Why do women allow men abuse them ?

Why do women allow men abuse them ?

Posted in the Irvine Forum

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old school

Centerburg, OH

#1 Sep 15, 2010
Real men do not abuse women. Real men respect their women. It makes me so angry to see a woman let a man abuse her. Not just physically but mentally also.

I would rather someone hit me than to call me names.
The thing is, I hit back. I would never allow this to happen.

“I AM OPINIONATED”

Since: Feb 09

Sittin on the Dock of the Bay

#2 Sep 15, 2010
old school wrote:
Real men do not abuse women. Real men respect their women. It makes me so angry to see a woman let a man abuse her. Not just physically but mentally also.
I would rather someone hit me than to call me names.
The thing is, I hit back. I would never allow this to happen.
It comes down to RESPECT, people need to appreciate each other more.

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#3 Sep 15, 2010
I think women that tolerate this kind of behavior must have no self esteem or self worth. The man constantly belittles them and puts them down to where they feel that what he says and does is right. Usually physical abuse heals but the mental abuse never heals without professional help. Does Estill have a womans shelter anywhere? Women will stay in a bad enviroment most the time because they have children and will not leave them behind afraid they will be abused. But has no financial means to move theirself and children out from the abuser. You would think with all the churches we have we'd have a woman and childrens shelter. Maybe we do, I hope so. Does anyone know and if so please say where it is in case someone needs to get out of a bad situation. Thank you.
theonlyway

Irvine, KY

#5 Sep 16, 2010
Save a Teen wrote:
The man constantly belittles them and puts them down to where they feel that what he says and does is right.
Isn't that what you do? You would know wouldn't you.

“Just my opinion”

Since: Aug 10

Location hidden

#6 Sep 16, 2010
theonlyway wrote:
<quoted text>
Isn't that what you do? You would know wouldn't you.
You try to change every post into your own stalking forum. No one cares why bother? Everyone can see what is going on. Give it a rest

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#7 Sep 16, 2010
I guess he thinks we were all born yesterday and don't know how to put one foot in front of the other. You are right about everyone can see and definitely figure him out. Doesn't take a fake Ms Sumacomlada myass to figure it out except in his case that is:) LOL
sabrina

Philadelphia, PA

#8 May 19, 2011
it is very sad to go thru such things like this and people need to realize to stop before it leads to different attempts.

“Fighting Cancer”

Since: Aug 10

Location hidden

#9 May 20, 2011
I want to thank 'sabrina' for bringing this thread back to the top.

I agree 100% with what SAT said in post #3.

"I think women that tolerate this kind of behavior must have no self esteem or self worth. The man constantly belittles them and puts them down to where they feel that what he says and does is right. Usually physical abuse heals but the mental abuse never heals without professional help. Women will stay in a bad enviroment most the time because they have children and will not leave them behind afraid they will be abused. But has no financial means to move theirself and children out from the abuser."

I would also like to add the following:

The feeling of low self-esteem and self-worth, is a direct result from the abuse. If this happens to a very young person, possibly with children, she will stay in the relationship/marriage, thinking this is the way life is. Some women are lucky enough to get out of it. Others are not.

If you haven't been through it, just imagine this: Anger. Fear. Being a prisoner in your own home. Wishing he wouldn't come home because you have no idea what he is going to do or say. It's like one of those scary movies where the plot starts to thicken, and the music has you on the edge of your seat all the time. You get nervous. Maybe lose alot of weight, or even over-eat. You may even wish you were dead.....

Churches and other community programs can work wonders, as well as counseling. However, any attempt at getting help while still living with the abuser could possibly cause him to be more violent, because, after all, he wants to be in total control.

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#10 May 20, 2011
LET NO MAN or WOMAN get a upper hand on you,remember you have the ability to take down the aggressor by using your god given talents,always remember to become on TOP you must sometimes lay down on bottom,this called LIVING TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY other than dieing today you will be putting evil away tomorrow,after a well planned attack.I HATE AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE.
for real

Irvine, KY

#11 May 20, 2011
unless you walk in another shoes you never know what they go through you never know how are what you would do unless you have been through domestic violence it is no fun to live this way but you can get out

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#12 May 20, 2011
TO be killed while standing your ground,
is better than dieing begging evil to spare you.Evil feeds on the meek,dont feed the hand that bites you,remove its teeth if need be.
Cobra40336

Richmond, KY

#13 May 20, 2011
U know women do the same to men....remember u r talking about People....
country girl

Perryville, AR

#14 May 25, 2011
old school wrote:
Real men do not abuse women. Real men respect their women. It makes me so angry to see a woman let a man abuse her. Not just physically but mentally also.

