Adult Children that don't care about ...

Adult Children that don't care about their parents

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Hurt Senior Citizen Mom

Ashland, KY

#1 Sep 30, 2013
I have two adult children that don't seem to give a "hoot n' hell" about me, their 60 year old mother. They seldom call or ask me to visit. I only live a few miles from one of them. They stay absorbed on whatever they are seeing on their phones when they do see me and virtually ignore me with talking and viewing whatever they see on those phones. I can even go out to dinner with them and they spend most of their dinner time viewing their phones. I am hurt and feel unloved. I feel like I am the only senior citizen around that is hurt and feel unloved by their grown children. I have friends with adult children that say they couldn't be happier with their relationship with those adult children. I guess I messed up somewhere. I wish there were a way to change the relationship(or lack of a relationship) I have with my grown children.
wv sucks

Charleston, WV

#2 Sep 30, 2013
Im am so sorry you feel that way I wish my mom lived close to me but she moved to fl 2 yrs ago I would give anything to have dinner with her and I think thats messed up they have their phones out during time with u. There shouldnt be anything that important . They could/ should worry about whatever they are looking at after your alls visit. I hope every thing gets better between u all. As a mom myself I hope when my kids are older they still want to.spend time.with me (they are still little) and dont have their phones out etc.
Hurt Senior Citizen Mom

Ashland, KY

#3 Sep 30, 2013
wv sucks wrote:
Im am so sorry you feel that way I wish my mom lived close to me but she moved to fl 2 yrs ago I would give anything to have dinner with her and I think thats messed up they have their phones out during time with u. There shouldnt be anything that important . They could/ should worry about whatever they are looking at after your alls visit. I hope every thing gets better between u all. As a mom myself I hope when my kids are older they still want to.spend time.with me (they are still little) and dont have their phones out etc.
Thanks for your kind words. How often do you see your mom? I hope you get to see her often. My adult children aren't the only ones that have their phones out. You can't even get a good conversation going or a chance to meet a potential new friends out somewhere anymore - like at the doctor's office - because nearly everyone is on their phones or viewing whatever they are viewing. I often would like to start up a conversation with someone, but don't want to interrupt their "very important" phone business and viewing. I like the new technologies - it's nice that people don't have to stay at home anymore in order to receive a very important phone call. However, we have traded a lot of old fashioned ways of communicating with people in order to have these new technologies. For example, LOL doesn't have the charm of hearing someone truly laugh. I'm a senior citizen. What do I know? I still remember when I had a party line and t.v. had only three channels and three networks and required an antenna up on top of your roof (but the programming was free). I remember all the things that old timers like me remember such as gas being 34.9 (and sometimes lower during "gas wars"). I remember getting full coverage on a nice vehicle for $15.00 a month. I remember when most vehicles ranged in price from around $2800 -$3500. I remember when Toyota Corollas cost $1799. I had an 8 track player in my first car. I remember the marvel of VCR's when they first came out and cost around $1000 for a one time on, one time off model that didn't have on screen programming (very easy to program incorrectly and not record that favorite show that you thought you were recording). I remember when all the 32 lanes at "The Blue Ribbon Lanes" were filled with leagues each evening with leagues starting at 6 and 8:30 in the evening. All the lanes were full during the evenings and no one could open bowl then. I remember that girls weren't allowed to wear slacks in school until the middle of my junior year in high school (when the dress code finally changed). I could go on and on about the things I remember "from way back then". That shows how old I'm getting. Most all old people like to talk about the way it was back then or talk about the prices of things back then. Most of them don't bother to tell you that back then the average household income was less than $10,000 a year. By the way, I just can't pay a dollar or more for the same candy bars I got in the 60's for a nickel. I'm just an old fogey, but I wish my grown, adult children could see me as an "oldie goldie".
Derper

Huntington, WV

#4 Oct 1, 2013
Hurt Senior Citizen Mom wrote:
I have two adult children that don't seem to give a "hoot n' hell" about me, their 60 year old mother. They seldom call or ask me to visit. I only live a few miles from one of them. They stay absorbed on whatever they are seeing on their phones when they do see me and virtually ignore me with talking and viewing whatever they see on those phones. I can even go out to dinner with them and they spend most of their dinner time viewing their phones. I am hurt and feel unloved. I feel like I am the only senior citizen around that is hurt and feel unloved by their grown children. I have friends with adult children that say they couldn't be happier with their relationship with those adult children. I guess I messed up somewhere. I wish there were a way to change the relationship(or lack of a relationship) I have with my grown children.
You ARE the only senior who feels unloved by their grown children. That's never happened before in the history of old people.

Get a phone, learn to text (the kids B <3'ing dat textin'), and then next time you get dissed by your ungrateful spawn, whip it out and TEXT them. Surprise!

