Wife is Obese and It turns me Off Big...
apple pie bitches

Huntington, WV

#69 Jun 28, 2013
Unhappy Husband wrote:
How can I tell my wife without hurting her feelings that her massive weight is a big turn off?
She was so fine when we met, but she has really let herself go. I do not want to make love to her anymore. She needs to drop a bunch of weight. I find myself attracted to women who are in shape. I am afraid I am going to cheat.
first offer and explain to her about all your love for her
dont beat around the bush and explain that her weight has became a problem and i assure you she realizes that she has gained and it probably bothers her too if you truly love her offer to help her, with working out together, info videos etc. and maybe even try some diet supplements if u both agree and if u truly love her, stay by her side and try to work through it, but she has to help herself and explain that [hysical attraction did have a small amount to do with why you wanted her to begin with, andi find myself looking T OTHER women not wanting to cheat wishing she would help herself.out of love you dont wanna say nothing but out of conciousness it bothers you and u dont wanna hurt her...idk hope it helps
Anon

Huntington, WV

#70 Jun 28, 2013
Lycan wrote:
<quoted text>OMG! Hypocrite much? Read your own damn post!!!
Yes! The worst part is that his wife is probably 200+ pounds!!!!!! Hubby!! Post her pictures and let everyone be the judge of her body!!!!!!!!
What the hell are you talking about? How am I a "hypocrite"?
Lycan

Huntington, IN

#71 Jun 28, 2013
Trying to act all high and mighty about "Yes he should" pretend to like blubber then go and make a remark about "the worst part is you`re probly 200+ lbs".
Don`t sell me your speech about weight doesn`t matter and then try to insult me by attacking my weight in the same damn post.
It would be ironic if you were trying to defend his fat wife, and she just so happens to be 200+ lbs.
Anon

Huntington, WV

#72 Jun 28, 2013
Lycan wrote:
Trying to act all high and mighty about "Yes he should" pretend to like blubber then go and make a remark about "the worst part is you`re probly 200+ lbs".
Don`t sell me your speech about weight doesn`t matter and then try to insult me by attacking my weight in the same damn post.
It would be ironic if you were trying to defend his fat wife, and she just so happens to be 200+ lbs.
I meant that if you are overweight, you have absolutely no right to tell this person that his wife shouldn't be overweight. Simple.

I stand by my statement that if two people "love" each other, weight and appearance in general shouldn't matter.

I fail to see how these two things have anything to do with each other, and I'm not going to continue to argue with an idiot.
Zaphod

Glen Allen, VA

#73 Jun 28, 2013
I am a fattie
twelve

Huntington, WV

#74 Jun 28, 2013
So lycan...your racist and you dont like fat people. What other discriminatory traits do you posess? Do you think you are a superior being? Question, you need a liver transplant and the only one you can get is from a black or someone obese...you turn it down and die?
Lycan

Huntington, IN

#75 Jun 28, 2013
Anon wrote:
<quoted text>
I meant that if you are overweight, you have absolutely no right to tell this person that his wife shouldn't be overweight. Simple.
It doesn`t matter. He didn`t marry me. Wouldn`t make any difference if I was a toothpick or huge.

I see what you are intending, however by saying or suggesting that the worst part is that someone is 200+ lbs doesn`t help you convience anyone that obese is acceptable.
Lycan

Huntington, IN

#76 Jun 28, 2013
Anon wrote:
<quoted text>I stand by my statement that if two people "love" each other, weight and appearance in general shouldn't matter.
It certianly does. How often do you humor advances or contemplate flirting with someone you have no physical attraction to?
Besides, as I stated, thin and semi athletic
to obese isn`t a matter of switching to diet soda`s.
There`s some serious character changes at work. Underneath the blubber a stranger is eating his wife. To go from healthy to obese is a major life style change.
My point is this new person is physically unattractive, and so his her lifestyle. Maybe hubby can pound shamoo, but he can`t fake liking her sitting around all day in self pitty, lazy, and being a dis-engaged slug.
Lycan

Huntington, IN

#77 Jun 28, 2013
twelve wrote:
So lycan...your racist and you dont like fat people. What other discriminatory traits do you posess? Do you think you are a superior being? Question, you need a liver transplant and the only one you can get is from a black or someone obese...you turn it down and die?
I`m not racist. I`m prejudist. Big difference.
And yes, I would gladly receive a transplant if I were in your hypthetical situation. I would also donate one of mine to a black, gay, obese or whom ever if it meant saving a life.

How does that help this married guy mount a seacow he isn`t attracted to?

Lycan

Huntington, IN

#78 Jun 28, 2013
twelve wrote:
What other discriminatory traits do you posess? Do you think you are a superior being?
I`m sure I could manufacture a list if you have to know my pet peaves. And don`t even act like you don`t have some either. You`re already seething
because I`m being honest.
And no, far far from superior. I`m even willing to admit I have more flaws then you might consider normal. Some I could change, others out of my control. Just like everybody else. But I can tell you none of them include making you approve of any you disagree with.
twelve

Huntington, WV

#79 Jun 28, 2013
Mount a sea cow? See that just sounds ignorant. I do not prefer or am attracted to overweight people but you will not hear me down someone based on a physical trait. It's real shallow. Grow up lil boy or lil girl you have a lot to learn about life.
Lycan

Huntington, IN

#80 Jun 29, 2013
twelve wrote:
Mount a sea cow? See that just sounds ignorant. I do not prefer or am attracted to overweight people but you will not hear me down someone based on a physical trait. It's real shallow. Grow up lil boy or lil girl you have a lot to learn about life.
Aren`t we precious and dainty, good for you.
Over weight isn`t an issue no more than slim is when talking about malnurished anorexia.

