What are your best jokes?
District 1

Ewa Beach, HI

#144 Jun 21, 2013
More laughs from Phoenix, AZ.
Professor Tanaka

Phoenix, AZ

#145 Jun 21, 2013
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study why Jewish women like Chinese food so much.

The study revealed it is due to the fact that "won ton" spelled backwards is "not now".

.

.Judge it--- clueless to the tenth power....:)
District 1

Ewa Beach, HI

#146 Jun 21, 2013
A Hawaiian, a Filipino and a Japanese plan a party for their retiring friend.

The Hawaiian plans the entertainment, the Filipino says he'll cook all the food.

Ignacio says, "Hiroshi, you anal-retentive Japanee so you in charge of planning and supplies."

On the day of the party, Hiroshi sets up everything perfectly, including a cake with a girl inside.

Kimo asks, "Eh, Hiroshi. What wit da big cake?"

Hiroshi says, "Get one preety girlu insai. When guest of honor come, she jump out and yell,'SUPPLIES!'"
Francine

Honolulu, HI

#147 Jun 21, 2013
Joe Balls wrote:
Two teenage girls wanted to go to the big dance on Friday but had no ride, so one suggested the other girl borrow her dad's car. The girl responded, "My dad won't loan me the car unless I do something to earn it." The friend said, "Then offer to blow your dad." The first girl thought about it and decided that the dance was that important, so she offered to give her dad head, which he was all too ready for. So as she was doing the deed, he came in her mouth and she exclaimed, "Dad your dick tastes like shyt!" Dad then said, "Thanks for reminding me, your brother has the car on Friday."
you are one sick, twisted fck!

Since: Feb 13

Honolulu, HI

#148 Jun 21, 2013
Lork wrote:
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Golden oldie.
and y did the other monkey fall out of the tree?monkey see monkey do.hehehehehehohohohohho

Since: Feb 13

Honolulu, HI

#149 Jun 21, 2013
ok 2 potogee drivin 2 da airport,they come to 1 big sign said airport left so dey turn around and went home.ccchhheeee hhhooooooo

Since: Feb 13

Honolulu, HI

#150 Jun 21, 2013
k 3nuns went die dey sta at heavens gate,a voice said 2 dem before you enter each of you must answer a question? he ask da 1st 1 who was the 1st man on earth? nun said "adam" he said correct you may enter.2nd nun he ask who was the 1st woman on earth? she said "eve" correct you may enter.3rd nun,he ask what was the 1st thing eve said to adam?the nun scratch her head and said ho that's a hard one. correct you may enter.ccchhheeeee hhhoooooo
Pau

Since: Jan 11

Honolulu, HI

#151 Jun 21, 2013
District 1 wrote:
A Hawaiian, a Filipino and a Japanese plan a party for their retiring friend.
The Hawaiian plans the entertainment, the Filipino says he'll cook all the food.
Ignacio says, "Hiroshi, you anal-retentive Japanee so you in charge of planning and supplies."
On the day of the party, Hiroshi sets up everything perfectly, including a cake with a girl inside.
Kimo asks, "Eh, Hiroshi. What wit da big cake?"
Hiroshi says, "Get one preety girlu insai. When guest of honor come, she jump out and yell,'SUPPLIES!'"
There's really no need for anyone to post more jokes after yours. Nothing can match it. Truly a thing of beauty. Well done.
Francine

Honolulu, HI

#152 Jun 22, 2013
How do you make pickled bread?

You use dill dough.

Since: Feb 13

Honolulu, HI

#153 Jun 22, 2013
k 1 russian,1hawaiian,and 1japanise.dey stay in 1 lifeboat but da ting sta sinking da russian he wen grab 1 case vodka cho em ova boad and said ahh back in russah we have plan t vodka,den da japanise said o yea he grab 2 cases of sake and cho em ova boad ahh back in japan we have plan t sake, den da russian and da japanise was lokking at da hawaiian. den da hawaiian wen grab da japanise cho em ova boad da russian wen go what u doing da hawaiian said ahh back in hawaii get plan t japanise.ccccchhhheeeee hhhhoooooooo
Hyena 4

Anonymous Proxy

#154 Jun 22, 2013
bigpoi wrote:
<quoted text>and y did the other monkey fall out of the tree?monkey see monkey do.hehehehehehohohohohho
no quit your day job.

