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1 - 10 of 10 Comments Last updated Nov 3, 2013
Mack Daddy

Charleston, WV

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#1
Nov 2, 2013
 

Judged:

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The Affordable Boat Act

The
U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The Affordable Boat
Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April
2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000
each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and
registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or
repair costs.

This
law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and
financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This
new law ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of
their own, because everyone is entitled to a new boat. If you purchase
your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life
jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In
order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of
owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way,
wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want
or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can't afford to
maintain their boat will be regularly fined, and children (under the age
of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then
must purchase their own boat.

If
you already have a boat, you can keep yours ( just kidding; no you
canít ). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy
one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can't afford one, you will be
regularly fined $800 until you purchase one, or face imprisonment.

Failure
to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert,
ghettos, inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt.
Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge, nor lack of desire are
acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A
government review board ( that doesn't know the difference between the
port, starboard or stern sides of a boat ) will decide everything,
including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use
your boat along with how many people can ride your boat, and determine
if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They
will also decide if your boat has outlived its usefulness, or if you
must purchase specific accessories ( like a $500 compass), or a newer
and more expensive boat. Those who can afford yachts will be required
to do soÖ itís only fair. The government will also decide the name for
each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and
possible imprisonment.

Government
officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and
their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of taxpayers.
Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations are
also exempt. All Americans will never have a problem sailing, SO SAYS Hussein OBAMA
mexican

Huntington, WV

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#2
Nov 2, 2013
 
Do we gotta do this to?
Cliff

Huntington, WV

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#3
Nov 2, 2013
 
Do you really think Obama would make you buy something you didn't want? That would make him a despicable and disgusting person. Wouldn't it?
THE LAST WARRIOR POET

Hurricane, WV

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#4
Nov 2, 2013
 
Next conservative prez should pass a law making all libturds wear panties. Any girlyman caught wearing mens underclothing would be arrested for impersonating a real man.
Paws

Huntington, WV

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#5
Nov 2, 2013
 
Hey dumbasses presidents don't write laws.
1 post removed
THE LAST WARRIOR POET

Hurricane, WV

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#7
Nov 3, 2013
 
Paws wrote:
Hey dumbasses presidents don't write laws.
Figure of speech dumbass.DUH
See, i knew libs believed everything they hear.
THE LAST WARRIOR POET

Hurricane, WV

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#8
Nov 3, 2013
 
resident wrote:
<quoted text>
Lol they would comply. Liberals love to bound, gagged , and abused by rulers.
When the Antichrist is revealed they'll be his eyes and ears. I bet his entire cabinet will be a gay harem. They'll be putty in his PC culturally diverse hands. Little rat socialist bastards.
Paws

Huntington, WV

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#9
Nov 3, 2013
 
THE LAST WARRIOR POET wrote:
<quoted text>
When the Antichrist is revealed they'll be his eyes and ears. I bet his entire cabinet will be a gay harem. They'll be putty in his PC culturally diverse hands. Little rat socialist bastards.
You talk about gay sex a lot. Maybe you should finally come out of the closet. It might help with your anger issues.
SannDigger

Huntington, WV

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#10
Nov 3, 2013
 
This is a great comparison really, because a person beig able to own a boat is just like a 4 year old with cancer being able to get medical treatment.
Level 6

Since: Nov 11

Location hidden

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#11
Nov 3, 2013
 
THE LAST WARRIOR POET wrote:
<quoted text>
When the Antichrist is revealed they'll be his eyes and ears. I bet his entire cabinet will be a gay harem. They'll be putty in his PC culturally diverse hands. Little rat socialist bastards.
Antichrist? Gotta love people adhering to bronze-age superstitions. The 21st century called, it would like you to join it.

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