he cheated now what
needs advice

Chesapeake, OH

#1 Jun 25, 2013
i think my husband cheated and after many hours and nights of brutal knock down drag outs, crying, and lots of real honest TALKING & LISTING i have made the decision to stay with him no matter how right or wrong bad or good this this decision is or turns out be its mine to make but i just do not know how or were to go from here any TRUE HONEST AND REAL advice would be gratefully appreciated!
crazy

Penfield, PA

#2 Jun 25, 2013
I'm in the same boat if he can't be honest n he continue to cheat can u live like u are? Truly that's the only thing that matters not anyone else.
Good luck
lotsa luck

Proctorville, OH

#3 Jun 25, 2013
Sounds like by you not ready to leave that you have been with this man for several years, and you love him regardless of what he does to you, hate that you have been cheated on or you think you have, first thing is dont accuse him if you dont have proof find out what's missing in your relationship that he has to go elsewhere and find it. good luck to ya
goochin

Chesapeake, OH

#4 Jun 25, 2013
The world just ended. You don't know it yet.
and

Avella, PA

#5 Jun 25, 2013
lotsa luck wrote:
Sounds like by you not ready to leave that you have been with this man for several years, and you love him regardless of what he does to you, hate that you have been cheated on or you think you have, first thing is dont accuse him if you dont have proof find out what's missing in your relationship that he has to go elsewhere and find it. good luck to ya
That's good advice. You also will have to decide if you can ever trust him again. If so, you need to give him a clear plan for winning back your trust. If not, end it now - a relationship can't survive without trust.
lotsa luck

Proctorville, OH

#6 Jun 25, 2013
"and" I agree with you as well, she has to gain back that trust, but he is the one who needs to prove to her that he can be trusted, its not going to happen over nite it will take a long time to overcome it, once you lose trust for someone its so hard to get back you will find yourself checking up on him you will find yourself asking questions and snooping around to make sure he is telling the truth, even thou he may start being honest with you, you will find yourself not believing him because once the trust is broken it is never the same when you get it back, you will be always wondering is he telling the truth this time. when he tells you he is telling the truth give him the benefit of the doubt= take his word for it! give him the chance to prove to you that he can be trusted again. but without trust in a relationship you have nothing, and need to move on
hurt

Ashburn, VA

#7 Jun 25, 2013
been smacked around,cheated on lied to..friends lying for him,caught him,he did it again and again after that...i quit caring. filed for divorce and with that his whole life went down the drain too. now all truth came out and all he wants to do is make 15 years up to me...is honest about the past,seeing as i dont get upset hearing it all after so long. now we are living the life we should have always had. i wonder if i am settling for him because i feel i have to or if i really do still love him. i dont know but i guess i will know. no real answers to relationship problems stemming from infidelity and lies. just be smarter.
1 post removed
Level 3

Since: Jun 13

Location hidden

#9 Jun 25, 2013
Try seeking advice from friends and family. You will be much better off.
trust

Summersville, WV

#10 Jun 25, 2013
It will never be the same. Most women if they are honest will say the same thing. Face it, when people cheat thier love for their mate isnt 100% or they wouldnt have the desire to even want to cheat. If you take them back it only sends a message that it is ok and they try to be more clever the next time, because more then likely it will happen again, especially if they have done it more then once. Repeat cheaters arent the committing type, its who they are. No matter how much you believe they are going to change or want them too, its not going to happen.
Ms Alice

Saint Albans, WV

#11 Jun 25, 2013
needs advice wrote:
i think my husband cheated and after many hours and nights of brutal knock down drag outs, crying, and lots of real honest TALKING & LISTING i have made the decision to stay with him no matter how right or wrong bad or good this this decision is or turns out be its mine to make but i just do not know how or were to go from here any TRUE HONEST AND REAL advice would be gratefully appreciated!
how do you "think" he cheated? So he's denying it? Well first off, it's going to be harder to get over some thing if your not even sure what your getting over. If you in your gut know that he cheate and he's denying it, makes it worse. My advice: you should talk with him and tell him "you are willing to try to work through things BUT it has to start on good solid foundation of truth. So in order to work through things, no matter how hard it may be to say and hear, he needs to be 100% honest about what he did, and tell him if he doesn't come clean then there is no way it's going to work bc u will always feel like its all still based on his lies"
Are you going to be able to handle the truth? Maybe the reason you are willing to stay an work it out is because you don't really know the details of what he's done, and after you hear it you will be too hurt and angry to stay.
I'm speaking from expirence here. My husband did cheat on me. I spoke with the girl he slept with! It was so hurtful I thought I was going to die of a heart attack! But I chose to stay and the only way I was able to do so is bc he proved to me how much he loved me and was so sorry for his actions. But that had to start with him being completely honest with me no matter how bad it hurt to do so.
Faithfool

Front Royal, VA

#12 Jun 25, 2013
Agreed. I suspected that I was being cheated on. Never got to the bottom of it. I've stayed since I don't have absolute proof. But, since I know I've not gotten the full truth there will never be healing or complete trust. Ever.
hmm2

Ashburn, VA

#13 Jun 25, 2013
its not always because they are not satisfied with sex...or the home life....they like to show off what they got. that they can still get it..and some are so stupid & selfish etc they think they will never get caught....once a cheater always a cheater!
Erin

Saint Albans, WV

#14 Jun 26, 2013
I have always heard once a cheater always a cheater, but isn't it possible for a man to learn from his mistakes and stay faithful? I would like to know some statistics on this subject. I know men and women tend to cheat for different reasons. And I agree that every case is different as every one is different but it usually doesn't have anything to do with the man not being satisfied at home. Or is that a lie us women try to tell ourselves??

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