Leslie County Citizens Turn a Blind E...

Leslie County Citizens Turn a Blind Eye and Call Themselves Good-hearted

Posted in the Hyden Forum

Since: Jan 13

Norwood, NC

#1 Jan 24, 2013
Why is it accepted by so many Leslie County residents to turn a blind eye when a man beats his girlfriend, wife or child even though you see the bruises and sad faces? Why is it that neighbors will even treat the abused person with disdain and shun them instead of giving a helping hand or kind word, or contacting social services on their behalf? Why do you citizenry condone abuse? Why is it okay that you let a child go hungry, live in fear, and suffer? What is it about your social structure that this is seen as okay and even seen as your being neighborly?
usually

Hyden, KY

#2 Jan 25, 2013
its because the man has family who is friends with all the judges and law. let someone whos family has no pull with anyone so much as jaywalk and theyll be in lcdc under a 10000 bond. it just depends on who you know around here as to what you can get by with
when a

Hyden, KY

#3 Jan 25, 2013
See You For Who You Are wrote:
Why is it accepted by so many Leslie County residents to turn a blind eye when a man beats his girlfriend, wife or child even though you see the bruises and sad faces? Why is it that neighbors will even treat the abused person with disdain and shun them instead of giving a helping hand or kind word, or contacting social services on their behalf? Why do you citizenry condone abuse? Why is it okay that you let a child go hungry, live in fear, and suffer? What is it about your social structure that this is seen as okay and even seen as your being neighborly?
Woman is beaten, her first and foremost responsibility is to get away from the man who beat her-permanently. To get an EPO and press charges. To get away from the man and stay away from him, not go back so he can do it again. To arm herself so if he tries to come around anyway she can take care of the situation, permanently. If she is unwilling to do these things then no one can help her. As for children being beaten, there is no excuse for a woman to stand by and allow a man to do that and to allow him to live. There are social services to deal with these situations. It is the responsibility of citizens to report any situations involving children that they know of to the correct social or law enforcement agency.
good person

Hyden, KY

#4 Jan 27, 2013
usually wrote:
its because the man has family who is friends with all the judges and law. let someone whos family has no pull with anyone so much as jaywalk and theyll be in lcdc under a 10000 bond. it just depends on who you know around here as to what you can get by with
amen to that
AgReeD

Hyden, KY

#5 Jan 27, 2013
when a wrote:
<quoted text>
Woman is beaten, her first and foremost responsibility is to get away from the man who beat her-permanently. To get an EPO and press charges. To get away from the man and stay away from him, not go back so he can do it again. To arm herself so if he tries to come around anyway she can take care of the situation, permanently. If she is unwilling to do these things then no one can help her. As for children being beaten, there is no excuse for a woman to stand by and allow a man to do that and to allow him to live. There are social services to deal with these situations. It is the responsibility of citizens to report any situations involving children that they know of to the correct social or law enforcement agency.
Bravo for this response. You hit the nail on the head 100%
understand

United States

#6 Feb 2, 2013
a woman cannot always get out of the situation its hard noone wants to let you stay with them cuz they dont wanna get involved as for the children something should be done like right away but as for the woman unless you been there you dont no ...i have
there is

Hyden, KY

#7 Feb 2, 2013
understand wrote:
a woman cannot always get out of the situation its hard noone wants to let you stay with them cuz they dont wanna get involved as for the children something should be done like right away but as for the woman unless you been there you dont no ...i have
no reason for a woman to have to find soemone to "stay with". Any woman with a brain in her head should know that you cannot depend on a man. You should NEVER depend on a man. He could turn out to be a monster who beats you. EVERY woman should have education or job skills that are adequate for her to get a JOB and support herself and her children. If you are looking for a man, or anyone else, to keep you up, then you are always going to be at the mercy, and under the control, of others. Take control of your own life. In order to do that, you must be able to be self supporting.
if there

Hyden, KY

#8 Feb 2, 2013
is something I cannot stand, it is people who are always "staying" with others and trying to find someone to move in on. If there is anything I cannot stand it is a user and a moocher. Some women have made the "poor little me" act their life work. Women like that make me puke.
understand

United States

#9 Feb 2, 2013
were you gonna go when you want to leave and have no family money or car since you no it all? i saved money on the side it took awhile but i did it now call me nuts and clueless you are the ones that are nuts and clueless youve never walked in there shoes
there are

Hyden, KY

#10 Feb 2, 2013
understand wrote:
were you gonna go when you want to leave and have no family money or car since you no it all? i saved money on the side it took awhile but i did it now call me nuts and clueless you are the ones that are nuts and clueless youve never walked in there shoes
There are
abuse shelters for women. I believe there is one in London and perhaps even one in Hazard. These places have access to information about programs that help women to get on their feet and become independent. I have never been a victim of domestic abuse. And I never will. Because I can tell you one thing. If a man-or anyone else-ever hits me, they better kill me with the first blow, because when I get up, and I will, only one of us will be left standing. I have no scruples about defending myself, any way I have to. If you are in a situation that is that bad, you get out of it-any way you have to. Learn to get creative. Any anyway, how would you get yourself in a situation where you have "no car and no money"? Did you not realize he was abusive before you married him? People treat you how you ALLOW them to treat you.
understand

United States

#11 Feb 2, 2013
he was the best man in the world till we got married then he changed in a matter of 6 months but i handeled it my way i didnt go to a shelter a tried to stay on his good side and saved my money and got a car a job i had but i did it by myself and didnt need no help but some out there do cuz the man threatens them if they leave he will kill them its a scary place to be in and you are to affriad to do to much you scared to rock the boat cuz it might cause another beating
understand

