im cheating on my wife and want to stop

im cheating on my wife and want to stop

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NEED HELP

South Hill, VA

#1 Jan 19, 2012
I'm cheating on my wife who I really love.... And I want to stop but the other person says she will tell her if I do.... It happened and I ALREADY KNKW IT'S WRONG...... But any advice on how to fix it.... I don't want to hurt my wife.... Again I know I should not have do it and I'm a jerk for doin it now I'm trying to fix it..... Just lost

Level 2

Since: Jan 11

Hurricane, WV

#2 Jan 19, 2012
You're going to have to tell your wife something. You can either take the initiative or wait, but sooner or later you're going to have to lie or tell the truth to your wife.

Telling the truth isn't nearly as bad as you'd think. At least you'll be respected for it.
just wondering

United States

#3 Jan 19, 2012
Tell ur wife before she hears it from the other woman....it'll be hell but better to hear it from you

“New one man.”

Level 4

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#4 Jan 19, 2012
If you are for real. Tell her. Don't make excuses and don't blame her, for whatever. Tell her how it started and that you can't keep it up and why,(you love her)and tell her you can never respect yourself if you are not honest with her now. I mean how is she ever going to trust you, you have to help her have a reason to, right?
Then get ready, because she isn't going to say 'oh honey that's ok I understand.
Shock
Betrayal
Long nights imagining what you and the other girl did.
The yuck factor
Then she will be po'd
She is going to need time to process this and it isn't going to take a week or a month.

Offer to go to counseling to 'get thru it'.

Then go to the beotch that was cheating with a married man and tell her the gig is up.
ynot

Huntington, WV

#5 Jan 19, 2012
come clean... you will have a better chance. if you truely loved your wife.. you'd learn to exhibit a little self control and keep your pants on...
NEED HELP

South Hill, VA

#6 Jan 19, 2012
MixedMedia wrote:
If you are for real. Tell her. Don't make excuses and don't blame her, for whatever. Tell her how it started and that you can't keep it up and why,(you love her)and tell her you can never respect yourself if you are not honest with her now. I mean how is she ever going to trust you, you have to help her have a reason to, right?
Then get ready, because she isn't going to say 'oh honey that's ok I understand.
Shock
Betrayal
Long nights imagining what you and the other girl did.
The yuck factor
Then she will be po'd
She is going to need time to process this and it isn't going to take a week or a month.

Offer to go to counseling to 'get thru it'.

Then go to the beotch that was cheating with a married man and tell her the gig is up.
I agree but I can't just blame the other one it took both of us to do it and I was the one married not her.... It's just driving me insane..... I never ment for it to happen it just did. That's not an excuse...... I just don't want her to kill me or leave me...... Or both
Bax

United States

#7 Jan 19, 2012
You dont want to give the fling any power what so ever. Tell your wife, take the power of blackmail out from under that broad.
What r friends 4

Huntington, WV

#8 Jan 19, 2012
If your wife is hot, I'll sleep with her for you 2 times so that way you'll feel much better and maybe she won't kick your @ss to the curb when you tell her.
ohno

Avella, PA

#9 Jan 19, 2012
You guys are all wrong. If the fling was hot enough to mess around with in the first place, then just keep it up. You have already become an adulterer, so why the guilt now? Just keep going like you were before and eventually she will get bored with you and find someone else. Or, just have her killed. Either way, the guilt is no worse than it already is and you can have your cake and eat it too.

“New one man.”

Level 4

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#10 Jan 19, 2012
NEED HELP wrote:
I'm cheating on my wife who I really love.... And I want to stop but the other person says she will tell her if I do.... It happened and I ALREADY KNKW IT'S WRONG...... But any advice on how to fix it.... I don't want to hurt my wife.... Again I know I should not have do it and I'm a jerk for doin it now I'm trying to fix it..... Just lost
Oh, and btw,it is hard to imagine how you 'really love' your wife.
I also find it interesting that you had no desire to 'fix it' until the 'other woman' threatened to tell on you.

Sorry to be so harsh, I probably am not a good person to be advising you, having been in your wife's position in the past.
I hope you can work it out.

“New one man.”

