Racy question for men.
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Racy Wife

Addison, NY

#1 Jan 22, 2013
I am married and my husband and I have a pretty healthy sex life. I know I still do it for him and he does a good job pleasing me. But, since we first got together I have tried to let him know that I am a pleaser. I can practically get there just thinking about him getting exactly what he wants, how he wants, and WHEN he wants. We end up having sex pretty often anyway but I know there are times that he has wanted some head or wanted a different sexual position or sex itself and hasn't let me know or gotten it because I've said something about being tired or not feeling well and even when we do have sex, if he wants me to do ANYTHING or change positions or whatever I have told him to NOT EVEN ASK, MAKE ME. You get what I am saying? I'm not saying I literally want him to rape me but I'll admit that the idea of that or at least him getting pretty aggressive and demanding, just totally forgetting about what feels good for me and just doing whatever, however, whenever he wants to me and I guess "talking dirty", telling me how he is in control and taking what he wants, HELL, JUST WRITING IT GETS ME HOT! I am smaller than him and like I said he always wants to make sure I am enjoying it and no matter what I say or do it's like I can't get him to JUST TAKE IT! He says he is afraid he will hurt me or I won't enjoy it or he will force me when I really don't want him to and I am glad he wants to make me happy and make sure I get as much pleasure as him and I am also glad he is concerned with me being happy and not truly forceful or abusive or whatever but I just can't seem to get across to him that if he does something I really do not want him to do or I am not enjoying it then I will get the point across. But, no matter what I just can't get him to take complete control. Do you guys get what I am trying to say and do you have any suggestions?
my name aint earl

Franklin, KY

#2 Jan 22, 2013
I'm gonna have to rub one out and I'll get back to you
Yeah

Logan, WV

#3 Jan 22, 2013
What about a safe word?

Make is something outrageous like Bismark or something like that.

And just let me say your husband is one lucky man.

That is hot!

;)
big

Conneaut Lake, PA

#4 Jan 23, 2013
Racy Wife wrote:
I am married and my husband and I have a pretty healthy sex life. I know I still do it for him and he does a good job pleasing me. But, since we first got together I have tried to let him know that I am a pleaser. I can practically get there just thinking about him getting exactly what he wants, how he wants, and WHEN he wants. We end up having sex pretty often anyway but I know there are times that he has wanted some head or wanted a different sexual position or sex itself and hasn't let me know or gotten it because I've said something about being tired or not feeling well and even when we do have sex, if he wants me to do ANYTHING or change positions or whatever I have told him to NOT EVEN ASK, MAKE ME. You get what I am saying? I'm not saying I literally want him to rape me but I'll admit that the idea of that or at least him getting pretty aggressive and demanding, just totally forgetting about what feels good for me and just doing whatever, however, whenever he wants to me and I guess "talking dirty", telling me how he is in control and taking what he wants, HELL, JUST WRITING IT GETS ME HOT! I am smaller than him and like I said he always wants to make sure I am enjoying it and no matter what I say or do it's like I can't get him to JUST TAKE IT! He says he is afraid he will hurt me or I won't enjoy it or he will force me when I really don't want him to and I am glad he wants to make me happy and make sure I get as much pleasure as him and I am also glad he is concerned with me being happy and not truly forceful or abusive or whatever but I just can't seem to get across to him that if he does something I really do not want him to do or I am not enjoying it then I will get the point across. But, no matter what I just can't get him to take complete control. Do you guys get what I am trying to say and do you have any suggestions?
let me know when you need some serious attention. i will take control and make you get on your knees , and talk dirty to you.
Reel Nizza

Martinsburg, WV

#5 Jan 23, 2013
Racy Wife wrote:
I am married and my husband and I have a pretty healthy sex life. I know I still do it for him and he does a good job pleasing me. But, since we first got together I have tried to let him know that I am a pleaser. I can practically get there just thinking about him getting exactly what he wants, how he wants, and WHEN he wants. We end up having sex pretty often anyway but I know there are times that he has wanted some head or wanted a different sexual position or sex itself and hasn't let me know or gotten it because I've said something about being tired or not feeling well and even when we do have sex, if he wants me to do ANYTHING or change positions or whatever I have told him to NOT EVEN ASK, MAKE ME. You get what I am saying? I'm not saying I literally want him to rape me but I'll admit that the idea of that or at least him getting pretty aggressive and demanding, just totally forgetting about what feels good for me and just doing whatever, however, whenever he wants to me and I guess "talking dirty", telling me how he is in control and taking what he wants, HELL, JUST WRITING IT GETS ME HOT! I am smaller than him and like I said he always wants to make sure I am enjoying it and no matter what I say or do it's like I can't get him to JUST TAKE IT! He says he is afraid he will hurt me or I won't enjoy it or he will force me when I really don't want him to and I am glad he wants to make me happy and make sure I get as much pleasure as him and I am also glad he is concerned with me being happy and not truly forceful or abusive or whatever but I just can't seem to get across to him that if he does something I really do not want him to do or I am not enjoying it then I will get the point across. But, no matter what I just can't get him to take complete control. Do you guys get what I am trying to say and do you have any suggestions?
Sounds like you need to sleep with a Detroit Higger monkey....they will make you! It won't be fun. Lol
idk

