Lying boy faces public punishment

Lying boy faces public punishment

There are 130 comments on the WOOD-TV Grand Rapids and Michigan story from Apr 23, 2008, titled Lying boy faces public punishment. In it, WOOD-TV Grand Rapids and Michigan reports that:

Brandon Willman kept lying to his mom. So instead of grounding him, Rebecca Velasco made her 13-year-old son stand at an intersection in Jenison with a sign that read "I can't stop lying to my mom.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at WOOD-TV Grand Rapids and Michigan.

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Another Mom

Grand Blanc, MI

#1 Apr 23, 2008
I think that this is a lesson that Brandon will take with him for the rest of his life. Good job, Mom!
newyorkvoter

Kingston, NY

#2 Apr 23, 2008
Yeah, that was one of the top ten parenting tips in this book called "How to make a psycho". Way to go mom!
chickie

Lansing, MI

#3 Apr 23, 2008
newyorkvoter wrote:
Yeah, that was one of the top ten parenting tips in this book called "How to make a psycho". Way to go mom!
Shall she beat him to a bloody pulp, then lose all her kids? cause that seems to be the better choice! Do you have kids?
A Real Parent

Grand Rapids, MI

#4 Apr 23, 2008
Hey New York, the current parents of teenagers in this country have made the next generation a bunch of selfish punks that think the world owes them something rather than making them work for it. Parents everywhere need to grow a pair and stand up to their kids and make them face the music when they do something wrong. No more blaming the schools, teachers, coaches and the rest of society for the short-comings of our children. Parents - look in the mirror and see that change starts at home.
FloydPutnik

Grand Rapids, MI

#5 Apr 23, 2008
She should eat him.
Father of four

Washington, MI

#6 Apr 23, 2008
The thing about lying is, the lie is ALWAYS found out. I think this kid is learning that. Those who would rather treat a serious thing like this with kid gloves will get out what they put in.
Missy

Minonk, IL

#7 Apr 23, 2008
I think there are better ways to go about this, like taking away privledges and things. Publically humiliating him on tv is scaring him for life and is completely rediculus.

Signed, a former single parent.
big bad voodoo shattie

Hudsonville, MI

#8 Apr 23, 2008
kids lie because they can get out of trouble, unless they get caught. i guess this kid sucks at lying, he should try some thing else to do.
a parent

Greenville, MI

#9 Apr 23, 2008
why does this kid feel the constant need to lie to his mom ... is she so close minded that her own child does not feel comfortable talking open and honestly with her.... is he so afraid that he feels he must lie.... many reasons a child lies but if you give them support and stability usually you find they do not feel they must lie
Valerie

Plymouth, MI

#10 Apr 23, 2008
a parent wrote:
why does this kid feel the constant need to lie to his mom ... is she so close minded that her own child does not feel comfortable talking open and honestly with her.... is he so afraid that he feels he must lie.... many reasons a child lies but if you give them support and stability usually you find they do not feel they must lie
He's lying to her about doing homework.
What 13yr old doesn't want to do homework? Almost everyone.

he's not afraid of her, he just doesn't want to do homework.

Also.
She's taking priveledges away from him, it didn't work he continues to lie.
It wasn't working it was time for something more extreme.
Rebecca

Macomb, MI

#11 Apr 23, 2008
a parent wrote:
why does this kid feel the constant need to lie to his mom ... is she so close minded that her own child does not feel comfortable talking open and honestly with her.... is he so afraid that he feels he must lie.... many reasons a child lies but if you give them support and stability usually you find they do not feel they must lie
He doesnt even know why he lies, his only answers when asked why he does it are "because I dont think I'll get caught" and "I dont know". We've talked for hours and hours on many occasions, we've negotiated, we've been going through this for a very long time... you have no idea.

Brandon and I have a very close relationship, he has nothing to be afraid of... he's in a home with a mother and a father who love him and his brother's very much and do their very best to keep him happy (but expect certain things in return - such as a good honest effort in school, a little bit of help around the house, honesty, and respect.)

