Rural Areas Offer Guides to Newcomers
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#1 May 24, 2007
For New York Visitors to Amish Country:
1. Lower your voices by about 99 decibels, especially your women.
2. Men, don't be such wimps to your wives. If appears to us that they control your every move.
3. Stop teaching your kids to be such sissies.It seems that when one of your kids falls and scratches a knee, it's a life-threatening illness.
4. Stop butting in line.
5. Stop making faces and smart remarks under your breath about people. Here, if we have something to say, we say it loud enough for the other person to hear. But then, it's not as usually as rude as what you say.
6. Pick up after yourselves. You leave our place a mess.
7. Please don't let your children wear inappropriate clothing for their age, which it appears is all they have.
8. Cell phones ARE NOT cool in local restaurants. Believe it or not, people from around here go out to lunch or dinner to relax.
9. Keep your kids from sneezing on the buffet lines, sticking their hands in, and taking ten times more than they can eat. It says,all you CARE to eat, not ALL your kids can waste.
10. Don't ask every person if they are Amish.
If we aren't wearing hot polyester in the middle of summer, it stands a good chance that we're not.
10. Please don't follow buggies so that you can try to look in their back windows. The rest of us have to get to work so we can serve your every need, wait on you hand and foot, and listen to you complain incessantly.
That's enough for one session. Wouldn't want to make you think you're unappreciated.
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