piercings outside of there ears. Well I guess I don't see my girls breasts so I guess they could have and I not know. But I don't think they would be afraid to tell us now if they did being the youngest just graduated with her Masters.

None of the five drink, smoke or really got involved in drugs. A couple might have a social drink ocasionally. All five together probably would drink less than a six pack a year all totaled.

I did have one exception
Now my oldest daughter experimented a year or two in high school. Tried running with a crowd, tried pushing t hings with her mom. I was gone a year and a half at this time in the military. She was told she was going to stay back in school as her grades were not good enough. She said I can advance with summer school..We said fine if she pays for it. Not being able to do the work was one thing, but spending more time with boys and friends was another. She stayed back.It wasn't easy but they knew the rules. You have to stand by your guns.

Now we are not perfect. I realize we were really blessed.

But our kids pretty much knew the rules.

We didn't drink and smoke or do drugs as parents, we didnt expect them to either.

We were actively involved in church and made sure they were as well. My youngest daughter just got back from SE Asia on a mission trip and is looking to go back for a long tour. We were actively involved in there school, etc.

Anyway off track. I agree. 12 years old, she throws a tantrem... Don't give in.. Let her know that it isn't going to happen enough said. If you have been easy and giving in to her tantrems all her life this may be very hard to do. You have to be consistent.

Good luck and forgive my bad humour on my previous post. It was tasteless. I would delete it if I could.
James Bond

United States

#14 Dec 18, 2008
need feedback wrote:
We both agreed after some arguing that she won't get a tattoo until she's at least 18. She wants me to compromise and let her get her nipples pierced. I don't like it, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as a tattoo. I'd like your opinions, and share them with her while we make our decision. Thanks!
This has to be a joke..........right???? She's a child....what is wrong with ya, MOM? I know the culture sexualizes everything, but how about a little backbone?(I will bet you that there is no dad in the picture)
need feedback

Saint Louis, MO

#15 Dec 18, 2008
Thanks Doug for your kind comment!
Her father left us when she was three. I'm a single Mom with 2 kids that want to be adults. Sometimes I think I'm goin crazy. It's not their fault. I blame her dad for leaving me to make these decisions and put up with chaos if I don't give in. I feel like I'm goin crazy, and just don't know what to do anymore. I've done the best I know how and I feel like I've failed in some way. It's either I give in or my life is a living hell.
lol

El Dorado Springs, MO

#16 Dec 18, 2008
need feedback wrote:
We both agreed after some arguing that she won't get a tattoo until she's at least 18. She wants me to compromise and let her get her nipples pierced. I don't like it, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as a tattoo. I'd like your opinions, and share them with her while we make our decision. Thanks!
You need to take control of your home. twelve year olds that you do not tell no. end up with babies. children need parents not best friends. by letting your child run all over you; you are not doing either of you a favor.
Cool

Gilbert, WV

#17 Dec 18, 2008
First the nipples, then the tongue, then the v gina that glows in the dark. My opionion, it may be cool if the nipples flashed, especially if they would flash with heart rate, that would be cool. This is a dumb answer for a dumb question, but it would be cool.
Doug from the creek

Goose Creek, SC

#18 Dec 19, 2008
I know you might be tired of her tantrems. Being a single mother of two can't and isnt easy.

But its kind of like that crying child who cries and won't go to sleep. IF you keep going in there that child will keep crying. Your daughter might throw the tantrem. But eventually she will quit throwing them if she knows she won't be able to get her way. But it is easier to have two adults supporting each other in these situations as well.
guest

Cape Girardeau, MO

#19 Dec 19, 2008
Amy wrote:
Wow. She hasn't even developed her breasts yet and you are going to let her what? Parents like you are what is wrong with kids today. Shame on you.
You are exactly right Amy.

One more thing that needs to be realized here...is that by letting your twelve-year old get this done, you are marking her for life to be surrounded by the wrong crowd. I'll tell you the truth..going on what you've said, she does not sound like someone I would want my child to be friends with. You need to realize that YOU are her major influence in life, and she will carry that to her every environment....therefore forcing good parents to keep their children away from such behavior. Your daughter will pay a much higher price in the end, and you will never be able to get over that as her mother. STOP it now!!
guest

Cape Girardeau, MO

#20 Dec 19, 2008
need feedback wrote:
Thanks Doug for your kind comment!
Her father left us when she was three. I'm a single Mom with 2 kids that want to be adults. Sometimes I think I'm goin crazy. It's not their fault. I blame her dad for leaving me to make these decisions and put up with chaos if I don't give in. I feel like I'm goin crazy, and just don't know what to do anymore. I've done the best I know how and I feel like I've failed in some way. It's either I give in or my life is a living hell.
Well, I for the most part am a single parent too. Discipline and structure lays on my shoulders, and I have taken that to be one of my top priorities in parenting my two children. I have seen that parenting will give them a good foundation, but it is not always enough. As crazy as it sounds, you MUST control their environment. This means family and friends. We all have someone in our family or a close friend who may not be the best influence on our children. While we may not be able to control who we see at family functions, or at public outings such as Wal-Mart, it is our job as parents to make sure our children know without a doubt that certain behavior is wrong. By doing this, you help them shape their own social life. It is only one of the many "good decision" techniques they NEED to learn throughout life. It begins with you, mom. You may be alone in this, but you don't have time to feel sorry for yourself. Your children will see your strength and they need to. They will respect you more for it. Things always get harder before they get easier, but you don't have a choice if you want them to be upstanding citizens. They NEED you to be tougher than their fits.
guest

Cape Girardeau, MO

#21 Dec 19, 2008
Sorry if I sounded too harsh in my above posts, but this situation sounds pretty serious. A while back, my kids started driving my crazy. Throwing tantrums, talking back, and fighting constantly. The Mommy role was not turning out as fun as I thought it would be. I decided then that I wanted to enjoy my children, not just get through the years. Life was happening whether I was plugged in or not, and my children were growing fast...and learning things with or without me. I did not want to look back ten years from now and wonder, "what happened"? I decided then to get plugged in and stay that way. I'm telling you girl, it worked. They are GREAT kids, and appreciate the fact that they have a mommy with a SERIOUS backbone. I can honestly say that I am enjoying every minute of their lives, and it shows in the way they react to me. I truly believe it is the greatest gift I could have ever given them. They honor the structure in our home, and respect the discipline. They have a genuine sense of stability, and will carry that throughout life. It is the one gift I can give that they will never grow out of.
Doug from the creek

Goose Creek, SC

#22 Dec 19, 2008
Sometimes kids just want someone to really set down the rules. THey might not like it.

I had a situationin the military as a military instructer. I did my best to try and help the students in the class. We had night study and was required to only be there as duty instructor about once every two weeks on rotation. But when I had a class I was in there three, four or five times aweek. Helping my class alone.

I didn't get a lot of great feed back as thanks to Chief petty officer for all his help in spending time after class. But the best comments came on those who I really pushed hard to get it. I felt that those were the ones I would get the worst comments from. But they were the ones that were the happiest to have someone push them instead of coddling them through.
Dr D

Huntsville, AL

#24 Dec 22, 2008
As an emergency room physician I have seen an alarming increase in MRSA (drug resistant staph) infections requiring incison and drainage of large amounts of pus and leaving scars and often reoccurring in the same area. Any site where the skin is broken is at potential risk for this. For this reason, I think you would be putting your 12 year old daughter at risk of a potentially life threatening infection if you allow unnecessary piercing. JUST SAY NO.

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