Level 4

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#11 Jan 19, 2012
NEED HELP wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree but I can't just blame the other one it took both of us to do it and I was the one married not her.... It's just driving me insane..... I never ment for it to happen it just did. That's not an excuse...... I just don't want her to kill me or leave me...... Or both
It's good you want to also take the responsibility, but she is equally to blame unless you lied to her about being married, which you either didn't or she found out.
I understand how it just happened. But you say 'cheating' like it has gone on, not just a one timer. Which is an entirely different situation.
James

Charleston, WV

#12 Jan 19, 2012
Don't worry about your wife. I've been taking care of her. Haven't you noticed how much weight she's lost. Dude that is so good coochie.
Oh Yeah

South Hill, VA

#13 Jan 19, 2012
I'm a woman n I would rather hear it from my husband rather then the next b!tch.. Either way it's going to hurt but the sooner u tell her the better!!!
Justtsayinn

United States

#14 Jan 19, 2012
NEED HELP wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree but I can't just blame the other one it took both of us to do it and I was the one married not her.... It's just driving me insane..... I never ment for it to happen it just did. That's not an excuse...... I just don't want her to kill me or leave me...... Or both
Stop making excuses you coward & tell youre wife. you did.mean to do it & yes you were the one who is married so it was sorta kinda your responsiblity from letting your penis accidently fall into another woman repeatedly. Grow some balls & tell your wife & hopefully shes smart enough to leave you or lock you in a basement to keep it from happening again.
Rita

Clay, WV

#15 Jan 19, 2012
ohno wrote:
You guys are all wrong. If the fling was hot enough to mess around with in the first place, then just keep it up. You have already become an adulterer, so why the guilt now? Just keep going like you were before and eventually she will get bored with you and find someone else. Or, just have her killed. Either way, the guilt is no worse than it already is and you can have your cake and eat it too.
This is so bad,but I was thinking the same thing.lmao
joker

United States

#16 Jan 19, 2012
MixedMedia wrote:
<quoted text>Oh, and btw,it is hard to imagine how you 'really love' your wife.
I also find it interesting that you had no desire to 'fix it' until the 'other woman' threatened to tell on you.

Sorry to be so harsh, I probably am not a good person to be advising you, having been in your wife's position in the past.
I hope you can work it out.
Mixed has an excellent point. You've only started to be concerned when you thought you were going to be caught.
I cheated on almost every girl I ever went out with until I met who would become my wife. She cheated on me and I felt what I had done so many times before.
It's just not cool to be that way my man. It's selfish, and arrogant. Thinking you can do that, and I'm sure even rationalized it.
Like Mixed: I'm not trying to be harsh but first take a look at why you did it to begin with. Tell your wife, you owe her that much, you owe her the truth. Finally, get some counseling. Something's not right and you need to learn to be an honest loving partner to your wife.
joker

United States

#17 Jan 19, 2012
MixedMedia wrote:
<quoted text>Oh, and btw,it is hard to imagine how you 'really love' your wife.
I also find it interesting that you had no desire to 'fix it' until the 'other woman' threatened to tell on you.

Sorry to be so harsh, I probably am not a good person to be advising you, having been in your wife's position in the past.
I hope you can work it out.
By the way ladies: if you're interested.. I'm 6'3, 198. Blonde shoulder length hair and blue eyes. Goatee and beard, slim build. Gainfully employed, no kids. Great sense of humor and I don't use drugs nor drink. If interested let me know
<wink wink>
Rita

Clay, WV

#18 Jan 19, 2012
joker wrote:
<quoted text>
By the way ladies: if you're interested.. I'm 6'3, 198. Blonde shoulder length hair and blue eyes. Goatee and beard, slim build. Gainfully employed, no kids. Great sense of humor and I don't use drugs nor drink. If interested let me know
<wink wink>
Somebody had better snap you up fast!lol if not I'm leaveing my husband right now.LOL

“New one man.”

Level 4

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#19 Jan 19, 2012
Yeah I'm keeping mine too, sorry Joker.
NEED HELP

Boynton Beach, FL

#20 Jan 19, 2012
MixedMedia wrote:
<quoted text>It's good you want to also take the responsibility, but she is equally to blame unless you lied to her about being married, which you either didn't or she found out.
I understand how it just happened. But you say 'cheating' like it has gone on, not just a one timer. Which is an entirely different situation.
well she didn't say she was goin to tell my wife until I told her I didn't want to do it anymore. I know I'm the jerk and the a** hole and I deserve whatever my wife does.... And the other girl knew I was married but she is single. I take full responsibility for what I did I just so don't want to hurt her...... But I don't want to lie to her anymore....she I a great lady and really deserves better. I just don't know what to do.....

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