Husband who strayed

Chicago, IL

#74 Aug 30, 2013
No sympathy here wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh, it's understood just fine. You betrayed your wife out of boredom. You got a case of the guilts and wanted to go back to pretending you have a shred of honor. Instead of privately telling your fling it's over, you act like a chickenshit and tell her at work. She takes it badly (I'm guessing you had told her you were starting to have feelings for her). Then you gleefully embarass and discredit her to her co-workers and employer. Sound about right?
Hello.

I did not betray my wife out of boredom. In fact, we had a decent marriage but it was lacking the excitement I felt with my affair partner.

Of course I feel guilty. I am also afraid the other woman will now ruin my marriage which is why I am being forced to lie about a lot of things.

The other woman chose to embarrass herself when she blew up at work. I cannot control how she reacted, that is 100% on her.

Yes, I did have what I thought were genuine feelings for her, but I now realize I was wrong. I still have a yearning to be with her again, but I have to bury that deep inside of me and hope in time it will fade away.

I am devoted to my wife now. I know the grass is not greener on the other side.
i cheated too

Lavalette, WV

#75 Aug 30, 2013
Husband who strayed wrote:
<quoted text>
Hello.
I did not betray my wife out of boredom. In fact, we had a decent marriage but it was lacking the excitement I felt with my affair partner.
Of course I feel guilty. I am also afraid the other woman will now ruin my marriage which is why I am being forced to lie about a lot of things.
The other woman chose to embarrass herself when she blew up at work. I cannot control how she reacted, that is 100% on her.
Yes, I did have what I thought were genuine feelings for her, but I now realize I was wrong. I still have a yearning to be with her again, but I have to bury that deep inside of me and hope in time it will fade away.
I am devoted to my wife now. I know the grass is not greener on the other side.
I understand where u are coming from. you will do better. do not listen to the haters. I cheated on my husband before and it was an awful burden of guilt to carry around. I stopped when I realized that the man I was sleeping with was not going to leave his wife. I realized I wanted my husband and no one else. It has been a long road to recovery but I never told my husband about my affair.
No sympathy here

Pittsburgh, PA

#76 Aug 30, 2013
Husband who strayed wrote:
<quoted text>
Hello.
I did not betray my wife out of boredom. In fact, we had a decent marriage but it was lacking the excitement I felt with my affair partner.
Of course I feel guilty. I am also afraid the other woman will now ruin my marriage which is why I am being forced to lie about a lot of things.
The other woman chose to embarrass herself when she blew up at work. I cannot control how she reacted, that is 100% on her.
Yes, I did have what I thought were genuine feelings for her, but I now realize I was wrong. I still have a yearning to be with her again, but I have to bury that deep inside of me and hope in time it will fade away.
I am devoted to my wife now. I know the grass is not greener on the other side.
You wrote that the passion had faded in your marriage and the affair excited you. To me that's the same as saying you were bored . You had an opportunity to spice things up for yourself and you took it.
The fling partner isn't going to ruin your marriage. You did that all on your own by having an affair.
Granted, the other woman should have better controlled her emotions, but you should have had the decency to have the conversation in private. My guess is you intentionally told her at work thinking you wouldn' t have to fully deal with the mess you made. You then try to make people think someone you supposedly care about is a liar, when you are the one being dishonest. In fact you seemed to revel in the fact your deception worked.
Man up and stop acting like a victim.
No sympathy here

Pittsburgh, PA

#77 Aug 30, 2013
i cheated too wrote:
<quoted text>
do not listen to the haters.
Just to clarify: I'm not hating on the fact that he had an affair. That's between him and the mirror. I'm hating on people that make poor decisions followed by more poor decisions. Then when things go south, they try to act like bad things just keep falling out of the sky and they have no choice but to act the way they do.
Husband who strayed

Glenview, IL

#78 Aug 30, 2013
No sympathy here wrote:
<quoted text>
You wrote that the passion had faded in your marriage and the affair excited you. To me that's the same as saying you were bored . You had an opportunity to spice things up for yourself and you took it.
The fling partner isn't going to ruin your marriage. You did that all on your own by having an affair.
Granted, the other woman should have better controlled her emotions, but you should have had the decency to have the conversation in private. My guess is you intentionally told her at work thinking you wouldn' t have to fully deal with the mess you made. You then try to make people think someone you supposedly care about is a liar, when you are the one being dishonest. In fact you seemed to revel in the fact your deception worked.
Man up and stop acting like a victim.
You are correct about everything except me telling her in a private setting. I thought she would be calmer with others around us. I was wrong.

