Santa claus

Detroit, MI

#1 Dec 16, 2010
what does everyone want for christmas
Ho ho ho

United States

#2 Dec 19, 2010
a man with working parts that takes batteries

Ashland, KY

#3 Nov 27, 2012
Twas The Night Before Christmas

(Texas Style)

'Twas the night before Christmas, in Texas, you know.
Way out on the prairie, without any snow.
Asleep in their cabin, were Buddy and Sue,
A dreamin' of Christmas, like me and you.

Not stockings, but boots, at the foot of their bed,
For this was Texas, what more need be said,
When all of a sudden, from out of the still night,
There came such a ruckus, it gave me a fright.

And I saw 'cross the prairie, like a shot from a gun,
A loaded up buckboard, come on at a run,
The driver was "Geein" and "Hawin", with a will,
The horses (not reindeer) he drove with such skill.

"Come on there Buck, Poncho, & Prince, to the right,
There'll be plenty of travelin' for you all tonight."
The driver in Levi's and a shirt that was red,
Had a ten-gallon Stetson on top of his head.

As he stepped from the buckboard, he was really a sight,
With his beard and moustache, so curly and white.
As he burst in the cabin, the children awoke,
And were so astonished, that neither one spoke.

And he filled up their boots with such presents galore,
That neither could think of a single thing more.
When Buddy recovered the use of his jaws,
He asked in a whisper, "Are you really Santa Claus?"

"Am I the real Santa? Well, what do you think?"
And he smiled as he gave a mysterious wink.
Then he leaped in his buckboard, and called back in his drawl,
"To all the children in Texas, Merry Christmas, You-all"
Jingle Bells

Ashland, KY

#4 Nov 30, 2012
A giant stocking full of fruitcakes!!!


Top Ten Uses For Fruitcake

10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.

9. Use instead of sand bags during El Nino.

8. Send to U.S. Air Force, let troops drop them.

7. Use as railroad ties.

6. Use as speed bumps to foil the neighborhood drag racers.

5. Collect ten and use them as bowling pins.

4. Use instead of cement shoes.

3. Save for next summer's garage sale.

2. Use slices in next skeet-shooting competition.

1. Two words: pin cushion.
Grumpy Old Man

Ashland, KY

#5 Dec 4, 2012
Only one thing keeps me from decking the halls with boughs of holly.

I think it obligates you to be jolly.

“Easy does it... ”

Since: Nov 12

Location hidden

#6 Dec 5, 2012
All I know is: That Money's tight,

Times are hard,

Here's your F-n' Christmas card!

Hee heee.. Ho, Ho and a VERY Merry Christmas!
Silent Night

Ashland, KY

#7 Dec 11, 2012
Love came down at Christmas,
Love all lovely, Love Divine;
Love was born at Christmas;
Star and angels gave the sign.

~Christina Rossetti

Ashland, KY

#8 Dec 20, 2012
Away in a Manger

Away in a manger
No crib for His bed
The little Lord Jesus
Laid down His sweet head
The stars in the bright sky
Looked down where He lay
The little Lord Jesus
Asleep on the hay

The cattle are lowing
The poor Baby wakes
But little Lord Jesus
No crying He makes
I love Thee, Lord Jesus
Look down from the sky
And stay by my side,
'Til morning is nigh.

Be near me, Lord Jesus
I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever
And love me I pray
Bless all the dear children
In Thy tender care
And take us to heaven
To live with Thee there

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