Maybe I have an issue with life styles more so than physical traits. That just means you`ll have to love everybody a little extra to pick up my slack in world peace.

And no, it`s not shallow, it`s life. This guy isn`t attracted to the woman that his wife turned into. And I seriously doubt it`s "just" a physical trait.

I can see how you view the guy as the one breaking his vow. But I see it as an effect caused by the actions of his wife. All you see is a guy saying he isn`t attracted to his fat wife. There is certianly more to place in context to what that means.
Lycan

Huntington, IN

#81 Jun 29, 2013
twelve wrote:
I don't believe in discriminating about any physical trait but if you let yourself go and don't care then why should he. You have to have some standards. Personally I am not attracted to a fat man, but if you are then to each his own.
You don`t discriminate.... But you do have standards as to what is acceptable to you?
You should be a politician. You`re good at saying nothing at all and blurring lines.

So you wouldn`t give a "fat man" a chance at all? Perhaps he is the best thing to ever happen to you? And last time I checked, "fat" is a character trait. And who called who shallow?
Truth Patrol

Huntington, WV

#82 Jun 29, 2013
Lycan wrote:
<quoted text>
Aren`t we precious and dainty, good for you.
Over weight isn`t an issue no more than slim is when talking about malnurished anorexia.
Maybe I have an issue with life styles more so than physical traits. That just means you`ll have to love everybody a little extra to pick up my slack in world peace.
And no, it`s not shallow, it`s life. This guy isn`t attracted to the woman that his wife turned into. And I seriously doubt it`s "just" a physical trait.
I can see how you view the guy as the one breaking his vow. But I see it as an effect caused by the actions of his wife. All you see is a guy saying he isn`t attracted to his fat wife. There is certianly more to place in context to what that means.
Another great post!
Lycan

Huntington, IN

#83 Jun 29, 2013
Truth Patrol wrote:
<quoted text>
Another great post!
Validated by truth... ThankYou. And I`m sure you`re smart enough to catch my "colorful" insults as nothing more than shock tactics.
Perhaps I should tone it down, but I would hate to be confused for someone who dances around clearity.
twelve

Saint Albans, WV

#84 Jun 29, 2013
Its for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part...yada yada yada, thats why you shouldnt get married if you do not mean it. You see I didnt marry someone and promise to be with them regardless. Lets say I did marry a man and he got fat, I would try to help him lose weight versus calling him fat albert or a seacow. You lack tact.
Lycan

Huntington, IN

#85 Jun 29, 2013
I didn`t know tact was required to comment.

And agian, all you see is a guy who isn`t attracted to his fat wife.
Try to follow me here...
No spouce would give two sh!ts if thier significant other drinks alcohol regularly. It`s all the other issues that come along with it.
No spouce would give two sh!ts if thier significant other sits on the couch eating cake. It`s all the other issues that come along with it.
A spouce who neglects thier duties is no different from a spouce who neglects thier duties.
A spouce who has completely changed 180 degrees is no different from a spouce who did a 180.

Weight gain, like 20 or 30 lbs, yeah people get old. People settle, acceptable.

But 100 or 150 lbs???
1 post removed
threeohfour

Hurricane, WV

#87 Jul 11, 2013
5exual fantasy wrote:
<quoted text>
Tell her she made your dream come true about being with 2 women at once since she is the size of them :\
lol
freeforall

Huntington, WV

#88 Jul 11, 2013
Just be honest dude, my wife gained a bunch of weight after she had 3 kids and yeah it was a turn off. I tried all the normal stuff about healthy, and lets walk and stuff but it did not work. So I sat her down and was honest. I told her the weight was becoming a issue and that even though I knew I was being jerk the fact was I was not attracted to the weight but that I loved her. It hurt her, she cried, got a little angry and we talked some more. I let her know that I still loved her with everything I had but that it was becoming a real problem. I offered to walk with her and go to the gym and to help us learn to eat better and it worked!! not once was I mean about it I was just honest and loving and she made the choice to get healthy. It was a lot of work I had to give up some of my free time and give up snack foods but one year later I have my wife back and I feel great and so does she.

It was not easy being honest but I decided that before I made a big mistake and cheated and maybe lost her it was better to try and talk about it. I know it hurt her a little but how much more hurt would she have been in had I cheated or left? And thats what I told her after a few days she realized that as well and thanked me for being honest. Since then I have had 2 friends who took my lead with their wives and both also have wives who are working on slimming down. One buddy refused to work out with his wife and she stopped trying but once he went back to working with her the weight loss came back again.

Weight loss is not easy more so for a woman who has kids and a house to clean cooking and jobs what little free time my wife had she wanted to spend with me and instead of me seeing that she needed me I just figured she could do it on her own. By working with her it strengthened our relationship we still got that time together that she craved and she lost the weight.

when you get married dude its for better or worse if your wife needed help with projects you would help so why would weight loss be any different? Instead of hating her weight and yourself for being a jerk tell her the truth and make a change. If you don't give her the chance to change then why are you blaming her? You should be blaming yourself for not helping
3 posts removed
killthatnoise

Tacoma, WA

#92 Oct 13, 2014
Change wrote:
<quoted text>And I am sure you are just a big hot hunk. Look in the mirror.Maybe she feels the same way about you.
That sounds like a angry fat girl response ..you mad cuz cookies and ice cream added up to fat ass and no man.....in you dont like fat then be honest if she dont wanna change then start sleepin on the couch but maybe the best thing is to be a healthy example in diet and exercise and if that dont get it ...well

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