Im not going to be one of those parents who give their kids everything and anything while letting them get away with being disrespectful and problematic.

I dont expect Brandon to grow up to be a perfect person, I cant expect that as it's impossible. But, as his mother I can do my best to enstill values that will take him places where others can only wish they could go.

We're not in a home that's unstable, or underprivaledged... we've had tough times in our journey and we'll have more Im sure... but the bad times that we've overcome have only taught him to appreciate the little things in life, and many parents arent as fortunate as I am to have a child like that.

You guys are so quick to judge, but you know... I could have beaten him, I could ignore his poor choices and not be involved in his life, I could just not acknowledge the wrongdoings and pretend he doesnt do anything wrong... but I am better than that and I dont care if you agree or not.

Too many parents let their kids do whatever they want, whenever they want, with whoever they want and dont ask questions. Many parents dont even know what their kids are doing in their rooms, online, at school, etc. I feel that I have a responsibility as his parent to be involed with everything he does... from where he plays, who he plays with, whether or not he does his homework, what he's learning at school, what he's having trouble with, what he's doing that's great, etc, etc, etc.

When he does something good, I tell him Im proud. When he does something bad, I tell him how disappointed I am, how much it hurts, and if necessary I take action. That's what being a parent is about.
a parent

Greenville, MI

#12 Apr 23, 2008
if homework is the big "problem" when it comes to lying maybe a learning disability or alternative way of learning should be looked at ....but public humiliation? not a good idea
Rebecca

Macomb, MI

#13 Apr 23, 2008
Putting him in special ed would humiliate him and lower his self esteem MUCH more than standing on a corner for 45 minutes.

I dont know what other "alternative way of learning" you think there is that would resolve the problem... when you've got parents who not only have the time, but will do their best to help you with your homework, and teachers who are willing to help you and you'd rather lie and just avoid doing the work - it's not a learning disability, it's just an unwillingness to try.
Who Knew

Wayland, MI

#14 Apr 24, 2008
Rebecca are you the mom?,

I have been watching this thread. I know that we are raising our kids to survive in this world as it is today and that what we are doing is not easy. Alot of criticism has been leveled against the decision you made and certainly some good ideas have come of it.

What I want to say to you is this:

First, in between all of that are ALOT of supportive people. Just remember that you are not alone.

Second, Many of the people who are critical of the punishment do not follow the same thought process that we do. If you believe, like I do, that raising them up to be happy, healthy, productive members of society is your final goal then PLEASE do not let this discourage you.

Third, Children since the beginning have been subject to the wrong path. We can only hope and pray that they make it through the tough teenage years and in the process do our best to give them the tools they need. We are beginning to see the effects of LYING in an entire generation. You are right to take it seriously.

Fourth, okay somewhat winded here....take to heart what you probably already know. As parents, we make our decisions based on what we think is best for the situation. I have found that many posts who are critical are not from people that I would trust to guide me on this journey. I know alot of people that are doing things differently than we are. I am not saying they are bad parents. Parenting is a risk we take and we all take our own path. Let them have theirs.

Finally, and most importantly! Thank You! We have kids about your sons age and appreciate very much that when they are older we have hope that the decline we see is being turned around by one more family.

bbb

Coldwater, MI

#15 Apr 24, 2008
Maybe the learning disabilaty suggestion isn't too far off the mark. It doesn't mean he would necessarily be put into "special ed" classes. Maybe it would mean just some tutoring in certain subjects or even a little counseling. I think people need to look at what thier childs NEEDS are.NOBODY needs to be publicly humiliated!!What if his teacher had made him stand in public with a sign that said " I didn't do my homework". I know, I know... He's your son and you have the "right" to do that. The fact that his mother did this to him only makes it worse.There is a reason your son lies to you on a regular basis. I'm not saying it's fear of you, but you need to help him figure out why he behaves this way!!
Rob

