I Don't Understand
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Confused

United States

#1 Oct 3, 2012
I don't understand why people cheat. Is marriage nothing to anyone?
iunderstand

Jackson, TN

#2 Oct 3, 2012
men cheat for sex. women cheat for emotional needs or they are bored being someones wife.
Guest

United States

#3 Oct 3, 2012
iunderstand wrote:
men cheat for sex. women cheat for emotional needs or they are bored being someones wife.
Men cheat for emotional needs and women cheat for sex too. It isn't as black and white as you claim. Don't be a man hater, lady!
Confused

United States

#4 Oct 3, 2012
But why cheat if you have it good at home? Do married couples get bored?
Confused

United States

#5 Oct 3, 2012
Is there such a thing anymore as being truly in love with one person or am I just old fashioned?
i understand

Jackson, TN

#6 Oct 3, 2012
Guest wrote:
<quoted text>
Men cheat for emotional needs and women cheat for sex too. It isn't as black and white as you claim. Don't be a man hater, lady!
if a married woman wants sex from her husband she gets it. If a man wants it then its not that automatic. The wife always has an excuse like too tired, don't feel good, you don't treat me right. All the while other women treat the husband like he's the best thing going. Men treat their wives like they are good for only sex. Husbands and wives go through this all the time. Instead of dealing with it they find happiness somewhere else.
wrong

United States

#7 Oct 3, 2012
There are women that do not get sex from their husbands when they want it. They treat their husbands good and are ready to go at it anytime he wants but it is not like that for her. People get tired of being turned down sexually and emotionally. eventually they will find someone who will fill their needs.
true but

Brighton, TN

#8 Oct 3, 2012
wrong wrote:
There are women that do not get sex from their husbands when they want it. They treat their husbands good and are ready to go at it anytime he wants but it is not like that for her. People get tired of being turned down sexually and emotionally. eventually they will find someone who will fill their needs.
This is true sometimes but why not be upfront instead of being sneaky? The deception cuts deeper than the act.
Anonymous

United States

#9 Oct 3, 2012
Why do people cheat? I have no good answer. Each of us is different. I know men and women who have cheated. I get asked out more frequently by married men than single men. I've pondered this often. When I find out a man is married I stop all communication. In several cases it made the man mad. IN MY OPINION, please realize this is a personal opinion that is mine. People cheat because something is lacking in their relationship. I say go to your partner and talk it out. Fix it if you can. There are some that cheating fulfills some need to be deceptive. Some are confused and just want time outside of their reality. Some are just liars and this is a way to lie. And some just meet someone and one thing leads to another. Some are so pushy it's easier to go it than fight it. There are a million reasons. IN MY OPINION there is no reason to cheat. If I can't go to my partner and be honest with them and them with me I end the relationship. You can have a relationship with no cheating. It takes work and trust. Of course there are some who are just plain scum who think its ok without considering the feelings of all the people that will be hurt by even cheating once. Yes, I'm single and prefer to be alone. Maybe someday I'll meet someone I can trust. Good luck. I hope this helps a little.
Confused

Sarasota, FL

#10 Oct 3, 2012
I understand if your not sexually or even emotionally fulfilling someone's needs. I have been in an emotionally draining relationship and it tore me down. Now that I am wanting to be with one person and I thought this was what my significant other wanted and now i almost feel like it was a trap. Yes I have cheated but that was back in highschool. Now I just want someone that wants to be with only me. I know that sounds boring but my parents did it. To me if you weren't looking to be with someone permanently then why start a relationship. You can't always have your cake and eat it to...
Ksmile

United States

#11 Oct 3, 2012
Everyone cheats. It just takes the right reason. I dont care how good u are, how christian u are, whatever. It doesnt take care of ur baser needs. Every1 wants to be wanted.
tyrone

Gadsden, TN

#12 Oct 3, 2012
All them white ladies love the thick BBC. What can I say.
Confused

United States

#13 Oct 3, 2012
I still don't understand. Why cheat? If your not getting needs fulfilled then find someone that will. Don't lead someone on for years and then finally let them go. I was faithful in my last relationship of almost nine years. And when there was temptation I was proud to say I wanted to be where I was. To find out that he had cheated on me numerous times and still stayed with me was hard on me. But I am glad we have moved on. Now I am where I want to be but I don't know if my significant other has the same feelings. He says so but some actions show differently.
Guest