I would rather someone hit me than to call me names.
The thing is, I hit back. I would never allow this to happen.
I lived in an abusive home for seven years.. Did not know how to leave.. But found strength and left..
How do I help

London, KY

#15 May 26, 2011
I just found out that one of my friends was attacked again by her husband. She caught him cheating on her and he attacked her. She says she is filing for divorce this time, but I don't know how to support her when she says "He told me he didn't mean it." He never means it. This is not the first time he has physically abused her. There have been several times that this has happened and the mental abuse she suffers is constant. She won't go to her pastor for support, because "It would be embarrassing for both of them," is what she said. She won't go to the police because they won't touch him and she is afraid it will make it worse. I just don't want to see her fall back into his pattern of lies and abuse. I am not a counselor and I don't know what to say to someone in this situation, but I am very concerned about her!
Oh My

Irvine, KY

#16 May 26, 2011
How do I help wrote:
I just found out that one of my friends was attacked again by her husband. She caught him cheating on her and he attacked her. She says she is filing for divorce this time, but I don't know how to support her when she says "He told me he didn't mean it." He never means it. This is not the first time he has physically abused her. There have been several times that this has happened and the mental abuse she suffers is constant. She won't go to her pastor for support, because "It would be embarrassing for both of them," is what she said. She won't go to the police because they won't touch him and she is afraid it will make it worse. I just don't want to see her fall back into his pattern of lies and abuse. I am not a counselor and I don't know what to say to someone in this situation, but I am very concerned about her!
Domestic violence is no longer tolerated, the police will help her. Sounds like he will abuse her again, and again. Hope she gets out before something worse happens.
beaten badly

Somerset, KY

#17 Jun 19, 2011
sniper123 wrote:
LET NO MAN or WOMAN get a upper hand on you,remember you have the ability to take down the aggressor by using your god given talents,always remember to become on TOP you must sometimes lay down on bottom,this called LIVING TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY other than dieing today you will be putting evil away tomorrow,after a well planned attack.I HATE AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE.
you learn to kiss his ass to keep him off you and the kids.family will turn on you in a heartbeat, thats another reason women go back home...also some shelters make you wait till they can go out with youj.under the disguise of protecting you, you become yet another prisoner.....you have no healing time....we wear alot of scars..
beaten badly

Somerset, KY

#18 Jun 19, 2011
Oh My wrote:
<quoted text>
Domestic violence is no longer tolerated, the police will help her. Sounds like he will abuse her again, and again. Hope she gets out before something worse happens.
she needs to be relocated somewhere else away from him and the town she is in ...she needs help with a job and with safe child care...she doesnt know how to function without the violence..she is a woman who loves to much...she has to fix her and her problems she cannot ever fix him..he is not her problem..he is an adult that knows right from wrong and he can take care of himself....she needs GOD in her life first.if she gets scared or nervous she needs to call someone in her support group that will listen to her...she does not need to try and manage and control this man, CAUSE SHE IS WORKING ON TAKING CARE OF HERSELF...she has to learn to stop playing mind games with him.here is the name of a book all abused women need to read ITS CALLED WOMEN WHO LOVE TO MUCH BY ROBIN NORWOOD..IVE READ IT ONCE AND IM GONNA READ IT OVER AND OVER TILL IT CLICKS IN MY BRAIN....
How do I help

Toledo, OH

#19 Jun 20, 2011
beaten badly wrote:
<quoted text>she needs to be relocated somewhere else away from him and the town she is in ...she needs help with a job and with safe child care...she doesnt know how to function without the violence..she is a woman who loves to much...she has to fix her and her problems she cannot ever fix him..he is not her problem..he is an adult that knows right from wrong and he can take care of himself....she needs GOD in her life first.if she gets scared or nervous she needs to call someone in her support group that will listen to her...she does not need to try and manage and control this man, CAUSE SHE IS WORKING ON TAKING CARE OF HERSELF...she has to learn to stop playing mind games with him.here is the name of a book all abused women need to read ITS CALLED WOMEN WHO LOVE TO MUCH BY ROBIN NORWOOD..IVE READ IT ONCE AND IM GONNA READ IT OVER AND OVER TILL IT CLICKS IN MY BRAIN....
Thanks so much for all the info. We got her moved and she did file for divorce. He kept calling her 10-15 times a day and she wouldn't answer her phone. He kept procrastinating about signing the divorce papers. But he finally did. She walked away with nothing. She doesn't care. She just wants it to be over. I really believe her this time. Always before when he would attack her like some maniac she was back within a week saying he cried and said he was sorry. I was really afraid for my friend this time would be the same. I think she is going to stick to her guns this time. The day he attacked her, his picture was the cover of their church bulletin. She obtained one of those and made several copies. She said she finds peace using those copies for target practice. Whatever works, as long as she doesn't go back.
mamma

Mount Gilead, OH

#20 Jun 23, 2011
I am glad to read she left. I hope and pray she never goes back. She needs a real man one day in the future. Real men do not hit or abuse you. She will find happiness. I was abused many years ago. I have flashebacks about it sometimes. It is horrible. No one deserves to be abused. It gets better after you leave.
How do I help

United States

#21 Jun 24, 2011
Now I am really concerned for her in a different way. This was her second marriage. Her first husband broke her nose while beating her with a belt in the buckle end. Her second husband broke her foot by kicking her while she laid in the bathroom floor. She has had 2 really sorry husbands. Well, a guy nodded and said hello to her at a store today and she just freaked out. She thinks all men are like the men she married. I guess it made it worse for her today when she found out her husband called the judge and ask him not to let their divorce go through. I have asked her to go to counseling over this, but she just shrugs it off and says she never wants any man in her life but her sons and her dad. She still can't go screaming and yelling at total strangers just for being nice, just because it was a guy.

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