Husband - How Can I Tell Him I Am Not...

Husband - How Can I Tell Him I Am Not Straight

Posted in the Huntington Forum

Coming Out

Netherlands

#1 Dec 9, 2013
Need some advice on how to let my husband know I am gay.

I thought that getting married and having a child would cause me to become "normal" but after 3 years, I know I am incapable of changing.

It sickens me knowing I am going to hurt him and split up our family, but I feel like I am dying inside.

We are both working professionals and our child is 18 months old so I think that she will be ok and adjust to this sooner than a teenager would.

Looking for help, not bashing.
wowserz

Saint Albans, WV

#2 Dec 9, 2013
Coming Out wrote:
Need some advice on how to let my husband know I am gay.
I thought that getting married and having a child would cause me to become "normal" but after 3 years, I know I am incapable of changing.
It sickens me knowing I am going to hurt him and split up our family, but I feel like I am dying inside.
We are both working professionals and our child is 18 months old so I think that she will be ok and adjust to this sooner than a teenager would.
Looking for help, not bashing.
Think this out. Might be a phase you're going through. It's going to hurt your husband no doubt.
Herd 91

Charleston, WV

#3 Dec 9, 2013
You sure you're not from Morgantown, WV? This is a very common question among them.

We are...Marshall
Lycan

Huntington, IN

#4 Dec 9, 2013
Coming Out wrote:
Need some advice on how to let my husband know I am gay.
I thought that getting married and having a child would cause me to become "normal" but after 3 years.... Looking for help, not bashing.
You can start by telling him how horrible of a human being you are. I`m sure the rest will follow naturaly.
maybe

Chesapeake, OH

#5 Dec 9, 2013
Coming Out wrote:
Need some advice on how to let my husband know I am gay.
I thought that getting married and having a child would cause me to become "normal" but after 3 years, I know I am incapable of changing.
It sickens me knowing I am going to hurt him and split up our family, but I feel like I am dying inside.
We are both working professionals and our child is 18 months old so I think that she will be ok and adjust to this sooner than a teenager would.
Looking for help, not bashing.
Find a friend with benefits and neither of you tell anyone. Win/win situation.
Repent

Charleston, WV

#6 Dec 9, 2013
Go to church repent and hope and pray god still loves you. As long as you are diddling with the same sex he won't even acknowledge you
emily

Huntington, WV

#7 Dec 9, 2013
Repent wrote:
Go to church repent and hope and pray god still loves you. As long as you are diddling with the same sex he won't even acknowledge you
Omg. Go away u troll. Can't believe u could even type that
im a man

Harrison City, PA

#8 Dec 9, 2013
Keep your mouth shut. It would be crushing to have my wife tell me something like this. You took a vow, stick with it.
Gosh

Huntington, WV

#9 Dec 9, 2013
Be true to yourself.
Army Chick

Huntington, WV

#10 Dec 9, 2013
OMG, that's a pretty big deal! Not flaming you, but omg, why didn't you just NOT get married. Look at the mess you are going to be in. Phew, just when you think you have read it all on here.
rachel

Oakvale, WV

#11 Dec 9, 2013
Maybe you are just bi. Let him do you both win win for evrryone. What guy wouldn't want to watch his wife eat a lil poontang
Coming Out

Netherlands

#12 Dec 9, 2013
I am not bi lol.

I do not have a gf, I just am not attracted to men. Never really was, but my husband is an awesome guy and great friend and outstanding father. I just do not see myself being with a man the rest of my life.

I am not some weird perv, I just am attracted to women. I have tried to hide my feelings my whole life and yes I feel terribly guilty and ashamed. I hate it that I love him, but am not "in love" with him.

If I thought I could change, I would try to stay, but I am afraid of the future and hurting him and our child by prolonging an inevitable outcome.
I have the answer

Charleston, WV

#13 Dec 9, 2013
Just tell him the truth as best you know. Find the right time after the holidays and sit down with him and say there is something really important we ned to discuss and then talk.

Anybody whether it be man or woman would rather be hurt with the truth than a lie. Once you get it out in the open with him you'll find it wasn't that hard in the first place. Never is.

the truth goes a long way. Goodluck and God Bless.
Bull Butter

Huntington, WV

#14 Dec 9, 2013
Slip you mother in law the tongue..Gaurantee he'll know real quick

Since: Dec 13

United States

#15 Dec 9, 2013
Maybe just tell him....sugar coat it with how amazing he is and how much you love him, and that you should have been honest from the beginning, but you truly hope u 2 can stay just as close.....if he really understands then maybe you guys can still raise ur child together as best friends maybe even roommates.....I would if my man told me he was gay, unless of course he started dating another girl.....then I'd be pissed lol
holding pattern

Saint Albans, WV

#16 Dec 9, 2013
Be sure before you tell him. Seek professional help. Seek guidance from someone other that us idiots on topix.
1 post removed
outcome

Latrobe, PA

#18 Dec 10, 2013
Whatd u d cide 2 do
Been There

Johnstown, PA

#19 Dec 18, 2013
Tell him the truth! I was married for 19 years before my wife told me the truth. I wish she would have told me years ago or before we got married. You will hurt him but it is better for both of you if you tell him. It will take time he will find someone who can love him the way a straight female can. Good luck I feel for you both!

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