First Prev
of 4
Next Last
muffler

Schuylkill Haven, PA

#1 Sep 1, 2010
When sitting,do you bend to the left or bend to the right to fart? Have done my own study and I can fart only bending to the right.
Gasser

Syracuse, NY

#2 Sep 1, 2010
Bend to the left and sometimes raise the right cheek with my right hand for a bigger effect!
ripe

Schuylkill Haven, PA

#3 Sep 1, 2010
i lean AWAY from people, i'm very polite
Toxic Farter

AOL

#4 Sep 2, 2010
I bend to the right so the gas always goes to the left.
Herkimer Haiku

Rochester, NY

#5 Sep 3, 2010
pull my legs straight up
then I will use my lighter
great flame thrower trick
morning blaster

New York, NY

#6 Sep 3, 2010
I love my morning farts best! They are long & LOUD and rumble just right.
Herkimer Haiku

Rochester, NY

#7 Sep 5, 2010
Morning Dutch Oven
after Utica Cream Ale
and clams and chili
Tutanloudem

Myrtle Beach, SC

#8 Sep 5, 2010
church was always best, off the wooden pews and the echo qualities, and then turn around quick at the guy next to you and stare him down
dan4790

United States

#9 Sep 6, 2010
are farts supposed to have lumps? dammit i just shit myself
Girls dont fart

United States

#10 Sep 7, 2010
We can't talk farting
dan4790

Elizabeth, NJ

#11 Sep 7, 2010
Tutanloudem wrote:
church was always best, off the wooden pews and the echo qualities, and then turn around quick at the guy next to you and stare him down
the more i read that, the funnier it gets
Gasser

Syracuse, NY

#12 Sep 8, 2010
dan4790 wrote:
<quoted text>the more i read that, the funnier it gets
Oh yeah. A couple of weeks ago, a kid was sitting behind me in church and he should have test farted first but he didn't and let 'er rip. Man was it loud and funny as a bastard. The damn sound wave blew my hair forward. Thankfully it didn't stink.[remember: he who farts in church, sits in pew]

anyhow, I end up getting in trouble because I couldn't stop laughing and my mother is staring me down.
dan4790

Arlington, VA

#13 Sep 8, 2010
Gasser wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh yeah. A couple of weeks ago, a kid was sitting behind me in church and he should have test farted first but he didn't and let 'er rip. Man was it loud and funny as a bastard. The damn sound wave blew my hair forward. Thankfully it didn't stink.[remember: he who farts in church, sits in pew]
anyhow, I end up getting in trouble because I couldn't stop laughing and my mother is staring me down.
thanks... you have just made my day with that one.that kid behind is the man. you just know his mom gave him hell about it too.
Son

New York, NY

#14 Sep 9, 2010
I Farted in a pringles can & put the lid on it & then told my mom the chips smelled funny. Then she took the lid off & she took a big whiff. oh yeah that was a good one!!
dan4790

Brooklyn, NY

#15 Sep 9, 2010
Son wrote:
I Farted in a pringles can & put the lid on it & then told my mom the chips smelled funny. Then she took the lid off & she took a big whiff. oh yeah that was a good one!!
classic... funny and disgusting all at once
Gassers Friend

Syracuse, NY

#16 Sep 10, 2010
Gasser wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh yeah. A couple of weeks ago, a kid was sitting behind me in church and he should have test farted first but he didn't and let 'er rip. Man was it loud and funny as a bastard. The damn sound wave blew my hair forward. Thankfully it didn't stink.[remember: he who farts in church, sits in pew]
anyhow, I end up getting in trouble because I couldn't stop laughing and my mother is staring me down.
One to talk here...Mr. Gasser & I were on a conference call at work this week. He comes over and shits on me. Don't ask me how the guy on the other end didn't hear it. However, it stunk. I proceded to tell him him he fuckin' stinks - forgetting I'm on speakerphone. Then he starts in with the Febreeze. Between the spray, the stench of his anal air and trying to be professional and not laugh, I'm choking at this point. Another guy in the office is trying to be quiet as he's wiping tears from his eyes and red face.
Still, through all this the guy on the other end we can only suspect he didn't pick up on any of this. I dare him to do it during a teleconference!
Another story about "Gasser"...while taking a college course this past Spring we are sitting next to each other in a lecture. He lifts his cheek toward me and lets it rip. No one but me hears it. I start laughing, he does not. Professor stops the class and asks me what's so funny. I said "you don't want to know". Gasser says, "I don't know why he's laughing" - shrugging his shoulders. Fucker!
sgt schitsky

Glens Falls, NY

#17 Sep 10, 2010
Son wrote:
I Farted in a pringles can & put the lid on it & then told my mom the chips smelled funny. Then she took the lid off & she took a big whiff. oh yeah that was a good one!!
ahhh haaa haaa...thats a good one im gonna do that tonight!
dan4790

United States

#18 Sep 10, 2010
Gassers Friend wrote:
<quoted text>
One to talk here...Mr. Gasser & I were on a conference call at work this week. He comes over and shits on me. Don't ask me how the guy on the other end didn't hear it. However, it stunk. I proceded to tell him him he fuckin' stinks - forgetting I'm on speakerphone. Then he starts in with the Febreeze. Between the spray, the stench of his anal air and trying to be professional and not laugh, I'm choking at this point. Another guy in the office is trying to be quiet as he's wiping tears from his eyes and red face.
Still, through all this the guy on the other end we can only suspect he didn't pick up on any of this. I dare him to do it during a teleconference!
Another story about "Gasser"...while taking a college course this past Spring we are sitting next to each other in a lecture. He lifts his cheek toward me and lets it rip. No one but me hears it. I start laughing, he does not. Professor stops the class and asks me what's so funny. I said "you don't want to know". Gasser says, "I don't know why he's laughing" - shrugging his shoulders. Fucker!
that dirty bastard. i had to stop 3 times and wipe the tears from my eyes....laughing so hard. " i don't know why he's laughing" dirty bastard. he owes you a beer for that one
andet1987

Meridian, ID

#19 Sep 10, 2010
Herkimer Haiku wrote:
pull my legs straight up
then I will use my lighter
great flame thrower trick
please be careful
Tutanloudem

Myrtle Beach, SC

#20 Sep 10, 2010
Another trick was.....remember the old vacuums, I think they were electrolux, had slides much like a snow sled and the exhaust port was on the back of the machine, whole machine looked like a torpedo.....anyways, you could take the machine and point the exhaust port towards another room and be 8' from the scene...touch off an ass biscuit with the machine running and the hose near your ass....clean a room out quick...

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 4
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Ilion Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
They covered it up! 5 min Unbelievable 1
West Main St: A new dump 33 min Dear Jackass Twits 35
Hey SlobSmith, where you at? 54 min SlobSmith 19
Review: ALDI (Sep '11) 5 hr OKIE DOKE 38
ape man last seen on rt 51 early sunday (Oct '14) 22 hr OKIE DOKE 60
Kathy Rivera Kiki Sun Neighbors 4
Umwa 717 Jul 21 Concerned 5

Ilion Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Ilion Mortgages