Child support enforcement
First Prev
of 2
Next Last
dealing

Charleston, WV

#28 Sep 27, 2013
ohio is shitty when it comes to the dad trying to do anything other than pay. they won't enforce visitation but they'll sure send him jail. however, as of jan 1 2008 the jailing for missed cs has changed. it has to reach a certain amount before they go to jail. this story sounds all to familiar - mom's a tard who only wants money and denies the father until christmas or tax time then complains that its the father's fault.

oh and OH will not bastardize a child - that's their reason for making him continue to pay cs.
momofthree

Lynchburg, VA

#29 Sep 27, 2013
However when the role are reversed the dad still gets screwed!!! My friend's husband took his deadbeat baby momma to court for child support for his kids and ended up with nothing!!! The court felt sorry for her cause she is too lazy to get a job and ordered her to pay $50 a month and he has to provide pretty much 100% for insurance!! If the table was turned they would have stuck it to him and make him get a job and pay her $600 a month.... So why is this okay??? Any suggestions???
Wife

Huntington, WV

#30 Sep 29, 2013
honesttogoodness wrote:
My ex wants me to get child support stopped for him because he is so far behind they are threatening to put him in jail for it. I don't know what to do. He has threatened me over the phone that he will stop seeing his kids. I have the conversations recorded on my phone and a couple of nasty texts he sent me. I don't want to file a police report on my kids dad and do not wish to have my kids have no dad in there life, but I am sure what he is doing is wrong. Has anybody else went thru this? I need some advice.
There is nothing you can do to FORCE a father to see his kids, recording the conversation is a waste of time, because even if he said I am not going to come see them over this, will not change that fact.

You have to decide what is more important, the back child support, or your childs emotional well being. Is he a good father? Does the time he spend with the kids mean a lot to them?

Granted what he is doing is shitty as all get out...and I don't agree with it AT ALL!! But as the kids mother, you also have to do what is best for the kids. Do you really need that money badly? If so, then you have to weigh the options, whats more important, the kids happiness or the money.

Cause let me say this...even though what he is doing sucks big time, my father was NEVER around, but if I ever heard that the reason my dad did not come around was because he owed back support and my mom could have waved it in order for him to be in my life and she choose the money over me having a relationship with my father...I would NEVER forgive her. Growing up without a father is hard, and for those kids who do it because they have no other choice, it sucks..but if you can give your kids their father simply by waving away some back support, lady I don't know you....but give those kids their father. Because at the end of the day, your kids mean more then money.

Someday they will thank you, and he will be the jerk who threatened to walk away from his kids over money..........but the reality is if you allow him to walk away over money, how are you any different? Your choosing money over your kids happiness, he is choosing money over his kids happiness, same boat, neither one of you are considering the kids needs.

He is being a jerk..........but don't join him in the boat by tossing the kids overboard.
Wife

Huntington, WV

#31 Sep 29, 2013
Hey Idiot,

You say it takes $600 to support a child, to pay rent, electric gas etc. So I suppose the parent did not need to pay these bills for him/herself before the child was born?

As a full adult, you still pay out rent, gas, electric, food, etc. Adding ONE child in on rent, ups the rental by one bedroom which is the average of $50 a unit, bills on average 12% Food bills on average 28% The biggest expense tends to be clothes which averages out generally around $400 a year. No it does not cost $600 a month to raise a child.

I am a CS caseworker. And the amounts awarded in most cases are complete bull, whats sad is that when these laws were written they were based on the fact that most marriages were from single working families with larger incomes. They are not formulated for such low income families. Thus we have huge child support orders being placed simply because the laws are outdated.

Some CS workers know this and will try to work with fathers, the bulk are single mothers or remarried mothers who fight their own ex-husbands and are bitter with them and take it out on you men.

As far as the modifications people talk about, good luck its like hitting the lotto getting it done. And good luck keeping it if you do get it lowered. I have seen CS lawyers argue that the man has the ability to make XX amount and the judge dismiss the request. Sometimes it works, just not well enough in many cases. The key to getting the mods done is get it in early, and stay on top of it.

