what is the respected waiting time to...

“Gods Curse On Lazy Hillbillies”

Since: Jun 12

Dale City, VA

#241 Feb 23, 2013
respect wrote:
Just wanted your opinion
Twoyearssixmonthsthreeweeksfiv edaysninehoursfiftyoneminutese ighteensconds......

And No Sooner....
Skunk holler bill

Troy, VA

#242 Feb 23, 2013
How many times do I have to tell you. As soon as you verify he is dead get those SMOKIN hot drawyers of and get with it. Don't let it mildew.
Ho no mo

Troy, VA

#243 Feb 24, 2013
Rachel wrote:
<quoted text>
I totally agree! My father passed away 4 months ago and my mom chose this Sunday at my sons birthday party to tell us that she had started dating someone. She found him on an internet dating site. It is wrong enough to thing about dating so soon, but to actively seek it out is ridiculously wrong! She has always been selfish, but this was the ultimate betrayal. My dad took care of her for 35 years. She never worked and did whatever she wanted. I don't think I can ever forgive her for this.
I hope he doesn't end up beating the s*** outta her. You have heard about the net dating stories haven't you? Hope he doesn't know Chester?
Phil

Troy, VA

#244 Feb 24, 2013
Don't set your seat covers on fire. Get those smokin how drawyers off and get with it before someone calls the FD.
scarlett

Parsippany, NJ

#245 Mar 26, 2013
hmmmm wrote:
the next day.......?
it's all about when you're ready
What happens when you are there for the viewing and the spouse asks you to stay over night?
Tylerb

Manchester, GA

#246 May 6, 2013
I'm 32 and my wife died a little over a month ago. She was my best friend, my lover, my wife, and many other things. We had an awesome relationship, and she always wanted me to b happy. I feel like she would want me to be happy, and in the same breath I believe she is happy because she is in the BEST place. She is looking down on me and I just want to live in a way to honor her. I've never been through this and I'm lonely. I miss lying next to a warm body in bed. I miss kissing and laughing. I want to be happy. I hear what the young lady is saying in the entry above and do not want to hurt her family. I love them as we'll and want them to be my family forever. I'm just confused.....
How about 1 month

Alsip, IL

#247 May 7, 2013
PAUHG9 wrote:
<quoted text>
First of everyone has opinions. My opinion however, is stated from an actual situation that you have not gone through. Lucky for you, you have both of your parents. I am not saying she should never date again but she has to realize she is not the only person suffering.(I could have delt with it if she waited a respectable time)Im still in morning and just when I was not crying myself to sleep every night she springs this on me.(Oh yeah by the way this happens when you lose a parent, I know you haven't gone through that grieving process to fully understand. Having an opinion and feelings does not make someone a selfish spoiled brat. I hope you never have to walk in my shoes for your childrens sake. Obviously their opinions and feelings would not matter to you. Hmmm... that sounds kind of selfish to me. By the way your commenting on this forum for what reason.( you cant relate)
Well, I have gone through it and I still think your attitude is a little harsh. Six months is a decent amount of time. Especially if your father was sick for awhile before he passed. You really are punishing yourself as well as your mother by excommunicating her. Sit down and ask the questions that you think you know the answers to.
My mother was sick with lung cancer for a year. My father posted a Match.com ad 1 month after my mother's death. Unfortunately, I was not surprised. My opinion is that he can't be alone. He feels he lost my mom after she underwent radiation (to the brain) the first time. I'm a little irritated with how quickly he is trying to move on because like someone else said, I think he is in a very vulnerable state so soon after my mom's passing. He needs to figure out who he is again, and be comfortable with that before meeting someone that will change him. I am 29, my father is 65. I also feel that he will attract younger women who need his checkbook more than anything else... I've heard horror stories of adult children losing their inheritance when their elderly father gets swindled by a new woman. If your mom has found a nice man. Be thankful for that!!!
sarahdear

Sapulpa, OK

#248 May 13, 2013
I have a friend that started dating a man within 24 hours of her funeral. Am I wrong to be upset about this? I am afraid my friend will be the "slut" that people will say was probably sleeping with him while his wife was on her death bed. I'm afraid she will be the bad guy in this situation when it was the widower that actually approached her.
Been there

Claremore, OK

#249 May 14, 2013
I have unfortunately been in your situation, & was hurt when my mother started dating after 3 years! It was too son for me & I dont like now, I have found myself in this same situation. I loved my husband dearly, & it has nothing to do with how I felt for him, my children have other things/people in their lives. Does this mean I say depressed & lonely until THEY feel its ok for ME to go on? What if they never want this? We are all in grief counseling & I would recommend it to anyone going through these situations.
PAUHG9 wrote:
<quoted text>
First of everyone has opinions. My opinion however, is stated from an actual situation that you have not gone through. Lucky for you, you have both of your parents. I am not saying she should never date again but she has to realize she is not the only person suffering.(I could have delt with it if she waited a respectable time)Im still in morning and just when I was not crying myself to sleep every night she springs this on me.(Oh yeah by the way this happens when you lose a parent, I know you haven't gone through that grieving process to fully understand. Having an opinion and feelings does not make someone a selfish spoiled brat. I hope you never have to walk in my shoes for your childrens sake. Obviously their opinions and feelings would not matter to you. Hmmm... that sounds kind of selfish to me. By the way your commenting on this forum for what reason.( you cant relate)
Walt

Charlottesville, VA

#250 May 14, 2013
As soon as the casket is lowered into the grave get out of sight and get those smoking painties off and get on with life.
Walt