United States

#14 Oct 3, 2012
i understand wrote:
<quoted text>if a married woman wants sex from her husband she gets it. If a man wants it then its not that automatic. The wife always has an excuse like too tired, don't feel good, you don't treat me right. All the while other women treat the husband like he's the best thing going. Men treat their wives like they are good for only sex. Husbands and wives go through this all the time. Instead of dealing with it they find happiness somewhere else.
Not sure they find happiness as much as attention they feel they need.
cursed

Medon, TN

#15 Oct 3, 2012
i agree with ksmile..i screwed up a few years ago..things wasnt great but for months there wasnt much communication or affection..i never thought id ever do that and i did..i was proud to say i wasnt that way..i messed up and til this day idk how it happened there for a few months i lost my mind..it made me realize my wife and kids were the most important it was a horrible situation..but being the wonderful person she was wanted it to work for her family..but after a few months she didnt want to put in the work..i was willing to do anything..she ended up having a affair also a year or so later then filed for divorce 2 weeks later..she was my bestfriend and if i wouldnt have screwed up she probably wouldnt have..it was out of character for both of us..neither one of us thought of our poor kids that didnt deserve this..i lost my kids and wife/bestfriend all becuz of a mistake..its not worth it folks i promise..if you ever loved ur spouse and im sure at one time you have..talk communicate spend time together..dont let it happen..there are times i would rather eat a bullett then to think about not ever having my family again..cuz thats the cold hard truth and wouldnt wish it on anyone!!
Confused

United States

#16 Oct 3, 2012
cursed wrote:
i agree with ksmile..i screwed up a few years ago..things wasnt great but for months there wasnt much communication or affection..i never thought id ever do that and i did..i was proud to say i wasnt that way..i messed up and til this day idk how it happened there for a few months i lost my mind..it made me realize my wife and kids were the most important it was a horrible situation..but being the wonderful person she was wanted it to work for her family..but after a few months she didnt want to put in the work..i was willing to do anything..she ended up having a affair also a year or so later then filed for divorce 2 weeks later..she was my bestfriend and if i wouldnt have screwed up she probably wouldnt have..it was out of character for both of us..neither one of us thought of our poor kids that didnt deserve this..i lost my kids and wife/bestfriend all becuz of a mistake..its not worth it folks i promise..if you ever loved ur spouse and im sure at one time you have..talk communicate spend time together..dont let it happen..there are times i would rather eat a bullett then to think about not ever having my family again..cuz thats the cold hard truth and wouldnt wish it on anyone!!
And I have been putting in the effort. I feel like I am in a one sides relationship. I don't even think about cheating at all. It doesn't cross my mind. I have been ready to settle down for years. And I didn't find the right person until a year ago. And I want to do everything right. I just don't want to put forth an effort if I feel in the end it wasn't worth it...
worth it

Brighton, TN

#17 Oct 4, 2012
Confused wrote:
<quoted text>
And I have been putting in the effort. I feel like I am in a one sides relationship. I don't even think about cheating at all. It doesn't cross my mind. I have been ready to settle down for years. And I didn't find the right person until a year ago. And I want to do everything right. I just don't want to put forth an effort if I feel in the end it wasn't worth it...
If its worth it to you, then its worth it. You CANT control others, nor do you want to.
cursed

Medon, TN

#18 Oct 4, 2012
well idk what to tell ya..obviously u dont want to take advice from me..ill be divorced in a few months so me nor the kids meant enough to be giving a second chance..when u have kids and/or already married then its differant..if i knew what to do my life wouldnt be so miserable
Ksmile

Waco, TX

#19 Oct 4, 2012
Cheating doesnt necessarily have anything to do with the effort either party puts in. Dont let it make u feel like ur not doing enough. Sometimes people get caught up. If ur happy where u are then dont worry. Take care of urself 1st.
Confused

United States

#20 Oct 4, 2012
cursed wrote:
well idk what to tell ya..obviously u dont want to take advice from me..ill be divorced in a few months so me nor the kids meant enough to be giving a second chance..when u have kids and/or already married then its differant..if i knew what to do my life wouldnt be so miserable
We both have children from previous relationships. Neither of us have ever been married and we would like to but I don't want to get divorced. I am willing to work on problems that arise and if they cheat and/or are cheating I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it. I am ready to be a family. I don't want to get heartbroken. Guess that is why they call it risk...

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