Nascar sucks.

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nascer

Myrtle Beach, SC

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#1
Sep 12, 2009
 

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Since when is NASCAR this huge trend? Since when are non-redneck, non-incestual, non-Bush voting assbags who smell like a monkey trapped in a Budweiser watching this horseshit? NASCAR is the most boring, mindless, pointless, needless, lessless waste of three hours since the direct-to-video Titanic 2: Oceans of Change.

First off, it's not a sport. Hey Cletus, do you hear me? Not a sport! Any jackoff can drive in a circle for three hours and not crash, especially since the only participants are white males. Where's the fun in that? Let's get Asians, old women with three kids in the car, 16-year-old girls driving Mustangs.... At least that would provide a challenge, and serve some entertainment value.

And furthermore, what possible athletic ability does it take to drive? At least in golf, you have to be able to swing a club and wear tight pants while walking 18 holes. What the hell do NASCAR drivers do? Do you have to work out in the off-season? Hell no. All you have to do is drive fast. Still, some people try to make the NASCAR drivers come off as great athletes. Who gives a rat's ass if a guy wins a race? That's not his victory. That's the car. Shower the car in milk.

Second, it's boring. Not quite Napoleon Dynamite-boring...

TANGENT ALERT!!! TANGENT ALERT!!!

What an overrated pile of shit that movie is. My God. Was anyone else rooting for that kid to get his head caught in a toaster? And why do people think it's funny? Because the kid said "Gosh"? That's what passes for comedy nowadays. You want a comedy that will really blow your skirt up? Rent Dirty Work. That's a fucking film.

TANGENT ALERT!!! TANGENT ALERT!!!

And back. NASCAR is so damned boring. Seriously, they drive in circles for three hours. How is this exciting? Can't they drag race down the Mass Pike? Or do donuts in front of Taco Bell? "Fast and the Furious" was an appalling, nearly unwatchable film steeped in homoeroticism, but it had a neat idea: street racing. I'd definitely watch some Mexican in a wifebeater and his $500 Civic, complete with $3,000 nitrous oxide exhaust careen into a wall. I'd pay good money for that.

Instead we get to watch a bunch of hicks drive stock cars around and around while an eight-person trailer family sits in the stands chugging beer and spending welfare dollars paid for by poor college students like yours truly.

And finally, my biggest problem with NASCAR is all those hockey haters claiming this redneck waste of time is going to replace hockey as a major sport. No chance. Hockey is fast-paced, fun, and requires athletic ability. NASCAR is a bunch of Southern shit, and the South is a waste of land and should be shipped to Mexico along with their Confederate flags and sister-boning. It's bad enough the South gave us Bush, now they are trying to shove NASCAR down our throats? Well not me. Fuck the South. You lost the Civil War. You are our bitch. We wanted you to be industrial, and we kicked your ass for having a smart mouth. Go sit in the corner you ugly, inbred assholes. And take your lame-ass "sport" with you.

Love,
The Blue States.

LMAO at nascer

Hickory, NC

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#2
Sep 12, 2009
 
You must've been pretty damn bored to sit there and write all this shit. You know, if you would have applied yourself in high school and gotten an academic or athletic scholarship; maybe, you wouldn't be so poor.

Hockey's better than it used to be. It was boring as hell before they changed the rules to speed the game up. Half the people who watch it just want to watch two idiots knock each others teeth out with a stick. Can you say, "rednecks"?
D Horne

King, NC

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#3
Sep 12, 2009
 

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Indy Car racing is EVEN MORE boring. Who thought this shit up? HUH?

Jesus, they put a damn 5,000 HP supercharged alcohol burning motor on a couple of pieces of aluminum framing, add wheels and a piece of shit fiberglass body and race for 500 miles at 200 mph around a 1/1/2 mile oval. What's the fun of that?

