Investigation in train death awaiting toxicology testresults
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#1 Nov 13, 2006
If you were on the train platform on Thursday, please please please post your observations of that dreadful morning. Think very carefully about what you saw -- were you really watching? Or did you just see Paul out of the corner of your eye or after he already was struck by the train? Can you be sure that he did not trip or fall? Get dizzy and collapse? Paul was a wonderful man, full of conviction, positive energy, compassion, dignity, verve, confidence, and life. It simply is inconceivable that he would take his own life.
#2 Nov 9, 2012
I was not there, but the male experience of depression in society is drastically different than women’s. Men are conditioned as young boys to never show weakness. It is not surprising that men will cover their emotions. Not to be overly clinical, but what I find most notable is the manner of his death. Although suicide is also seen as weakness in our culture, men (such as veterans) choose the more “masculine” method, since it falls more consistently within the social moray of the male experience. This means that a more brutal method can be subconsciously used to mask the assumption of weakness built into our culture regarding male suicide. For example, many male veterans commit suicide by head gunshot, while women will try to be as “clean” as possible, like taking pills.
I’m sorry for your traumatic loss. If it’s any condolence, I think he would want you to move forward.
#3 Nov 9, 2012
We may never know of sure. Often these things are cultural and organic based. The spouse must not blame herself. Society must change it’s attitudes toward accepting the male experience of vulnerability. Best to remember him in life.
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