Huntington, WV

#6 Jan 23, 2013
I have to confess that I used to be like your husband. I would politely request things from my wife (and usually got shot down). Finally, about a year or so ago, when we were going through a bit of a rough patch. I was angry and decided that I was gonna stop being polite and was going to get a little more aggressive and edgy. Shocked the crap outta me, but she loved it. I would never have dreamed that things would go the way they have. I am now much more demanding and she is much more receptive.

The thing is, I genuinely did not realize she needed or wanted this. I thought my edgier games (nothing too far out) would freak her out. But, so far, she's been pretty enthusiastic. Maybe your husband feels like I did and is afraud that you will turned off or judgmental when he starts really expressing himself. Take baby steps. Next time you are together, in the heat of the moment, tell him very directly that you want him to flip you around into different positions, etc. and make sure you give him very positive reinforcement, during and after. Eventually, he will get more comfortable and you will hopefully end up with a beast!

Good luck.
Podre Gonzales

Martinsburg, WV

#7 Jan 23, 2013
idk wrote:
I have to confess that I used to be like your husband. I would politely request things from my wife (and usually got shot down). Finally, about a year or so ago, when we were going through a bit of a rough patch. I was angry and decided that I was gonna stop being polite and was going to get a little more aggressive and edgy. Shocked the crap outta me, but she loved it. I would never have dreamed that things would go the way they have. I am now much more demanding and she is much more receptive.

The thing is, I genuinely did not realize she needed or wanted this. I thought my edgier games (nothing too far out) would freak her out. But, so far, she's been pretty enthusiastic. Maybe your husband feels like I did and is afraud that you will turned off or judgmental when he starts really expressing himself. Take baby steps. Next time you are together, in the heat of the moment, tell him very directly that you want him to flip you around into different positions, etc. and make sure you give him very positive reinforcement, during and after. Eventually, he will get more comfortable and you will hopefully end up with a beast!

Good luck.
This is an example of why "good guys finish last". Women instinctually want to be dominated by men. It is in their DNA programming. Women are made to be owned much like cattle or pets. You should care for your woman just like you do your family pet. She should be well feed, provided for and rewarded when she does something great, and punished when wrong.

Men nowdays are just as or more feminine than their female counterparts. This allows the woman in many relationships to become dominate yet they cannot handle being in control. This is where all the problem starts.
idk

Huntington, WV

#8 Jan 23, 2013
Can't say that I agree with everything Mr. Gonzales said, but I will say that I feel like I am more respected in certain ways since I've taken a more aggressive stance.
Podre Gonzales

Martinsburg, WV

#9 Jan 23, 2013
idk wrote:
Can't say that I agree with everything Mr. Gonzales said, but I will say that I feel like I am more respected in certain ways since I've taken a more aggressive stance.
I know it may seem that I sound like a male pig. Since the women's lib movement which was designed to destroy the family unit, it was not at all to benefit women! I do not condone or encourage men to mistreat or disrespect their female mates. The Bible even states the male is the head of household. That is a great responsibility morally and financially.
Level 6

Since: Nov 11

Location hidden

#10 Jan 23, 2013
Yeah wrote:
What about a safe word?
;)
If you do this, I suggest you use "FLǕGGȦ ∂NKđ€&# 268;HIŒβǾL ʃÊN".

Props to anyone who gets this.
cain slang

Huntington, WV

#11 Jan 23, 2013
YFNA wrote:
<quoted text>If you do this, I suggest you use "FL&#469;GG&#550; &#8706;NK&#273;€& #268;HIŒ&#946;&#510;L &#643;ÊN".