BORING, BORING To make it interesting they should get Dana Patrick and a bunch of good looking babes to drive those Indy Cars in the nude. I would pay to see that.
comment

Dunlap, TN

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#4
Sep 12, 2009
 

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nascer wrote:
Since when is NASCAR this huge trend? Since when are non-redneck, non-incestual, non-Bush voting assbags who smell like a monkey trapped in a Budweiser watching this horseshit? NASCAR is the most boring, mindless, pointless, needless, lessless waste of three hours since the direct-to-video Titanic 2: Oceans of Change.
First off, it's not a sport. Hey Cletus, do you hear me? Not a sport! Any jackoff can drive in a circle for three hours and not crash, especially since the only participants are white males. Where's the fun in that? Let's get Asians, old women with three kids in the car, 16-year-old girls driving Mustangs.... At least that would provide a challenge, and serve some entertainment value.
And furthermore, what possible athletic ability does it take to drive? At least in golf, you have to be able to swing a club and wear tight pants while walking 18 holes. What the hell do NASCAR drivers do? Do you have to work out in the off-season? Hell no. All you have to do is drive fast. Still, some people try to make the NASCAR drivers come off as great athletes. Who gives a rat's ass if a guy wins a race? That's not his victory. That's the car. Shower the car in milk.
Second, it's boring. Not quite Napoleon Dynamite-boring...
TANGENT ALERT!!! TANGENT ALERT!!!
What an overrated pile of shit that movie is. My God. Was anyone else rooting for that kid to get his head caught in a toaster? And why do people think it's funny? Because the kid said "Gosh"? That's what passes for comedy nowadays. You want a comedy that will really blow your skirt up? Rent Dirty Work. That's a fucking film.
TANGENT ALERT!!! TANGENT ALERT!!!
And back. NASCAR is so damned boring. Seriously, they drive in circles for three hours. How is this exciting? Can't they drag race down the Mass Pike? Or do donuts in front of Taco Bell? "Fast and the Furious" was an appalling, nearly unwatchable film steeped in homoeroticism, but it had a neat idea: street racing. I'd definitely watch some Mexican in a wifebeater and his $500 Civic, complete with $3,000 nitrous oxide exhaust careen into a wall. I'd pay good money for that.
Instead we get to watch a bunch of hicks drive stock cars around and around while an eight-person trailer family sits in the stands chugging beer and spending welfare dollars paid for by poor college students like yours truly.
And finally, my biggest problem with NASCAR is all those hockey haters claiming this redneck waste of time is going to replace hockey as a major sport. No chance. Hockey is fast-paced, fun, and requires athletic ability. NASCAR is a bunch of Southern shit, and the South is a waste of land and should be shipped to Mexico along with their Confederate flags and sister-boning. It's bad enough the South gave us Bush, now they are trying to shove NASCAR down our throats? Well not me. Fuck the South. You lost the Civil War. You are our bitch. We wanted you to be industrial, and we kicked your ass for having a smart mouth. Go sit in the corner you ugly, inbred assholes. And take your lame-ass "sport" with you.
Love,
The Blue States.
sounds like you caught your wife blowing a driver. that's your own fault for lacking manhood, you troll.
don't take it out on the whole sport because your wife goes down faster then the stock market, now move on, little man.
NYY

Myrtle Beach, SC

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#6
Sep 12, 2009
 

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It's called copy and paste you southern geniuses..
LMAO at nascer

Hickory, NC

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#7
Sep 12, 2009
 
Smile for the camera!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_TwAbZhMGVEw/SIeK1ff...

Check the mullet out...
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/47/156638409_8...

Quite the sophisticated "sport", eh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch...
LMAO at nascer - NYY

Hickory, NC

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#8
Sep 12, 2009
 
NYY wrote:
It's called copy and paste you southern geniuses..
I guess you are too damned stupid to write your own posts, eh? Or, do you have this saved on your computer for later "fact-finding" missions?