I am not a victim. I am just a man trying to rebuild his life after this happened to me. I never planned it. It just happened and I am sorry.
No sympathy here

Pittsburgh, PA

#79 Aug 30, 2013
Husband who strayed wrote:
<quoted text>
I am not a victim. I am just a man trying to rebuild his life after this happened to me. I never planned it. It just happened and I am sorry.
I fully understand that sometimes stuff happens and we find ourselves not living up to our own ideals. I'm certainly not perfect. We all have to walk our own path. Best of luck on yours.
wildman

Apollo, PA

#80 Aug 30, 2013
co-worker wrote:
Its too late i found out today im pregnant and your gonna pay for all of this. i told you if you werent serious in the beginning not to get this started but you said you were very serious..... im going to give you 1 day to tell her or i will........
. It could be mine it was a tight ass
i cheated too

Lavalette, WV

#81 Aug 30, 2013
Husband who strayed wrote:
<quoted text>
You are correct about everything except me telling her in a private setting. I thought she would be calmer with others around us. I was wrong.
I am not a victim. I am just a man trying to rebuild his life after this happened to me. I never planned it. It just happened and I am sorry.
Don't be too hard on yourself. We all stumble at times. My thoughts are with you.
Faithfool

Brooklyn, NY

#82 Aug 30, 2013
For all the posters who say they " stumbled" or "slipped up", I realize that we are all human and we make mistakes, but don't you think you owe it to your spouse to tell them the truth and let them decide whether they choose to try to work it out?
seriously

Saint Albans, WV

#83 Aug 30, 2013
Faithfool wrote:
For all the posters who say they " stumbled" or "slipped up", I realize that we are all human and we make mistakes, but don't you think you owe it to your spouse to tell them the truth and let them decide whether they choose to try to work it out?
No.
Faithfool

Brooklyn, NY

#84 Aug 30, 2013
seriously wrote:
<quoted text>
No.
Wrong answer.
Yeah

Branchland, WV

#85 Aug 30, 2013
rescare wrote:
<quoted text>
U must work for rescare lol
There's some really hot female managers on the Barboursville side of Rescare. Just take a look.
Hot

Branchland, WV

#86 Aug 31, 2013
rescare wrote:
<quoted text>
U must work for rescare lol
Rescare women rock
xxniteprincessxx

Verona, PA

#87 Aug 31, 2013
Faithfool wrote:
For all the posters who say they " stumbled" or "slipped up", I realize that we are all human and we make mistakes, but don't you think you owe it to your spouse to tell them the truth and let them decide whether they choose to try to work it out?
I wouldn't.
1 post removed
WTF

South Point, OH

#89 Aug 31, 2013
Husband who strayed wrote:
I am lost.
I am having an affair with a woman who is much younger than me. I work with her. I have been married for a long time (20+years).
My wife has not really done anything to cause me to stray, but there is a lack of passion between us. I want to cut it off with the younger woman but I feel so alive when we are together. It is crazy. The conversations, the touching. It is so passionate but on the other hand, I do not want to hurt my wife.

IM GOING TO STOP YOU RIGHT HERE ITS A LITTLE TO LATE TO SAY YOU DONT WANT TO HURT HER CAUSE IF YOU DIDNT WANT TO HURT HER YOU WOULD OF ENDED IT WITH HER BEFORE YOU LET IT GET ANY FURTHER THEN JUST A CONVERSATION WITH THIS OTHER GIRL

Idk why I am on here venting, but I can't tell anyone I know about this.