Another key bit of information that may help some of you...if your falling behind, don't just bail on your order. Send something, even if its just $50 a month. It shows good faith! CS will generally not even bother you if your sending $50 in a month. Call your worker let her know whats going on, send the money and once you get working..don't play "catch me if you can" turn in your info, show good faith and we are less likely to be so quick to punish you.

To the ladies, stop using your darn kids as a admission ticket. Let your kids spend time with their fathers REGARDLESS if he is paying support or not. Its a PROVEN fact that fathers that are a active part of their child's life, are 10 times more likely to pay some form of support.

Work with the fathers, just because child support says "Hey we got you XXX amount of money, does not mean you have to agree to it. If you KNOW that amount is going to cause your ex to be unable to do anything with your child, let alone keep the lights on at his place.......then lower the darn support. If he is struggling to feed himself, he is going to slowly regret you AND his child. Which at the end of the day..only hurts your child.

Sure you can say what kind of a man regrets his child, well I can tell you what kind of a man does. The kind that is stressed to the max trying to rob peter to pay paul or has to tell his other kids sorry, you guys can't get new shoes this month cause my other kid has to get $600 every month. he loves his other kids just as much as YOUR kid...so when they do without so your kid can have extra, guess what honey, he starts regretting YOUR child. And for what...so you can have a little more money in your pocket? If you can sustain with a little less, cut the poor guy a break....if your barely getting by, then fine, but if you can afford to go out to eat, buy a nice purse for yourself and shop, and his other kids are doing without....it might be time to cut the guy some slack for the benefit of YOUR child. Don't believe me, fine, but when your child ends up having a bad relationship with dad and ends up crying himself to sleep at night...well thats not just dads fault, you helped too mommy.

Being a parent is NOT just about the money folks...its about doing whats RIGHT for your child, even if it means being the bigger person, but of course that means putting your child ahead of yourself.....what a concept.
Been there

Huntington, WV

#32 Sep 29, 2013
Wife I completely agree with you. I just recently had to go to court and get full custody of my son due to his dad dipping out on him. I told the judge I don't care about the child support as long as he is in my child's life. Ended up with 0 cs but hey...he's spending time with our son now. I look at it as a win for my son. Yes raising a child is expensive, but what I worth more to you? Your child's happiness or a little bit of extra money?

Since: Nov 10

Location hidden

#33 Sep 29, 2013
The child support office won't let me drop child support order if I wanted to because I don't make enough money at my job. They say both parents have an equal obligation to work and provide. I do not keep the kids from him at all. He sees them plenty. He thinks I have control over what happens to him and I don't. He owes a bunch of back support where he has not paid in years. The state said the amount they think he should pay not me. Why should he just be able 2 take it easy and not pay a dime? I work when I would rather be a stay at home mom but he should get to not work Does not seem fair I guess I am going to have to put them in reduced rate daycare. I don't have much choice, I work full time. I don't have extra money for purses or any of that stuff the person before me wrote. If I get an extra dollar I buy my kids clothes with it. I am a good mom.
Wife

Huntington, WV

#34 Oct 1, 2013
honesttogoodness wrote:
The child support office won't let me drop child support order if I wanted to because I don't make enough money at my job. They say both parents have an equal obligation to work and provide. I do not keep the kids from him at all. He sees them plenty. He thinks I have control over what happens to him and I don't. He owes a bunch of back support where he has not paid in years. The state said the amount they think he should pay not me. Why should he just be able 2 take it easy and not pay a dime? I work when I would rather be a stay at home mom but he should get to not work Does not seem fair I guess I am going to have to put them in reduced rate daycare. I don't have much choice, I work full time. I don't have extra money for purses or any of that stuff the person before me wrote. If I get an extra dollar I buy my kids clothes with it. I am a good mom.
Child support CAN NOT FORCE you to collect child support. If someone told you that then they are being dishonest. If you recieve CASH assistance then YES they can force child support, but if all you get is food stamps or a medical card then you can refuse child support. If thats the case, the only thing they can do is refuse to give YOU a medical card, not your kids, JUST you as punishment for refusing to work with child support.

