Missy R

United States

#22 Jan 4, 2013
Well i'm 40 yrs old now & haven't found it yet. Either i'm missing something or like i said, it's not meant for me.
Cyclist

Jackson, TN

#23 Jan 4, 2013
Missy R wrote:
Well i'm 40 yrs old now & haven't found it yet. Either i'm missing something or like i said, it's not meant for me.
Have you ever been in love?
Missy R

United States

#24 Jan 4, 2013
Well i thought i was once, but i guess not. What does it feel like? Or how are u suppose to feel?
Cyclist

Jackson, TN

#25 Jan 4, 2013
Well, I guess it may be different for different people but in general I would say that you can't imagine your life without the other person. Your desire is to put the other persons needs or wants ahead of yours. Your priorities are no longer singular, but include the other person.
Missy R

United States

#27 Jan 4, 2013
Well i've done all of those. Guess maybe i was loving the wrong person huh?
Cyclist

Jackson, TN

#29 Jan 4, 2013
Missy R wrote:
Well i've done all of those. Guess maybe i was loving the wrong person huh?
If he wasn't doing these in return, then yes, I would say so.
Danzig

Västerås, Sweden

#30 Jan 4, 2013
Missy R wrote:
Well i've done all of those. Guess maybe i was loving the wrong person huh?
The problem is more that we learn outer models of what relationships should be, you know princes/princesses and all that, so it's like a manuscript and we begin to play roles in a theater. A role is fake, not genuine, so it's quite easy to understand that it won't work.
Danzig

Västerås, Sweden

#31 Jan 4, 2013
Cyclist wrote:
<quoted text>
If he wasn't doing these in return, then yes, I would say so.
Love is not like raising a dog, that when you do like this, then the other part starts wagging his tail, otherwise he's a bad dog.
Missy R

United States

#32 Jan 4, 2013
Cyclist wrote:
<quoted text>
If he wasn't doing these in return, then yes, I would say so.
Yes he was a very good user, liar & manipulator.
Danzig

Västerås, Sweden

#34 Jan 4, 2013
Missy R wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes he was a very good user, liar & manipulator.
And you were good at being used, lied to and manipulated? Why is that?
Missy R

United States

#35 Jan 4, 2013
Still trying to figure that part out. Guess i believed in it all & didn't want to doubt.
Danzig

Västerås, Sweden

#36 Jan 4, 2013
Missy R wrote:
Still trying to figure that part out. Guess i believed in it all & didn't want to doubt.
Exactly, we deceive ourselves and create an illusion of love and nearness, and then we try to maintain that illusion by lying even more. The "guilty" one is always in the mirror, since if you would have seen clearly what it is, then you would have made different choices. Naturally the other part is responsible for his choices, but that's not relevant for you right now. If you understand this and what mistakes you did, you wont do the same ones again, and that creates a possibility to build a genuine relationship in the future.
Missy R

United States

#37 Jan 4, 2013
I guess won't ever know the mistakes i made. Except trusting someone i thought was real. So that means never trust another, that's all i've learned.
Tried it

Jackson, TN

#38 Jan 4, 2013
Love can't suck because it dosent exist.
jackson man

Brighton, TN

#39 Jan 4, 2013
Well you know this is indeed strange because when I said such things I was grilled , drilled and called an asshole among other things for even bringin it up.

All this aside though, I must agree with you who believe LOVE doesn't exist. I don't think it does.
Before anyone asks , yes I have been in love before and I know the way a man feels when he can truly say this. But that was then and this is now. Our culture has changed a lot and more and more people are only concerned with the moment. At the risk of being crude it all boils down to "get laid tonight and move on tomorrow" you might say we've entered the era of the disposable relationship. Everone enters in knowing it's only temporary till the next hot opportunity comes along.

Let us all agree on this , Love does not exist !
tired of it

Jackson, TN

#40 Jan 4, 2013
Love does exist but usually it's one sided. That is why it sucks.
Missy R

United States

#41 Jan 5, 2013
Yes that's right, there is love but it's one sided. I met this man & no i didn't sleep with him the minute i met him. I loved him dearly as i thought he did me. I have noticed i have posted before on other threads about missing him & all. You know what i get in replies half the time? Negativity, ugliness, mean, hateful, cruel remarks & those are coming from him. I have noticed he never replies to anything good that's been said, but he will jump for one little thing he finds negative. I gave up & went thru a lot for him, as God as my witness he knows. Some people i guess are just in it for the thrill & sex. I was in it for everything. I don't have a problem meeting anyone, but i haven't met that one & all i want to do is be gone, i want to sleep forever because i'm so tired.
tired of it

Jackson, TN

#42 Jan 5, 2013
you are not alone in that feeling, missy. I wish I could just disappear too. I know it's a pathetic thing that we allow our selves to feel this way because of others.
jackson man

Brighton, TN

#43 Jan 5, 2013
As for me if grown well beyond any feelings of hopelessness, despair or depression. It takes time to heal and discover yourself after emotional upheaval. I am whole again and quite blessed really although I have no mate I also realize it may not be God's intent for me and if so I will be ok no matter what. No one should ever feel or be made to feel they are not whole if they are alone. I am whole and I will be fine.

You guys will be too believe it or not. I have several years practice at this and I know what it mrans to each of you. Would I like to have a mate? Yes I would but right now it's not in the cards so I live life to the fullest without one. You know what? I enjoy life too and I' m thsnkful for it.
Danzig

Västerås, Sweden

#44 Jan 5, 2013
We do as we are taught, and it doesn't work, it's that simple. Our ideas of relationships and love are what we use in our attempts to reach it, and since we don't get the wanted results, those ideas should be the first ones to be questioned.

If we get a bad soup every time, we have to change the recipe. According to the book I mentioned we do almost everything by outer "recipes", both in life and relationships, we don't make our own "recipe" and therefore we don't even make an own soup. Alkuajatus doesn't offer you a recipe, it helps you to clear your mind of the outer recipes so that you can make your own.

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