See, thats the thing with following self-centered and self-absorbed lifestyle. Sure, you have spectacular experiences. But you have no one to share or relate them with.Back from the Taj. No fun sitting in the Shamiana and then moving on to Starboard - same faces, same talk, same ambience, same victuals. Can't study. No interest in inferential knowledge - only knowledge gained through identification in consciousness of the subject with the object interests me - this is the best way of acquiring knowledge and becoming one with nature and self. Can't sleep since the level of consciousness with its accompanying energy in me is high enough to do away with sleep. No one interesting or kind to relate with. No one to understand the spontaneous recurring yogic experiences. No one to share in the broadest secularism that is a part of my personality - I meet only retards and fanatics everywhere in person or inline. No one to discuss the deepest aspects of existence that break all barriers and that reach out to the highest frontiers of consciousness. No one to know how seriously family damaged me in mind-emotion when alive. No one to understand the routine attacks from the hostile forces. No one to know how badly that sorcerer has damaged my mind-emotions. No one to perceive the adverse being he's put on me which keeps retreating for a time and then is back to torture and upset me. No permanent descent of the higher force in its highest degree of activation that can take me a mile ahead in the supramental yoga - the higher force on me is always present but its power is not sufficient to make that decisive difference and drag me out of the mess and its degree of activation keeps varying: this will not do. I need to be more plastic and more poised to attract the higher ranges of the higher force that can push me ahead but need a true guru for that. No pleasure in cars, electronics, sex, partying, yachts, holidays abroad, clothes, money, books. Marriage won't work out since my broken mind/damaged emotions and the adverse being put on me by him will destroy the relationship as it has done on many occasions in the past till the recent. No true guru to guide me in the integral yoga the way Sri Aurobindo was there to guide his closest disciples - his help is with me at all times though he's not there in flesh and blood at present - it makes a big difference having the guide in person. Don't know how long all this will go on before cracking point arrives with premature death as the finale. A sheer waste of life, potential, beauty and resources. Simply sitting down.
The antidote is to relearn how to interact with the greater world. Practice, practice, practice. At some point you will DEVELOP commonalities with the peons. Thats how life works. If you give it a chance.