As far as the back support, if you received cash assistance during ANY time that he paid child support then they will NOT wave the back support during that time. But you can go in and ask for the back page to be wiped clean that is owed to you. Its a simple paper you fill out. Takes less then 5 minutes. They will take it in front of a judge and they will remove any amounts owed to you, then only go after him for what he owes the state (The amounts he owes them for when you collected a welfare check) If you ever collected welfare (Cash assistance) If you never collected cash, then he will owe then nothing.

I am not saying your a bad mother...I get child support for my son as well. I was awarded $489 a month from his father, but told the judge that was NOT needed, and had it moved down to $150 a month. Because the fact is, after I paid my own rent and bills and food for MYSELF adding on ONE child costed me about a additional $150 a month. And thats the problem. A lot of women confuse struggling with expecting the man to support them. You would have had to pay all these bills BEFORE your children were born regardless....your children are just a ADDED expense. He should pay half of that ADDED expense, not half of YOUR total expense. Does that make sense?

I am not saying its not hard.....I am just saying its NOT fair to expect a man to pay half of a women TOTAL expense to support herself AND her kids when she would have had to support herself to begin with.

Your kids need dad in their lives...thats a fact. A little back child support is not reason enough to let him walk away. Have him go with you, sign the backorder to wipe it away, and let him explain the states obligation so he understands that you have done what you can do, so he does not take it out on the kids....at that point, the ball is in his court, you have done everything you can do to protect your kids best interest.

If he still chooses to not be in their lives, then so be it, you may have lost a little back support (And the reality is, you likely would have never seen it anyways) but you can rest easy knowing YOU did EVERYTHING you could do to make sure your kids had the BEST chance at having their dad in their lives.
Yallsuck

Philadelphia, PA

#35 Oct 1, 2013
You picked her.
Did she trick you into banging her?
Derper

Huntington, WV

#36 Oct 1, 2013
Wife wrote:
Hey Idiot,
You say it takes $600 to support a child, to pay rent, electric gas etc. So I suppose the parent did not need to pay these bills for him/herself before the child was born?
As a full adult, you still pay out rent, gas, electric, food, etc. Adding ONE child in on rent, ups the rental by one bedroom which is the average of $50 a unit, bills on average 12% Food bills on average 28% The biggest expense tends to be clothes which averages out generally around $400 a year. No it does not cost $600 a month to raise a child.
I am a CS caseworker. And the amounts awarded in most cases are complete bull, whats sad is that when these laws were written they were based on the fact that most marriages were from single working families with larger incomes. They are not formulated for such low income families. Thus we have huge child support orders being placed simply because the laws are outdated.
Some CS workers know this and will try to work with fathers, the bulk are single mothers or remarried mothers who fight their own ex-husbands and are bitter with them and take it out on you men.
As far as the modifications people talk about, good luck its like hitting the lotto getting it done. And good luck keeping it if you do get it lowered. I have seen CS lawyers argue that the man has the ability to make XX amount and the judge dismiss the request. Sometimes it works, just not well enough in many cases. The key to getting the mods done is get it in early, and stay on top of it.
Another key bit of information that may help some of you...if your falling behind, don't just bail on your order. Send something, even if its just $50 a month. It shows good faith! CS will generally not even bother you if your sending $50 in a month. Call your worker let her know whats going on, send the money and once you get working..don't play "catch me if you can" turn in your info, show good faith and we are less likely to be so quick to punish you.
To the ladies, stop using your darn kids as a admission ticket. Let your kids spend time with their fathers REGARDLESS if he is paying support or not. Its a PROVEN fact that fathers that are a active part of their child's life, are 10 times more likely to pay some form of support.
Work with the fathers, just because child support says "Hey we got you XXX amount of money, does not mean you have to agree to it. If you KNOW that amount is going to cause your ex to be unable to do anything with your child, let alone keep the lights on at his place.......then lower the darn support. If he is struggling to feed himself, he is going to slowly regret you AND his child. Which at the end of the day..only hurts your child.
It costs that if you're going to raise them like you love them. What about books? Kids need books. What about school trips? What about taking a child to museums and stuff? Sending them to school in something besides Family Dollar sweatpants.

Not to mention trying to put a little back each month for that car you want to buy them one day, prom tickets, I could go on and on and on.