Even better yet....

Have some FUN with them. Getcha one of those fancy envelopes from a lawyer's office that say "Last Will & Testament", and make a big show about putting it quickly away in a drawer after they catch a glimpse.

Get secretive. Let it slip that you have an appointment with an attorney next week and then refuse to discuss it. Later over dinner, ask is they remember the time when they were VERY little and you took them to see their old maiden aunt Bernice at that "mansion". The one with the grand piano and all the antiques. They'll say "no" and then you put on an EXTREMELY innocent face and say "Never mind, then". And then change the subject. Refuse to discuss Aunt Bernice.

You do that and you'll get more attention out of those kids than you'll know what to do with. Plus it'll be funny as hell, and you'll learn a lot about what they're made of...and knowledge is power. hee hee.
nlj

Huntington, WV

#5 Oct 1, 2013
Hurt Senior Citizen Mom wrote:
I have two adult children that don't seem to give a "hoot n' hell" about me, their 60 year old mother. They seldom call or ask me to visit. I only live a few miles from one of them. They stay absorbed on whatever they are seeing on their phones when they do see me and virtually ignore me with talking and viewing whatever they see on those phones. I can even go out to dinner with them and they spend most of their dinner time viewing their phones. I am hurt and feel unloved. I feel like I am the only senior citizen around that is hurt and feel unloved by their grown children. I have friends with adult children that say they couldn't be happier with their relationship with those adult children. I guess I messed up somewhere. I wish there were a way to change the relationship(or lack of a relationship) I have with my grown children.
I'm sorry your kids treat you that way,I often get real upset when I know of kids mistreating their Parents,I lost my Mom when I was 12 and my Dad at 19 and I would give ANYTHING to have them back,I often tell kids,they don't know how lucky they are to have their Parents and they should do any and everything they can with and for them because when they are gone,they are gonna wish they had.If I knew your kids,I would be that one to say "hey do you know what you are doing to your Mother? And if you had any sense you would spend every possible moment with her and put that damn phone on silent during the time you are with her,one day you're gonna wish you had her for some advice or just that Special someone to talk to" Boy,I think how great it would be to have Mom & Dad here to see how things have changed or just because I want to sit and talk with them,to know them better as a grownup,I missed not having my Mom to help me become a woman,my older sisters and my Dad raised us 4 younger kids,there were 7 of us,4 girls& 3boys,now theres just 1 boy and he is really sick with cancer,so you might want to just try telling them how it makes you feel and let them know how lucky they really are to still have you,now that they are grown.I hope they change the way they make you feel,theres only 1 Mom & Dad.God Bless You.
lol

Huntington, WV

#6 Oct 1, 2013
Text them while they are driving, then they will be wanting to talk.
Abbie

Charleston, WV

#7 Oct 1, 2013
Derper is right. Instead of just being upset have some fun with the situation. Learn new tactics to get their attention. Run a google search on 'ways to get your adult children to spend time with you'.

And... If you don't already have other friends and a social life, you need to work on that. I guarantee that if you look around hard enough there are others who are lonely, too.

I try to balance the amount of time I expect my kids to spend with me keeping in mind that they have their own life to live as well.
Hurt Senior Citizen Mom

Ashland, KY

#8 Oct 1, 2013
Thanks for your good advice. I do need more of a life of my own.
Rowan

United States

#9 Oct 1, 2013
This same post is posted all over Ashland/Ironton
? Grammy must be hip..she knows how to use the old computer and use topix..
Lawless

Columbus, OH

#10 Oct 1, 2013
I've always wished for a wonderful parental relationship. Unfortunately, not every mother is wonderful. Mine is so toxic that she has isolated herself from everyone and then cries pitty me little victim because no one can stand to be around her.

There are a lot of selfish people out there, they are from all walks of life: children and parents included.

The only person you can control is you. As long as your side of the street is clean, that is all that is within your realm of influence. Perhaps you could find some like minded friends who would enjoy sharing time, a meal and conversation with you?
Hurt Senior Citizen Mom

Ashland, KY

#11 Oct 1, 2013
Rowan wrote:
This same post is posted all over Ashland/Ironton
? Grammy must be hip..she knows how to use the old computer and use topix..
I've never been on Ironton Topix and Boyd County Topix is one that hardly anyone is ever on. I'll give Ironton Topix a try - I've never been on it. I like variety and various comments from people all around. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?
Very Blessed