Joe Balls

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#155 Jun 22, 2013
A farmer liked working his fields all day with his mule, because it got him a way from his nagging wife. One day, as he was taking a break, his wife drove up and brought a picnic basket. As they were eating, she started nagging again, when suddenly the mule jumped and kick her with tow feet, killing her instantly.

At the funeral, the priest noted that as the women guests were talking to the farmer, he was nodding, but when the male guests spoke, he was shaking his head. Curious, the minister waited until after the service and asked the farmer what was going on. "Well, said the farmer, the women were telling me what a good woman she was and all that." "And what were the men asking you that you kept shaking your head? asked the minister. "They were asking if I'd sell the mule."
District 1

Ewa Beach, HI

#156 Jun 23, 2013
Bob was an engineer and a lifelong philanderer and overall jerk. When he died, St. Peter sent him to Hell.

Hell's a/c was busted for 6,000 years, as were the escalators. The TVs only play infomercials and since 1985, reruns of The Brady Bunch (it's Hell, after all).

Unbeknownst to Satan, Bob decides to fix the a/c, unjam the escalators, and install pirated cable and satellite TV. Since Satan enjoys watching Korean soaps and free porn, he lets Bob slide.

The Lord hears that sinners are happily enjoying eternity in Hell, sipping maitais, visiting each other, and watching porn. So, He decides to check it out. He texts Satan:
"Dude. I thought you were into making damned souls suffer. What this about a/c and porn?"

"Wut up, God? Things are great now that you sent us Bob the Engineer."

"No way. We never send you engineers. Send him back to Pete for reprocessing."

Satan texts back, "Screw that. We like him."

God demands, "If you don't send him up here, there is going to be BIG trouble!"

The Devil texts back, "So sue me. Where you gonna get a lawyer?"
district won ton

Phoenix, AZ

#157 Jun 23, 2013
ITíS JUST ME AN' LEROY
A guy stopped at a local gas station, and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and watched a couple of men working along the roadside.
One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind him and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was 25 feet behind filling in the hole. The men worked right past the guy with the soft drink and went on down the road.
"I can't stand this," said the man tossing the can into a trash container and headed down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with all this digging and refilling?"
"Well, we work for the government and we're just doing our job," one of the men said.
"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the taxpayers' money?"
"You don't understand, mister," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there's three of us: Me, Elmer and Leroy. I dig the hole, Elmer sticks in the tree, and Leroy here puts the dirt back. You see with the government sequestering, they are not buying any more trees so Elmer's job's been cut ... so now it's just me an' Leroy.
District 1

Ewa Beach, HI

#158 Jun 23, 2013
More government commentary from Scottsdale, AZZ.
Kabong

Pioneer, CA

#159 Jun 23, 2013
pau and joe balls got married, had a child and named it ai.
Auntie Kabong

Honolulu, HI

#160 Jun 23, 2013
Yuck. the smuck.
District 1

Ewa Beach, HI

#162 Jun 24, 2013
A Pochogee gets stranded on an elevated, divided freeway during rush hour, so he starts walking along the freeway back to the 911 call box he just passed, but finds it's been vandalized and doesn't work.

Just then he sees another Pochogee using the call box on the other side of the freeway. He yells, "HEY! HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SIDE?"

The second Pochogee yells back,"YOU STUPID O' WOT?? YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE!"
Kabong

Anonymous Proxy

#164 Jun 24, 2013
Best place to hide money in one haole house. Under the soap.

Joe Balls

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#165 Jun 24, 2013
Best place to hide money in a local's house. Under his work boots.

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