I appreciate what you're saying, but to become a CONTRIBUTING member of society, a child needs more than a bowl of food and water in the garage and a towel in a box. I know the LAW says you are only required to provide what they need to NOT DIE, but my gosh, what about the cost to the kid's self esteem? I'd rather a grown man have a few hurt feelings than a kid overhear me talking about him like he's something I regret.

For the record, the only men I ever heard whining about how much money "that b*** gets for child support, she don't care if I starve" were bending one arm over a beer and the other over the video poker machine. With a pack of cigs in their pocket.
1 post removed
Itsawonderfullif e

United States

#38 Oct 2, 2013
Rain wrote:
<quoted text>
Seriously, you dont know me. I did raise my child. There is a difference with raising a child an being abused by a child. I do pay for my child and have paid for my child all her life. So what you are saying is that its ok for a child to abuse a parent. Hit a parent, cuss a parent, steal and do drugs. But its not ok to discipline a child. You are a real piece of work. What hole did you dig yourself out of. And thanks for calling me a POS.
Her name is Candice Parsons. She lives with her parents and does not have custody of her child. Her son lives with her parents, which is why she does too. Candice is not capable of raising her own son. She's the pos. she uses heroin and meth. She thinks she's a bad azz. I hate to break it to her, but she is a chicken shyt.
Let's all say LOSER at the same time. LOSER!!!!!

Level 5

Since: Sep 13

Arcadia, CA

#39 Oct 5, 2013
Yallsuck wrote:
You picked her.
Did she trick you into banging her?
LOL
1 post removed
J.D.?

Huntington, WV

#41 Oct 6, 2013
Wife wrote:
<quoted text>Child support CAN NOT FORCE you to collect child support. If someone told you that then they are being dishonest. If you recieve CASH assistance then YES they can force child support, but if all you get is food stamps or a medical card then you can refuse child support. If thats the case, the only thing they can do is refuse to give YOU a medical card, not your kids, JUST you as punishment for refusing to work with child support.

As far as the back support, if you received cash assistance during ANY time that he paid child support then they will NOT wave the back support during that time. But you can go in and ask for the back page to be wiped clean that is owed to you. Its a simple paper you fill out. Takes less then 5 minutes. They will take it in front of a judge and they will remove any amounts owed to you, then only go after him for what he owes the state (The amounts he owes them for when you collected a welfare check) If you ever collected welfare (Cash assistance) If you never collected cash, then he will owe then nothing.

I am not saying your a bad mother...I get child support for my son as well. I was awarded $489 a month from his father, but told the judge that was NOT needed, and had it moved down to $150 a month. Because the fact is, after I paid my own rent and bills and food for MYSELF adding on ONE child costed me about a additional $150 a month. And thats the problem. A lot of women confuse struggling with expecting the man to support them. You would have had to pay all these bills BEFORE your children were born regardless....your children are just a ADDED expense. He should pay half of that ADDED expense, not half of YOUR total expense. Does that make sense?

I am not saying its not hard.....I am just saying its NOT fair to expect a man to pay half of a women TOTAL expense to support herself AND her kids when she would have had to support herself to begin with.

Your kids need dad in their lives...thats a fact. A little back child support is not reason enough to let him walk away. Have him go with you, sign the backorder to wipe it away, and let him explain the states obligation so he understands that you have done what you can do, so he does not take it out on the kids....at that point, the ball is in his court, you have done everything you can do to protect your kids best interest.

If he still chooses to not be in their lives, then so be it, you may have lost a little back support (And the reality is, you likely would have never seen it anyways) but you can rest easy knowing YOU did EVERYTHING you could do to make sure your kids had the BEST chance at having their dad in their lives.
And where did you receive your J.D. From? Cause the internet lawyer in you is giving out wrong legal advice.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Huntington Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Hillary wins the debate!! 2 min Troll Patrol 61
for black people. 4 10 min The prick 94
Baltimore Street bad bad 18 min LolaRakes 1
Women with tattoos=disgusting filthy garbage /C... 49 min So what 15
Donald Trump Raises $18 Million since debate 2 hr MarkJ- 7
massage? 2 hr looking1 9
hillary 3 hr Troll Patrol 3

Huntington Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Huntington Mortgages