Ann Arbor, MI

#16 Apr 24, 2008
Rebecca wrote:
<quoted text>
He doesnt even know why he lies, his only answers when asked why he does it are "because I dont think I'll get caught" and "I dont know". We've talked for hours and hours on many occasions, we've negotiated, we've been going through this for a very long time... you have no idea.
Brandon and I have a very close relationship, he has nothing to be afraid of... he's in a home with a mother and a father who love him and his brother's very much and do their very best to keep him happy (but expect certain things in return - such as a good honest effort in school, a little bit of help around the house, honesty, and respect.)
Im not going to be one of those parents who give their kids everything and anything while letting them get away with being disrespectful and problematic.
I dont expect Brandon to grow up to be a perfect person, I cant expect that as it's impossible. But, as his mother I can do my best to enstill values that will take him places where others can only wish they could go.
We're not in a home that's unstable, or underprivaledged... we've had tough times in our journey and we'll have more Im sure... but the bad times that we've overcome have only taught him to appreciate the little things in life, and many parents arent as fortunate as I am to have a child like that.
You guys are so quick to judge, but you know... I could have beaten him, I could ignore his poor choices and not be involved in his life, I could just not acknowledge the wrongdoings and pretend he doesnt do anything wrong... but I am better than that and I dont care if you agree or not.
Too many parents let their kids do whatever they want, whenever they want, with whoever they want and dont ask questions. Many parents dont even know what their kids are doing in their rooms, online, at school, etc. I feel that I have a responsibility as his parent to be involed with everything he does... from where he plays, who he plays with, whether or not he does his homework, what he's learning at school, what he's having trouble with, what he's doing that's great, etc, etc, etc.
When he does something good, I tell him Im proud. When he does something bad, I tell him how disappointed I am, how much it hurts, and if necessary I take action. That's what being a parent is about.
YOU PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE ALL OVER GREATER GRAND RAPIDS, and in your other thread you even said you saw others do it. You did this for attention, you allowed your son to be put on TV to be humiliated. Yup we need more people making fools of their kids. No other possible way to handle is.

You just wanted and like the attention. if you do not like what people have to say maybe you ought to think about what you do before you do it.

As I am sure you know the media cannot put a minor on TV without your permission....You could have stopped when the TV crew came out (assuming you did not call them yourself), you could have stopped and not posted here...You are just sick.
Rob

Ann Arbor, MI

#17 Apr 24, 2008
Rebecca wrote:
Putting him in special ed would humiliate him and lower his self esteem MUCH more than standing on a corner for 45 minutes.
I dont know what other "alternative way of learning" you think there is that would resolve the problem... when you've got parents who not only have the time, but will do their best to help you with your homework, and teachers who are willing to help you and you'd rather lie and just avoid doing the work - it's not a learning disability, it's just an unwillingness to try.
And he learned that where?

So far you have not even considered the possibility you did something wrong. People here are saying things, a MINISTER came to you and all do not have the honesty to even "consider" this was a terrible mistake or to consider putting the kid on TV was a mistake, or consider another option to teach the lesson.

Oh yeah and you are pretty honest.
Another Mom

Grand Rapids, MI

#18 Apr 24, 2008
Rebecca-

Again, you taught your child a lesson that he will take with him the rest of his life. It's great that you were acting as a parent. Congratulations and job well done!
Gail in Wyoming

Wixom, MI

#19 Apr 24, 2008
Rebecca,

We all want the best for our children. We want them to grow up to become adults with moral character, and we do what we have to do to get them there.

You have tried other forms of punishment, to no avail, so you had to resort to this to get your son to understand his wrongs.

Thank you for having the courage to do so.
Rob

Ann Arbor, MI

#20 Apr 24, 2008
Another Mom wrote:
Rebecca-
Again, you taught your child a lesson that he will take with him the rest of his life. It's great that you were acting as a parent. Congratulations and job well done!
What a sad commentary on human beings who seem to take joy at the humiliation of children.

You did great harm to your son with this stunt and you should be standing out with a sign apologizing to him.

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