Huntington, WV

#12 Oct 2, 2013
I am a grown adult and have a wonderful relationship with my parents and we don't live that far apart. I don't get to see them as much as I would like or get to spend as much time as I would want with them. That is because I work, usually on my days off I get to spend it cleaning , doing laundry, cooking and catching up on the stuff I couldn't do and I just want to rest and take it easy and don't feel like going anywhere when I am done. I work two jobs and my parents understand that, but thanks to the internet we do web cam and see each other that way. There is not a day that goes by that I don't call them , just to say hello and I love you . We do make time whether it is once every two weeks or once a month just to spend the day together. If my parents ever need anything , I am the first one there no matter what is planned for the day. I love my parents , I have 4 adult children too , (I am not as young anymore) but without a doubt I know that my family loves me (parents and children) even though we don't get to see each other every day.
Hurt Senior Citizen Mom

Ashland, KY

#13 Oct 3, 2013
Very Blessed wrote:
I am a grown adult and have a wonderful relationship with my parents and we don't live that far apart. I don't get to see them as much as I would like or get to spend as much time as I would want with them. That is because I work, usually on my days off I get to spend it cleaning , doing laundry, cooking and catching up on the stuff I couldn't do and I just want to rest and take it easy and don't feel like going anywhere when I am done. I work two jobs and my parents understand that, but thanks to the internet we do web cam and see each other that way. There is not a day that goes by that I don't call them , just to say hello and I love you . We do make time whether it is once every two weeks or once a month just to spend the day together. If my parents ever need anything , I am the first one there no matter what is planned for the day. I love my parents , I have 4 adult children too ,(I am not as young anymore) but without a doubt I know that my family loves me (parents and children) even though we don't get to see each other every day.
I said I wouldn't get back on here, but I don't need to let those negative people keep me off. I just won't respond to them. You are indeed very blessed. I lost both my mother and dad when I was in my early twenties (they died a year apart from each other). That has been 34 and 35 years ago. I had ups and downs with them as a teenager, but I, like you, didn't go a single day without calling them. Most of the time, I went "home" everyday to see them. I would have never considered moving away from Ashland and being separated from them. Many years have passed since they died, but I have never ceased to think about them everyday and I have often felt cheated that I didn't get to keep them for many years longer. My parents didn't live to see my children. I was expecting my first child when my mother died and had my baby six days later. I never dreamed my mom wouldn't be there to see her new grandchild (my dad had died the year before and my mother died unexpectedly). I thought I would have they same kind of relationship with my children as I did with my parents. It's not too late, however. There is still hope. Perhaps, my children will get an epiphany and start treating me with love and respect. Until then, I'll keep trying and will do everything I can to show them I love them.
Hurt Senior Citizen Mom

Ashland, KY

#14 Oct 3, 2013
I wrote about this topic on another forum where I got some negative remarks. I don't think anyone on here said anything negative - my mistake. There probably will be some negative remarks now, however.
1 post removed

Level 4

Since: Dec 12

Front Royal, VA

#16 Oct 3, 2013
maybe you shouldn't have beat them and sold them for slavery, after you force- fed them creamed spinach and brussel sprouts. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar douche....
A Mom

Ashland, KY

#17 Oct 3, 2013
disneywalt wrote:
If adult children don't like their parents maybe it has something to do with the upbringing or something the parent has done to the adult child???
No parent is perfect and neither is the child. I caught my teenager with a dope pipe and marijuana and she didn't think I should reprimand her for it. I tried to ground her, but she tried to get physically aggressive with me. I didn't have any control over her, so I sent her to live with her dad. I think she always resented me for that.
1 post removed
Arlenethirteen

Waterloo, Canada

#19 Oct 18, 2013
Good parents can produce Bad kids! Genetics, sign of the selfish times, but there are more parents than who wish to admit that their selfish adult children are neglecting them in so many ways. Unfortunately it is those who lose something good at a young age, who know a parent's worth. You don't know what you had until you've lost it....but what is that worth when you are under the ground and have cried for years just wanting regular phone calls or visits.
Justamom

Oxnard, CA

#20 Nov 23, 2013
I took out Loans, and stock grants to give them what they wanted. Cars, college, weddings, none done for me by my parents, these kids had the best we could give. Got laid off last year, again Aftec3 quirks, I'm not worth their time for a call. They think their dad walks on water, but it was all my $. Spent 2 weeks while he was on vacation, not a call or invite, could have been dead! Got laid off this week? Not one call or visit. Foster kids would care more
nlj

Huntington, WV

#21 Nov 24, 2013
Its really sad how kids treat their Parents,one day they will be sorry,if not they should be.
shameful

Chesapeake, OH

#22 Nov 24, 2013
Ashleigh Butler is the same way. My friend told me that her daughter fights her physically, allows her boyfriend to scream and argue with her to. He has gone as far as to physically assult her husband and spit in her face. All the while, Ashleigh does nothing about it. The worst part is that they live with my friend. Even their 3 or 4 kids. Such a sad situation. If she puts her daughter and her boyfriend out, her daughter will take the grandkids that they love so much. Maybe after reading this Ashleigh will see how awful her actions are and will change!

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