Oh, it's understood just fine. You betrayed your wife out of boredom. You got a case of the guilts and wanted to go back to pretending you have a shred of honor. Instead of privately telling your fling it's over, you act like a chickenshit and tell her at work. She takes it badly (I'm guessing you had told her you were starting to have feelings for her). Then you gleefully embarass and discredit her to her co-workers and employer. Sound about right?
I did not betray my wife out of boredom. In fact, we had a decent marriage but it was lacking the excitement I felt with my affair partner.
Of course I feel guilty. I am also afraid the other woman will now ruin my marriage which is why I am being forced to lie about a lot of things.
The other woman chose to embarrass herself when she blew up at work. I cannot control how she reacted, that is 100% on her.
Yes, I did have what I thought were genuine feelings for her, but I now realize I was wrong. I still have a yearning to be with her again, but I have to bury that deep inside of me and hope in time it will fade away.
I am devoted to my wife now. I know the grass is not greener on the other side.