venting

Ona, WV

#1 Mar 6, 2013
Does anyone else have this problem?....My mother in law is so over attached to her son (my husband) that it's making me crazy! She treats him like he is still her little boy and anytime he has any difficulty with anything her answer is to make an escape for him!! Example: My husband has a really hard job but it's a good job and the whole family depends on him (I am a stay at home mom). When he comes home and vents after a bad day, his mom says "well honey you're just gonna have to quit that job, it's gonna kill you" WHAT? That job pays our house payment, car payment, utilities, groceries...and you want him to quit because it's a tough job! this is just one example. I deal with this all the time. Anyone else?
A mother

Huntington, WV

#2 Mar 6, 2013
um....I am a mother, and while I am not over attached, why in the world would you want your husband to work such a tough job? So you can have your own house and sit on your ass all day and not work?

If his job is bad, then woman up dear and get a freaking job so he can leave it and enjoy life a little.

I have a couple sons, and one is married to a girl much like yourself, lazy and good for nothing and expects my son to toss his chance at enjoying life so he can work a high paying job so she can spend, spend and spend some more.

Here is a tip, maybe your son would not need his mother to worry about his happiness if the woman he married did it instead.
wow

Huntington, WV

#3 Mar 6, 2013
Your comment "The whole family depends on him" makes me want to vomit, what makes it ok for all of you to depend on him? Just because he is a man? Because he is trying to do the right thing? I am married and if my husband had such a tough job then I would tell him to quit it and find another one what does a house and stuff mean when someone is miserable trying to attain it.
venting

Ona, WV

#4 Mar 6, 2013
Thank you for answering. The point is that in order to have a great job, it is going to be tough. Having a bad day is not grounds for throwing away a good job. And yes the family depends on my husband for all things financial, but they depend on me for everything else. Literally everything else. To "a mother" I am sorry your son married a lazy woman. That is very unfortunate. We are a Christian household and both of us feel that I should be at home with the children instead of putting them in daycare and allowing complete strangers to raise our kids. I care deeply for my husband, the point is that his mother is treating him like a baby, which in turn makes him want to act like a child. The Bible teaches that men are leave their mother and father and cleave to their wife. The reason it teaches this is because once a man marries and becomes head of household, he shouldn't be treated like a young man anymore. And to "wow"....a house means a lot when you have to have a place to live...if we weren't paying for this house we would have to pay for another one........
goffer

Utica, PA

#5 Mar 6, 2013
I tell everyone i hate my mother inlaw but really like he better than my wife. The sex is great.

Level 1

Since: Jun 12

Saint Albans, WV

#6 Mar 6, 2013
There are such things as lazy christians ... Dont use that as an example of how you arent lazy.
A mother

Huntington, WV

#7 Mar 6, 2013
Being a christian has nothing to do with being lazy, nor does it have anything to do with your sitation right now.

What I am saying, is your first post you said "yes he has a tough job" but your second sounds almost as if its a normal everyday job, but he just had a bad day.....and I am not sure what line of work he is in but the words "That job is gonna kill you" is not common place with a everyday job........just sayin.

I am not calling you a liar, just saying that either the job is bad or it is not, which changes the whole situation. Without knowing what kind of work he is in, its hard to know one way or the other.

As far as a husband "cleaving" to his wife, your right a man should place his wife before his mother, the question then is why is he not?

Is it a fatal flaw he has, or is it something much simplier.........such as he needs a little bit of babying.

As a mother and a wife, I have found that boys will be boys regardless of their ages. They all need a little babying, a little lovin, and a little ego boosting........is it right, um who knows, but to have a happy man, sometimes woman must suck it up and give that sympathy that a man craves.

I am sure at some point you complain to your husband, about the kids, maybe the house work, crazy in laws etc etc....and you expect a certain response right? He is no different, he is showing a need for sympathy, and his mother is giving it to him.........you want it to stop, trade places with her. When he comes home from work after a long day, go to him, hug him, kiss him and listen to him complain about his job, then remind him how much you respect him for working so hard for you and the kids. Sometimes men need more appreciation then woman do, just a fact.

I am sorry if I judged you to quickly.......but my feelings on the matter are still the same, if your husband is unhappy at his job, then he should not be there. Having a home payment, car payment, and spending habits are NOT worth your husbands happiness.

If his job is hurting him, then you need to step up and go to work if need be to ensure that he is safe. Having your kids in day care is not being raised by someone else, that is a tired line woman have been using for years.........I have seen kids in day care as well as raised at home and to be honest, the day care kids were always 10 times better behaved and showed more stabilty then the kids rasied at "Home" Because day care teaches children from a young age how to behave and how they should act.

Not saying your little rug rats are bad lol....just saying that day care is not the devils work. Your husbands mental and physical well being is more important then "How you want your kids raised" are they gonna be happier if your husband gets fed up and walks away? Nope.........if your mother in law is taking the place of your job, then you need to take it back.

Sit down and talk to her, let her know what is bothering you and then be firm with how you want it to change. Don't waste your time going to your husband......that is his mother, and it is unlikely he is going to do anything more then muddy the waters more and cause resentment between you and her.

You are a grown woman, go talk to her, let her know what bothers you and deal with it. But make sure you sit down and make a list FIRST of what is bothering you, then stew on it for a few days, so that way you will know what is emotional reaction and what is a real problem. Sometimes when something is personal we tend to allow the little emotional things get in the way, keep it real and keep it friendly.
KFC

Hansford, WV

#8 Mar 6, 2013
Hey Dear keep his butt out their working, and tell mom in law to hit the road :)
wonderin

Lyndora, PA

#9 Mar 6, 2013
Wow people kill me!!! A man is suppose to take care of his family 90% o the time. The women works her butt I at home cleaning cooking taking care of the kids he helped make its not so hard for him to work!! It's hard to find a job today so he is very lucky to have it!! Venting I agree with u!!! I don't speak to my mother in law at all she a no good for nothing druggie!!!!

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