YOU JUST ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION YOUR ON HERE CAUSE YOU CANT TELL ANYONE THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE AND THATS WHAT TOPIX IS GOOD FOR HIDING BEHIND A COMPUTER....

How can I get rid of these feelings of excitement I have for my co-worker?

YOU CANT MAKE YOURSELF FEEL ANYTHING DIFFERENT THEN WHAT YOUR HEART WANTS.....

I want my marriage to feel like this again.

IF YOU WANTED YOUR MARRIAGE TO FEEL LIKE THAT THEN YOU SHOULD OF HAD THAT TALK WITH YOUR WIFE WHO KNOWS MAYBE SHE WANTS IT TOO BUT DIDNT SAY ANYTHING JUST LIKE YOU...

Grrr. I hate this.

i DONT THINK THAT YOU COMPLETELY HATE IT CAUSE YOU DONT SEEM LIKE YOU HAVE ENDED IT WITH THIS CO-WORKER OF YOURS....

MY THOUGHTS THIS IS PRETTY SHITTY WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY CONFESS BEFORE IT GETS WORSE ON YOU CAUSE EVEN IF YOU END IT AND DONT TELL HER ITS MORE THEN LIKELY THIS OTHER GIRL MAY GET PISSED AND TELL HER HERSELF SO EITHER WAY YOU BETTER BE HONEST I MEAN IF IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND WOULDNT YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH ITS GOING TO HURT HER PERIOD YOU JUST STEPPED OUT ON SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU AND DEVOTES HER LIFE TO YOU SO ITS NOT GOING TO BE EASY BUT YOU MADE YOUR DECISION AND NOW YOU SHOULD DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES....IF SHE LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO LET IT GO YOU BETTER NOT SCREW IT UP CAUSE THERES NOT ALOT OF WOMEN OUT THERE THAT WOULD LET THAT SHIT FLY AND IF SHE DOES LEAVE YOU WELL YOU KNEW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN YOUR A GROWN MAN YOU KNEW THERE WOULD BE CONSEQUENCES TO YOUR ACTIONS
trippin

Saint Albans, WV

#90 Aug 31, 2013
WTF wrote:
Husband who strayed wrote:
I am lost.
I am having an affair with a woman who is much younger than me. I work with her. I have been married for a long time (20+years).
My wife has not really done anything to cause me to stray, but there is a lack of passion between us. I want to cut it off with the younger woman but I feel so alive when we are together. It is crazy. The conversations, the touching. It is so passionate but on the other hand, I do not want to hurt my wife.
IM GOING TO STOP YOU RIGHT HERE ITS A LITTLE TO LATE TO SAY YOU DONT WANT TO HURT HER CAUSE IF YOU DIDNT WANT TO HURT HER YOU WOULD OF ENDED IT WITH HER BEFORE YOU LET IT GET ANY FURTHER THEN JUST A CONVERSATION WITH THIS OTHER GIRL
Idk why I am on here venting, but I can't tell anyone I know about this.
YOU JUST ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION YOUR ON HERE CAUSE YOU CANT TELL ANYONE THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE AND THATS WHAT TOPIX IS GOOD FOR HIDING BEHIND A COMPUTER....
How can I get rid of these feelings of excitement I have for my co-worker?
YOU CANT MAKE YOURSELF FEEL ANYTHING DIFFERENT THEN WHAT YOUR HEART WANTS.....
I want my marriage to feel like this again.
IF YOU WANTED YOUR MARRIAGE TO FEEL LIKE THAT THEN YOU SHOULD OF HAD THAT TALK WITH YOUR WIFE WHO KNOWS MAYBE SHE WANTS IT TOO BUT DIDNT SAY ANYTHING JUST LIKE YOU...
Grrr. I hate this.
i DONT THINK THAT YOU COMPLETELY HATE IT CAUSE YOU DONT SEEM LIKE YOU HAVE ENDED IT WITH THIS CO-WORKER OF YOURS....
MY THOUGHTS THIS IS PRETTY SHITTY WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY CONFESS BEFORE IT GETS WORSE ON YOU CAUSE EVEN IF YOU END IT AND DONT TELL HER ITS MORE THEN LIKELY THIS OTHER GIRL MAY GET PISSED AND TELL HER HERSELF SO EITHER WAY YOU BETTER BE HONEST I MEAN IF IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND WOULDNT YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH ITS GOING TO HURT HER PERIOD YOU JUST STEPPED OUT ON SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU AND DEVOTES HER LIFE TO YOU SO ITS NOT GOING TO BE EASY BUT YOU MADE YOUR DECISION AND NOW YOU SHOULD DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES....IF SHE LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO LET IT GO YOU BETTER NOT SCREW IT UP CAUSE THERES NOT ALOT OF WOMEN OUT THERE THAT WOULD LET THAT SHIT FLY AND IF SHE DOES LEAVE YOU WELL YOU KNEW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN YOUR A GROWN MAN YOU KNEW THERE WOULD BE CONSEQUENCES TO YOUR ACTIONS
Don't listen to this person ^^^^