Charlottesville, VA

#251 May 14, 2013
Tylerb wrote:
I'm 32 and my wife died a little over a month ago. She was my best friend, my lover, my wife, and many other things. We had an awesome relationship, and she always wanted me to b happy. I feel like she would want me to be happy, and in the same breath I believe she is happy because she is in the BEST place. She is looking down on me and I just want to live in a way to honor her. I've never been through this and I'm lonely. I miss lying next to a warm body in bed. I miss kissing and laughing. I want to be happy. I hear what the young lady is saying in the entry above and do not want to hurt her family. I love them as we'll and want them to be my family forever. I'm just confused.....
Find yourself a crack ho and get with it. Now you can get wild.
recent widow

Little Rock, AR

#252 May 15, 2013
I read the above,it is hard to let go but now I have to think about me and this is happening now.Life is too short to isolate one self and I take one day at a time.
That is good enough for me.
TylerB

Columbus, GA

#253 May 15, 2013
recent widow wrote:
I read the above,it is hard to let go but now I have to think about me and this is happening now.Life is too short to isolate one self and I take one day at a time.
That is good enough for me.
I am actually in recovery. I have been for years now. I think living one day at a time is crucial in time of tragedy. When I decided to get clean a few years ago, I had no idea how to live, so I joined a fellowship of people who I could identify with and learn from. This too (losing my wife) is something I've never been through, so I feel like I should search out people with experience in this particular situation. People who have lived through it and become better people because of it. So I ask. How do u do it?
Willd Bill

Charlottesville, VA

#254 May 17, 2013
scarlett wrote:
<quoted text>
What happens when you are there for the viewing and the spouse asks you to stay over night?
Finally! A winner.
Bill

Charlottesville, VA

#255 May 17, 2013
recent widow wrote:
I read the above,it is hard to let go but now I have to think about me and this is happening now.Life is too short to isolate one self and I take one day at a time.
That is good enough for me.
Lube it up and GO.
JustMe

Jacksonville, FL

#256 Jun 3, 2013
PAUHG9, I have walked in both of your shoes and you are being selfish. There is no way you can know how your Mother feels and if you really cared about her the way you say you did you would be supporting her not judging her. You need to get your head out of your butt.
SPCSpouse

Worcester, MA

#257 Jul 1, 2013
you have no respect wrote:
<quoted text>
Your mother may have been your best friend but she never had a best friend in you from your answer. Your mother is a real person too with real feelings. You are a disrespectful, spoiled BRAT for feeling like you have the right to intervene in her PERSONAL life. What gives you the right to decide the appropriate way for her to act? I am in my fourties and have been married since 17. I DARE my children to tell me how to live if something happens to their father. I also love both my parents and although I know it would be hard to see them with someone else I would never wish them to be lonely in the time they have left. GROW UP and love your Mother because one day your "best friend" will be gone as well and you will be sorry.
Well said! I am 45 yr old with 4 kids and my wife of 18 years recently died from cancer. I was the caregiver for a 9 year battle while having a full time career, kids to watch after and a home to take care of. Most people only consider the time immediately following the passing of a loved one as the grieving time and have no clue what occurs leading up to that. The feeling of grief and loss begins way before the actual passing in cases like that and usually the children know this if they are part of the picture. It seems the person who wrote the comment about never wanting to forgive their mother again was never really a good friend or understood what she may have gone through - it doesn't mean you love or miss your spouse any less!
13 posts removed
Joyce T

Huntsville, AL

#271 Jul 27, 2013
There is no 1 correct answer to this situation. My soul mate and husband passed away 2 months ago. We were together for 32 blissful years. He had stage 4 cancer and suffered needlessly for 1 year prior to his death. I began grieving losing him over 1 year ago. So what are everyone's thoughts as to what a respectable grieving period is for me? And, what calendar date do you put on the beginning of my grieving period? May 2012 (when my actual grieving period began) or May 2013 (when he passed away)?

I understand the grown daughter grieving the loss of her father. I have been there and done that as well. Grief is different for each person as is the grieving period. The mother is the person living all alone with no one to hold and nurture her. The daughter feels lost without her father. Two very different types of grief. There is no harder loss that than of a spouse. The daughter will learn the difference some day. For now, be a loving and kind daughter to your mother and accept her for what she is. She accepts you as you are. She did not "replace" your father with her new husband. This she understands. Do you?
Zaney

Hansford, WV

#272 Jul 27, 2013
Grief is a part of the healing, but I think sometimes people jump into relationships because of loneliness and make mistakes. It depends on the person, how much they really cared for their spouse. In time we all have to heal from losing a love one. I just think person should take time to think clearly before setting into any other relationship. It would raise eyebrows to someone going directly into a relationship very soon after the death of the spouse. people and friends would be questioning the decision as to just what is going on with that person. You know how people like to gossip, well this always sparks a flame.
3 posts removed
Joyce

Huntsville, AL

#276 Jul 29, 2013
Tylerb wrote:
I'm 32 and my wife died a little over a month ago. She was my best friend, my lover, my wife, and many other things. We had an awesome relationship, and she always wanted me to b happy. I feel like she would want me to be happy, and in the same breath I believe she is happy because she is in the BEST place. She is looking down on me and I just want to live in a way to honor her. I've never been through this and I'm lonely. I miss lying next to a warm body in bed. I miss kissing and laughing. I want to be happy. I hear what the young lady is saying in the entry above and do not want to hurt her family. I love them as we'll and want them to be my family forever. I'm just confused.....
The best explanation I found for what you and I are suffering was from a female Funeral Director who has gone through this herself: We miss the "warmth" of our soul mates and are terribly lonely. However, we must realize we are grieving and not thinking clearly. Should we delve into another relationship at this point it will not turn out well for either us or the unforunate person we are with due to the fact that we simply are not ready. The best we can do for ourselves at this point is to be with and around people we know and love and take things a day at a time. And, we are not to make any major decisions for 1 year after our soul mates passed away. I am right there with you at this point in our lives. May God bless and keep you.

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