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Abducted

Coffeyville, KS

#1 Jan 21, 2013
I know this is Topix and a lot of people on here are going to make fun of me, but I don't care.

I'm here to tell the truth.

Last night I was abducted by aliens...

I went to bed as normal, but woke up naked on top of the Arco building with slight rectal pains.

I want to know if anyone else in the area has had this happen to them.

I think it's time this town got serious about the problem. I called the Sheriff but he hung up on me.

We need to tackle this problem head on and be prepared for more alien abductions.

Please share your stories and don't let the press bury this news!!!
I See

Everett, WA

#2 Jan 22, 2013
Well, this is indeed interesting. Any of you law enforcement folks get any reports of little people? Seriously, if you were on top of the ARCO building with "slight" fur lined poop shoot problems, I seriously doubt you would be on Topix talking about it. If you were on top of that building then I suggest some form of security be placed there so you are not able to do that again.
mmmhmmm

Independence, KS

#3 Jan 22, 2013
Sounds like you want attention. Get a hobby man
klatu verada nikto

Jefferson City, MO

#4 Jan 22, 2013
Abducted wrote:
I know this is Topix and a lot of people on here are going to make fun of me, but I don't care.
I'm here to tell the truth.
Last night I was abducted by aliens...
I went to bed as normal, but woke up naked on top of the Arco building with slight rectal pains.
I want to know if anyone else in the area has had this happen to them.
I think it's time this town got serious about the problem. I called the Sheriff but he hung up on me.
We need to tackle this problem head on and be prepared for more alien abductions.
Please share your stories and don't let the press bury this news!!!
lay off the dope....dope !
Split

Wichita, KS

#5 Jan 22, 2013
And they brought you back? Kinda like spitting out somehing rotten.

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#6 Jan 22, 2013
hmmm So how far do you live from the Arco building? Cause Iím sure the cops would have taken you in for public indecency while walking naked back home. Sorry your story is not realistic.
James B Poindexter

Coffeyville, KS

#7 Jan 22, 2013
If aliens ever made it to Earth, our life would be as interesting as dishwater because if they had conquered the difficulties of interstellar travel something like a DNA quadruple-helix would be child's play.

Now, let's take for example the closest other star from our sun, Proxima Centauri. It would take 81,000 years in an ion propulsion rocket to get there. That's 2,700 human generations. Space travel, as you know, is an exceeding difficult problem to solve.

However, it was recently estimated that 1 in 6 stars in the Milky Way has Earth-like planets. Therefore, the aliens have 17 billion life-bearing planets to explore in this galaxy alone! Most likely, they would already know what a redneck's anus looks like and could probably clone one in a Petri plate if required.

And as we know the universe is 13.7 billion old but it cannot begin to produce life until it has matured by creating heavier elements in nuclear fusion explosions. Our own life was single-celled for the majority of Earth's existence. Multicellularity is a very recent development. Our DNA is only a six foot thread of genetic code. The aliens would know this because the creation of life is inevitable and follows predictable time tables just as the life cycle of the cosmos does.

lordy

Independence, KS

#8 Jan 22, 2013
Abducted wrote:
I know this is Topix and a lot of people on here are going to make fun of me, but I don't care.
I'm here to tell the truth.
Last night I was abducted by aliens...
I went to bed as normal, but woke up naked on top of the Arco building with slight rectal pains.
I want to know if anyone else in the area has had this happen to them.
I think it's time this town got serious about the problem. I called the Sheriff but he hung up on me.
We need to tackle this problem head on and be prepared for more alien abductions.
Please share your stories and don't let the press bury this news!!!
I would suggest you seek help, but somehow I bet the help has allready seeked you out!
Han Solo

Independence, KS

#9 Jan 22, 2013
Abducted wrote:
I know this is Topix and a lot of people on here are going to make fun of me, but I don't care.
I'm here to tell the truth.
Last night I was abducted by aliens...
I went to bed as normal, but woke up naked on top of the Arco building with slight rectal pains.
I want to know if anyone else in the area has had this happen to them.
I think it's time this town got serious about the problem. I called the Sheriff but he hung up on me.
We need to tackle this problem head on and be prepared for more alien abductions.
Please share your stories and don't let the press bury this news!!!
Haven't you ever heard of the "date rape" drug? Sorry about the rectal pains ...
Capt Kirk

Altamont, KS

#10 Jan 22, 2013
I have been telling people for years about this.Something has to be done! For all us that have been probed we know this is a big problem.It is also a messy problem.