:)
LMAO at nascer - NYY

Hickory, NC

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#9
Sep 12, 2009
 
comment wrote:
<quoted text>
sounds like you caught your wife blowing a driver. that's your own fault for lacking manhood, you troll.
don't take it out on the whole sport because your wife goes down faster then the stock market, now move on, little man.
LMAO! Good one! ;)

Is Dunlap anywhere near Dickie Do, Tennessee? J/K :)
nascer

Myrtle Beach, SC

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#10
Sep 12, 2009
 
Wow, boring comebacks. I hear banjos..
LMAO at nascer - NYY

Hickory, NC

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#11
Sep 12, 2009
 
nascer wrote:
Wow, boring comebacks. I hear banjos..
At least I get to wake up every day, and enjoy the privileges of being a white man, here in the USA... unlike you.
See ya later, nascer - NYY - Life Coach... whichever split personality you happen to be right now. Do you ever have "ghost pains" where your little pinky toe used to be?
Native

United States

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#12
Sep 12, 2009
 

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Nascar used to be a fine sport till the yankees got in it.
Life Coach

AOL

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#13
Sep 12, 2009
 

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Give these Rebels a break
Other sports are too complicated for them to understand
Remember 911

Charlotte, NC

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#14
Sep 12, 2009
 

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I have to say LC after living here for a year and now moving back North, I consider you my favorite writer..kudos to you my friend.
Life Coach

AOL

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#16
Sep 13, 2009
 

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Remember 911 wrote:
I have to say LC after living here for a year and now moving back North, I consider you my favorite writer..kudos to you my friend.
Thank you. I try my best to educate these southern mongoloids
Remember 911

Charlotte, NC

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#17
Sep 13, 2009
 
LMAO
fancypants

United States

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#18
Sep 13, 2009
 

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Nascar, that was beautiful. Please share some more of your insight with us. LC, you may have just met your match. lol I am sure this man can keep you on your toes, or should I say toe.
FUBA

Myrtle Beach, SC

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#19
Sep 14, 2009
 

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LMAO at nascer - NYY wrote:
<quoted text>
At least I get to wake up every day, and enjoy the privileges of being a white man, here in the USA... unlike you.
See ya later, nascer - NYY - Life Coach... whichever split personality you happen to be right now. Do you ever have "ghost pains" where your little pinky toe used to be?
Yeah, Life Coach deserves an internet oscar.

For the jagoff I quoted.. in the immortal words of LC 'Go brush your tooth'
OldMan

Schenectady, NY

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#20
Oct 12, 2012
 

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First, there's nothing "stock" about stock cars, I'll wager that there isn't one component on any of those cars that came from the factory.

Second, I've tried to watch that sh*t, and it is utterly mind-numbing.

A few months ago I was visiting relatives. When I arrived, they were all crowded around the television watching the Foreskin 500 or something. After 20 minutes, I offered to make a beer run, do their laundery, paint the shutters...ANYTHING but sit there and watch those rednecks circle the track 414 more times! I left the house and wandered aimlessly around the neighborhood for about an hour. When I returned, I saw that not one of them had moved; they were in a kind of retarded suspended animation, completely mesmerized by the brightly-coloured cars moving in a giant circle.

I tried to start a conversation, but I was sharply "shushed". Apparently, watching stock car racing takes a great deal of concentration, at least it does if you have a sub-90 point IQ.

“Seeking reality & civilization”

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

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#21
Oct 13, 2012
 
OldMan wrote:
First, there's nothing "stock" about stock cars, I'll wager that there isn't one component on any of those cars that came from the factory.
Second, I've tried to watch that sh*t, and it is utterly mind-numbing.
A few months ago I was visiting relatives. When I arrived, they were all crowded around the television watching the Foreskin 500 or something. After 20 minutes, I offered to make a beer run, do their laundery, paint the shutters...ANYTHING but sit there and watch those rednecks circle the track 414 more times! I left the house and wandered aimlessly around the neighborhood for about an hour. When I returned, I saw that not one of them had moved; they were in a kind of retarded suspended animation, completely mesmerized by the brightly-coloured cars moving in a giant circle.
I tried to start a conversation, but I was sharply "shushed". Apparently, watching stock car racing takes a great deal of concentration, at least it does if you have a sub-90 point IQ.
PURE GENIUS OldMan. Just GENIUS. Summed it up PERFECTLY.
Thor Of Valhalla

Philadelphia, PA

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#23
Jan 9, 2013
 

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You forgot one more thing why NASCAR sucks. Those invocations. Not everybody is Christian.

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