Props to anyone who gets this.
I don't own a satanic ritual decipher manual...you explain those numbers since your well versed on this.
Level 6

Since: Nov 11

Location hidden

#12 Jan 23, 2013
cain slang wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't own a satanic ritual decipher manual...you explain those numbers since your well versed on this.
Haha, when I copied and paste the word it didn't look like that. It was the safeword from Eurotrip. I guess the foreign characters freaked Topix out.
lawz

Avella, PA

#13 Jan 23, 2013
Women always want a man who is in control. Don't be a prick, but definitely be assertive. She will do as she is told, I assure you
Racy Wife

Addison, NY

#14 Jan 23, 2013
YFNA wrote:
<quoted text>
Haha, when I copied and paste the word it didn't look like that. It was the safeword from Eurotrip. I guess the foreign characters freaked Topix out.
Hahaha, when I saw the orig. post I actually wondered if that was what happened but wasn't sure. LOL

What do you all think about just giving him this thread to read and see if that not only get's my point across but also let's him see that other men and women get that this isn't him being abusive or disrespectful, and that isn't what I want any way, it is just about being more aggressive and demanding in a sexual way, which for many people is a good thing. I would be a very good example of one of those people. Maybe then he wouldn't feel like he was doing something he shouldn't do. Thoughts?

And to the person suggesting a Detroit man, no thanks. I am not racist and I may be a little bit of a freak in the bedroom, but I am not into trash of any color and I am only into one man of any kind and that is my husband. Like I said, I don't literally want to be abused or raped and I would not enjoy being with a man that was like that, no matter what color they were. It is only hot, and VERY HOT IT IS, but only hot when it is my husband doing it and I know I can stop it if I want to, but I'll also admit it would take quite a bit from my husband for me to say "Bismark" or any other "safe" word. ;)

Level 3

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#15 Jan 23, 2013
I-69
BINGO!!!!!
1 post removed
gay guy

United States

#17 Jan 24, 2013
Great post and I would love to find a real man to do the same to and for me. We all have some freak in us and just need that someone special to bring it out in us. Your a very lucky lady and I thank you for sharing your story.
spfan

Chesapeake, OH

#18 Jan 24, 2013
YFNA wrote:
<quoted text>Haha, when I copied and paste the word it didn't look like that. It was the safeword from Eurotrip. I guess the foreign characters freaked Topix out.
Scotty doesn't know. Lol
Brad

Arlington, VA

#19 Jan 24, 2013
gay guy wrote:
Great post and I would love to find a real man to do the same to and for me. We all have some freak in us and just need that someone special to bring it out in us. Your a very lucky lady and I thank you for sharing your story.
too bad you're a guy!
hillbilly

United States

#20 Jan 24, 2013
Racy Wife wrote:
I am married and my husband and I have a pretty healthy sex life. I know I still do it for him and he does a good job pleasing me. But, since we first got together I have tried to let him know that I am a pleaser. I can practically get there just thinking about him getting exactly what he wants, how he wants, and WHEN he wants. We end up having sex pretty often anyway but I know there are times that he has wanted some head or wanted a different sexual position or sex itself and hasn't let me know or gotten it because I've said something about being tired or not feeling well and even when we do have sex, if he wants me to do ANYTHING or change positions or whatever I have told him to NOT EVEN ASK, MAKE ME. You get what I am saying? I'm not saying I literally want him to rape me but I'll admit that the idea of that or at least him getting pretty aggressive and demanding, just totally forgetting about what feels good for me and just doing whatever, however, whenever he wants to me and I guess "talking dirty", telling me how he is in control and taking what he wants, HELL, JUST WRITING IT GETS ME HOT! I am smaller than him and like I said he always wants to make sure I am enjoying it and no matter what I say or do it's like I can't get him to JUST TAKE IT! He says he is afraid he will hurt me or I won't enjoy it or he will force me when I really don't want him to and I am glad he wants to make me happy and make sure I get as much pleasure as him and I am also glad he is concerned with me being happy and not truly forceful or abusive or whatever but I just can't seem to get across to him that if he does something I really do not want him to do or I am not enjoying it then I will get the point across. But, no matter what I just can't get him to take complete control. Do you guys get what I am trying to say and do you have any suggestions?
You need to cut him off for about a week.lol
1 post removed
gay guy

United States

#22 Jan 24, 2013
Brad wrote:
<quoted text>
too bad you're a guy!
I get that response often from my st8 friends and acquaintances whether they're married or single and can only assume that there is something lacking in all of our intimate encounters. Sounds like the racy couple has gotten it right as far as I'm concerned. 8-)

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