On the other hand I kinda wish they would abduct me again.
Midnight Rider

Ballwin, MO

#11 Jan 22, 2013
It doesnt surprise me that Independence is an area of alien action. I have seen some strange people here. Aliens explains it all.
Abducted

Coffeyville, KS

#12 Jan 22, 2013
Chucknorrisson wrote:
hmmm So how far do you live from the Arco building? Cause Iím sure the cops would have taken you in for public indecency while walking naked back home. Sorry your story is not realistic.
After I woke up on top of the Arco Building, shivering, naked and with rectal pains I was able to get into the building and I found a pair of dirty coveralls in a room under maintenance.

I live in Coffeyville and luckily was able to call a friend and get a ride back.

I had a flashback of the abduction this morning.... I distinctly remember the aliens had huge black eyes and a greenish-gray skin. They also appeared to have equipment way more advanced than our modern day iPhones and iPads.
Han Solo

Independence, KS

#13 Jan 22, 2013
Abducted wrote:
<quoted text>
After I woke up on top of the Arco Building, shivering, naked and with rectal pains I was able to get into the building and I found a pair of dirty coveralls in a room under maintenance.
I live in Coffeyville and luckily was able to call a friend and get a ride back.
I had a flashback of the abduction this morning.... I distinctly remember the aliens had huge black eyes and a greenish-gray skin. They also appeared to have equipment way more advanced than our modern day iPhones and iPads.
You're a liar. After I had my way with you, I left you in your clothes, and by the way I have blue eyes and a surfer tan.

Since: Nov 12

Location hidden

#14 Jan 22, 2013
Han Solo wrote:
<quoted text>
You're a liar. After I had my way with you, I left you in your clothes, and by the way I have blue eyes and a surfer tan.
how tall are u ? lets hook up, I will play dead or "alliens" watever ur into lol
wow

Chanute, KS

#15 Jan 22, 2013
Maybe you need some help from 4-County. Lol.
Cindy

Independence, KS

#16 Jan 22, 2013
Midnight Rider wrote:
It doesnt surprise me that Independence is an area of alien action. I have seen some strange people here. Aliens explains it all.
Aliens would probably be smarter.
you rock

Wichita, KS

#17 Jan 22, 2013
I needed a good laugh. This thread is awesome!!!!
helpful

Independence, KS

#18 Jan 22, 2013
Abducted wrote:
I know this is Topix and a lot of people on here are going to make fun of me, but I don't care.
I'm here to tell the truth.
Last night I was abducted by aliens...
I went to bed as normal, but woke up naked on top of the Arco building with slight rectal pains.
I want to know if anyone else in the area has had this happen to them.
I think it's time this town got serious about the problem. I called the Sheriff but he hung up on me.
We need to tackle this problem head on and be prepared for more alien abductions.
Please share your stories and don't let the press bury this news!!!
Next time ask the aliens to use Vaseline or KY.
Abducted

Coffeyville, KS

#19 Jan 22, 2013
I'm getting ready to go to sleep. This time I have left a video camera running. I'll keep you posted in case the aliens return.
Zig norf olybut

Independence, KS

#20 Jan 23, 2013
We are sorry for the anal pain. We did not mean to cause you discomfort. Please understand that our probes are huge and long. As you know your pet bird now sings a bit different sorry our fault.
Please do not be afraid we will not enter your anus again.

Signed
ET

PS whatever_28 please phone home

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