If there isn't proof then don't say 1 word about it. Live with the regret yourself but don't hurt your wife by letter her know the truth. Just my 2 cents. Good luck.
WTF

South Point, OH

#91 Aug 31, 2013
trippin wrote:
<quoted text>
Don't listen to this person ^^^^
If there isn't proof then don't say 1 word about it. Live with the regret yourself but don't hurt your wife by letter her know the truth. Just my 2 cents. Good luck.
SORRY BUT YOUR TWO CENTS ISNT WORTH TWO CENTS AND THERE IS PROOF THE OTHER GIRL DUHHH MOST GIRLS ARE DEVIOUS IN THERE OWN WAY AND ALL IT TAKES IS PISSING THE GIRL OFF AND SHE OUTS YOU SO THERES MY THOUGHT BETTER SAFE THEN SORRY IF SHE FINDS OUT BY SOMEONE ELSE ITS NOT ONLY GOING TO HUMILIATE HER BUT ITS GOING TO HURT WORSE SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN A CHEATER...GOODLUCK YEAH HES DEFF. GOING TO NEED IT IF HE LISTENS TO YOU
trippin

Saint Albans, WV

#92 Aug 31, 2013
WTF wrote:
<quoted text>
SORRY BUT YOUR TWO CENTS ISNT WORTH TWO CENTS AND THERE IS PROOF THE OTHER GIRL DUHHH MOST GIRLS ARE DEVIOUS IN THERE OWN WAY AND ALL IT TAKES IS PISSING THE GIRL OFF AND SHE OUTS YOU SO THERES MY THOUGHT BETTER SAFE THEN SORRY IF SHE FINDS OUT BY SOMEONE ELSE ITS NOT ONLY GOING TO HUMILIATE HER BUT ITS GOING TO HURT WORSE SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN A CHEATER...GOODLUCK YEAH HES DEFF. GOING TO NEED IT IF HE LISTENS TO YOU
He's said repeatedly there's no proof. He got rid of pre paid cell and sounds like the other chick is going to come off sounding like she's an obsessed stalker or something if she tries to tell his wife. If she cant prove it she'll just look crazy. Just my opinion.
magic act

Vandergrift, PA

#93 Aug 31, 2013
Why are the posts by the op disappearing? I can see where people are quoting the op but cant see the original posts. Anyone know?
WTF

South Point, OH

#94 Aug 31, 2013
same here i only see what was quoted thats what i went by and trippin i see nothing saying that there is no proof he got rid of pre paid cell phone or whatever and you must be a guy cause any girl who gets told by another girl is not going to think the girl is crazy why would she have any reason to make up shit especially if she can prove what he looks like underneath it all.....idk i really dont give a shit about it that much all im saying is do the right thing everyone has an opinion hes going to do whatever he wants anyways so this is my last post on this forum im out

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