Should I Confess My Affair Or Live With The Guilt

Posted in the Huntington Forum

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I accidentally cheated

Miami, FL

#1 Nov 8, 2012
I don't know what to do. I love my husband but I messed up and accidentally cheated on him with a co-worker.

I stupidly believed that my co-worker was my soul mate, but I now know that my husband is. It happened 3 times over the last 2 weeks.
1 post removed
for real

United States

#3 Nov 8, 2012
Don't admit it. It will just ruin your marriage. He may forgive you but he'll never forget and the rest of your marriage will have that dark cloud hanging over top of it of he does t leave you for it now.
Ralph

Lubbock, TX

#4 Nov 8, 2012
Your best bet is to not admit it, but make damn sure it never happens again. Granted you will feel guilty, but it will pale in comparison to telling and the consequences. Yes people SHOULD face the consequences for their actions but if you can get away with it in this particular situation, keep your mouth shut and devote yourself the way a wife should be.
Ralph

Lubbock, TX

#5 Nov 8, 2012
P.S. there is no "accidentally" when it comes to cheating. Just leave that word out. We already think the worst of you and saying it was accidental helps nothing.
ex husband

Lavalette, WV

#6 Nov 8, 2012
for real wrote:
Don't admit it. It will just ruin your marriage. He may forgive you but he'll never forget and the rest of your marriage will have that dark cloud hanging over top of it of he does t leave you for it now.
There is no marriage any more. she ruined it when she "accidentally" let he co-worker in her vajayjay.

How does someone accidentally have cheat with a coworker? Did her pants and panties accidentally fall off? Did her legs accidentally spread open? Did her coworker accidentally fall and slip into her private area?

Her husband deserves to know the truth instead of being bound to a wh0re the rest of his life.
Come clean

Miami, FL

#7 Nov 8, 2012
Tell him the truth. He deserves the truth at the very minimum.
Come clean

Miami, FL

#8 Nov 8, 2012
I think I know who you are btw. I think we work in for the same company.
Sourceoneltd

Bronx, NY

#9 Nov 8, 2012
Wow. Your a real trip lady. TELL HIM the truth and if he keeps you, you better be at his beckoned call the rest if your life.
Sourceoneltd

Bronx, NY

#10 Nov 8, 2012
*of
wowie

Proctorville, OH

#11 Nov 8, 2012
apparently you are missing something in ur relationship with your husband or you wouldnt have cheated, if you truly LOVED your husband you wouldnt have let it go that far,you would have said NO! sorry, 3 times no accident... you need to tell your husband your not happy and you cheated, your not being fair to him, he has feelings too, expect the worst you deserve it
Back off people

Dallas, TX

#12 Nov 8, 2012
She did not come here to be judged, she is looking for advice. Someone help her out.
Becky White

Huntington, WV

#13 Nov 8, 2012
Welfare fraud in ohio/wv is a big deal. Stop worring about topix.
Kimberly

Kansas City, MO

#14 Nov 8, 2012
Love your husband and don't look back "God will forgive but a husband never forgets ""
Joe blow

Huntington, WV

#15 Nov 8, 2012
wives never forget either
once scorned

United States

#16 Nov 8, 2012
If you don't tell your spouse, what makes you think someone else who knows about your affair won't?
Ralph

Lubbock, TX

#17 Nov 8, 2012
Back off people wrote:
She did not come here to be judged, she is looking for advice. Someone help her out.
I gave out a option. Is it morally the right thing to do? No. She did say that she feels that her husband is her soul mate. It took a huge mistake on her part to realize that but that's what she said. If she truly regrets what she did, and knows she will never do it again, not confessing the affair to her husband would be the best thing to do as far as trying to keep hold of her current love and life. Yes she should have thought about that before she did what she did but those are the facts and this is an option for her to take that doesn't involve tearing her husbands life apart. But I say this with huge emphasis on the "never going to do this again and act like a wife should" part.
xyz

Huntington, WV

#18 Nov 8, 2012
It depends... if you want out of the marriage then tell him you cheated... if you want to stay married to him and have any hope for a long and happy marriage then live with the guilt and hope that he never finds out. You can recover from guilt, he will never recover if you confess.
Ralph

Lubbock, TX

#19 Nov 8, 2012
once scorned wrote:
If you don't tell your spouse, what makes you think someone else who knows about your affair won't?
That IS a factor that could totally change the game. Does anyone besides the two parties involved know? How much do they know? Would they be the kind of person to go tell the husband?(now if its a friend or relative of the husband that's one thing, but I was referring to the kind of people that have no stake in the relationship and would do it out of pure malice) Would this be a person that the husband would believe? If it is someone that the husband would believe and she knows that they are going to tell and he will believe them, then my original advice goes out the window. If THIS was the case, then she needs to be the first one to tell him. It all depends on who knows what and will they tell.
Idk

Huntington, WV

#20 Nov 8, 2012
Seriously? I don't know what "I accidentally cheated"'s motivation is, but does anyone really believe:
1. She cheated by "accident" (what does that even mean?) And, she did it three times!(Did the guy wear a mask and pretend to be her husband, or what?)
2. That she has had some sort of epiphany, after 2 weeks and 3 adulterous encounters, that her lover is not really her "soul mate" and that her poor husband is? Really? I'd really love to hear what she thinks the phrase "soul mate" means.

I'm betting the guy she cheated with has/is going to kick(ed) her sorry cheating a$$ to the curb.

In any event, it should not be up to her to decide whether her husband should continue in a marriage with a cheater. If her husband was really her "soul mate" as she now claims, she wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes, make love to him and lie in bed next to him at night living a lie.

I call bullsh!t on her. Don't know what she's up to, but her story has plenty of holes in it.
I accidentally cheated

Bronx, NY

#21 Nov 8, 2012
I did not have time to elaborate earlier because I was at work.

My husband has not really "listened" to me when I wanted to talk about my day. He hasn't told me I was pretty or bought me flowers for a long time.

I foolishly let my judgement become clouded because my coworker listened to me and acted like he cared. He obviously used my emotions to get one thing from me. Now that the affair is over, I realize how lucky I am to have my husband. I am afraid if he finds out, he will leave me and break up our family. I don't want my children to grow up in a broken home.

I am scarred, and so very sorry.

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