United States

#12 Feb 2, 2013
basically its easier said then done if youve never been in this situation trust a woman whos been there
i have

Hyden, KY

#13 Feb 2, 2013
understand wrote:
basically its easier said then done if youve never been in this situation trust a woman whos been there
met several women over the years whose husbands abused them. I always wondered why they stayed. Come to think of it, each and every one of them worked, and could support themselves. It doesn't make sense. I have wondered if men who are abusive have a sort of sixth sense about the women they choose. Maybe, either consciously or unconsiously, they deliberately pick women they think will stay and take it. I applaude you for getting out of it.
you poor people

Hyden, KY

#14 Feb 2, 2013
Well just WHO is this suppose to be about? I'll tell you what makes me puke, is when people try and act like they know other ppl's business when in reality they have no earthly clue what goes on. They never been in other ppls situations before but yet they are bound and determined to pretend they have the anwser for it all. Let's not forget how they make a mountain out of a mole hill. buahaha Leslie County. Go Figure!

Since: Jan 13

Charlotte, NC

#15 Feb 3, 2013
Understand gets it. She knows that solutions are not that simple. Every one of us women feel fierce about protecting our children. We would sacrifice our own lives for theirs. Sometimes, that sacrifice is taking the abuse so he doesn't take it out on the kids. She hopes she can take it long enough that the kids get grown and out on their own or can protect themselves. Maybe she was raised to be obedient, most traditionally Christian households are like that and, in general, don't most young girls get taught to be pretty, be nice, and that their destiny is to be a mother and to be ready for a man to come into her life. Being a good wife and mother is what life is about. Her parents had no idea the good-natured young man courting their daughter and made them feel better that he was protective of her, was actually controlling and would eventually isolate her away from family and friends. He treats her badly telling her she's not the good wife her parents raised her to be. I'm sure y'all know the story, but some of you just want to be judgmental and some of you are judgmental based on lack of experience. Some of you speak of telling a woman to go to a shelter or seek protective services of some sort and you very well know that such a thing is miles away. Is there a vehicle for her to use, gasoline for it, or will the place take her or just give her advice and send her away? Away where? Can she get home in time so he won't know she tried to help herself and the kids? Maybe she gets home too late and he accuses her of all kinds of terrible things. She hurries the kids into a bedroom and tells them to be quiet. And she faces him while he berates and hits her. Nothing she says or could say to him will make him stop or understand that she doesn't deserve his abusive actions. So I ask you this Leslie County Citizens, will you drive her where she can get help? Will you shelter her overnight until someone she trusts can come for her? Will you call the law when you see her standing before you, beaten, scared, crying?

Since: Jan 13

Charlotte, NC

#16 Feb 3, 2013
"Understand", I realized after I posted that it may seem I am identifying "she" as you when I begin the story. I apologize. I should have started the story differently. By the way, I am glad you were able to get out of your situation. You are right that not all women are the same, some are not emotionally strong, or her abuser has convinced her she's not any good and no one would like or want her around anyway. Her own father may have started that mental "training", perception of herself.
excuse me

Hyden, KY

#17 Feb 3, 2013
See You For Who You Are wrote:
Understand gets it. She knows that solutions are not that simple. Every one of us women feel fierce about protecting our children. We would sacrifice our own lives for theirs. Sometimes, that sacrifice is taking the abuse so he doesn't take it out on the kids. She hopes she can take it long enough that the kids get grown and out on their own or can protect themselves. Maybe she was raised to be obedient, most traditionally Christian households are like that and, in general, don't most young girls get taught to be pretty, be nice, and that their destiny is to be a mother and to be ready for a man to come into her life. Being a good wife and mother is what life is about. Her parents had no idea the good-natured young man courting their daughter and made them feel better that he was protective of her, was actually controlling and would eventually isolate her away from family and friends. He treats her badly telling her she's not the good wife her parents raised her to be. I'm sure y'all know the story, but some of you just want to be judgmental and some of you are judgmental based on lack of experience. Some of you speak of telling a woman to go to a shelter or seek protective services of some sort and you very well know that such a thing is miles away. Is there a vehicle for her to use, gasoline for it, or will the place take her or just give her advice and send her away? Away where? Can she get home in time so he won't know she tried to help herself and the kids? Maybe she gets home too late and he accuses her of all kinds of terrible things. She hurries the kids into a bedroom and tells them to be quiet. And she faces him while he berates and hits her. Nothing she says or could say to him will make him stop or understand that she doesn't deserve his abusive actions. So I ask you this Leslie County Citizens, will you drive her where she can get help? Will you shelter her overnight until someone she trusts can come for her? Will you call the law when you see her standing before you, beaten, scared, crying?
taught to be "pretty and nice and their destiny is for a man to come into their life"? Excuse me? Someone has taught you a boat load of crap, sister. And it ain't got a thing to do with being a Christian, either. God never expected you to be trampled on, by anyone, man or woman. You should have been taught that you are unique and special, that you have the strength and the brains to suceed in life at whatever you do, and that you are a princess in God's courts. Not a doormat and a punching bag. I grew up in church too, and somehow I must have missed the sermon you heard. I am sorry for whatever abuse you suffered at the hands of some man. But as long as you have the mindset that you do, it may very well continue. It is not your fault that you were abused, but I will venture to say that you stayed in it for as long as it continued. That was a choice you made. If someone is beating you up, you can kill them in self defense. That is exactly what I would do. Is it wrong to kill someone in that situation? No more than it is wrong for a soldier to kill in battle. It's a matter of survival. I hope you did not raise children in that atmosphere.

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