Someone tell me why please

Posted in the Highview Forum

need to know

United States

#1 Jan 21, 2013
Why after so many years, all that we have been through marriage, giving birth to your children, cooking, cleaning, taking care of everything in your life, working a full time job, everything!!!! Why do I find crap on your phone....replying to personal ads on craigslist. When I found them time had already passed by....Why would you do this to me? To our family? To your children? Even though you say it never went farther than your one reply...how do I believe you? Am I just suppose to take your word for it? How can I forget and move on and trust you again? Will I be able too? Someone please help me!!! I don't know what to do!!! Or how to feel!!!
spartan

Louisville, KY

#3 Jan 22, 2013
need to know wrote:
Why after so many years, all that we have been through marriage, giving birth to your children, cooking, cleaning, taking care of everything in your life, working a full time job, everything!!!! Why do I find crap on your phone....replying to personal ads on craigslist. When I found them time had already passed by....Why would you do this to me? To our family? To your children? Even though you say it never went farther than your one reply...how do I believe you? Am I just suppose to take your word for it? How can I forget and move on and trust you again? Will I be able too? Someone please help me!!! I don't know what to do!!! Or how to feel!!!
There's a lot of people lookin' for the answer to that one kiddo.I personally believe that the answers aren't really all that elusive,,,but always difficult to see because they're never pretty to look at.Bottom line is though,if you've been with him for any kind of time,then you shouldn't have to just take his word for anything because your "female intuition'(spidey-sense),,,sho uld make you more than aware of the reality of your situation.Settling on whether he's lying or not is only half the equation though.If you do make your mind up with one-hundred percent certainty that your guy is a liar and a cheat,,,then you have to decide if your hate for him trumps your passion for the family unit as a whole.And I don't believe that anyone other than the Lord can help you with that one.Possibly could have been a one time curiosity and nothing more.Good luck either way though.
ohhhhhhhhhboy

Louisville, KY

#4 Jan 22, 2013
if he did it one time he will do it again just think of all the stuff that you have not found out about

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#5 Jan 22, 2013
Women do ” KNOW” things, however we can also make a mountain out of a mole hill at times as well. I can tell you one thing for sure, no one has ever stopped a would be cheater by being jealous and accusatory, that usually just pushes them to do whatever their tiny mind are already thinking they want to do. I say tiny because when a woman is pursuing a married or committed man, his mind shrinks... Women can be so calculating and know just what buttons to push, so of you're on the other end pushing the wrong buttons while she's pushing the right ones,.common sense will fly out the window and s cheater will soar out. Oh that felt good, haven't done any real counseling in a while.
However it is bittersweet, I've seen the pain this causes many families. I suggest you look at yourself and ask, its he worth fighting for and what is causing him to even consider flying out that window. If he's already flown, you cannot clip his wings and simply hope he won't fly again. Some marriages have survived infidelity, with help from therapy, counseling and there HAS TO, NO EXCEPTION, had to have been a great great love for one another at one point or it won't work.
I hope your mind is just working over time, or he is just being ” tested” of that's the case, fight for your love and show him why he loved you so much to begin with .... Hope this helps
Please don't be mean to her anyone, I've seen the STRONGEST.of women be reduced to rubble at times like this so don't add insult to injury.

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#6 Jan 22, 2013
SPARTAN... I have another appointment in grand ole Lou. Today, shall I wave as I ride thru or will I be flipped the bird this time lol.just kidding kiddo, I'll wave anyway :)
need to know

United States

#7 Jan 22, 2013
thank you Spartan and Honey Bee, I have been down this road before, we didnt have a great marriage and things got ugly. We actually divorced and were apart for sometime but somehow we made it back together. Things had been great as far as I knew/thought....Never suspected cheating but knew he looked at porn and that kind of stuff. Alot of men do and it wasnt a big shocker to find out. I started noticing lots of strange numbers on my phone bill which would lead me to look up on whitepages.com . Then that led me to actually look at his phone. I would see bulk messages from dating sites...all pretty much the automated spam but also leads me to believe that he had to have looked. Then found the email where he replied to a craigslist personal ad. Didnt see where she ever responded back, that was the only one. Of course he listed height, weight, area he lived in, said he was in a "RELATIONSHIP" and it would have to be during the day/weekends...We never remarried after the divorce but have been back for well over 5 years. We act like, say we are married, wear rings and all. I dont know, now I cant quit looking at the phone bill, etc...I think that this is making me crazy!! Guess I need to out weigh my options. I dont have to stay for any reason as financials are not an issue. I told him the night I found this what I had found, I actually even read to him out of the blue. He made no excuses, said he only responded that one time. Thats it! I told him the trust is gone, and it is....out the window! Thanks guys for listening to my gripes...and not being a@@$#....Have a good one!

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#8 Jan 22, 2013
need to know wrote:
thank you Spartan and Honey Bee, I have been down this road before, we didnt have a great marriage and things got ugly. We actually divorced and were apart for sometime but somehow we made it back together. Things had been great as far as I knew/thought....Never suspected cheating but knew he looked at porn and that kind of stuff. Alot of men do and it wasnt a big shocker to find out. I started noticing lots of strange numbers on my phone bill which would lead me to look up on whitepages.com . Then that led me to actually look at his phone. I would see bulk messages from dating sites...all pretty much the automated spam but also leads me to believe that he had to have looked. Then found the email where he replied to a craigslist personal ad. Didnt see where she ever responded back, that was the only one. Of course he listed height, weight, area he lived in, said he was in a "RELATIONSHIP" and it would have to be during the day/weekends...We never remarried after the divorce but have been back for well over 5 years. We act like, say we are married, wear rings and all. I dont know, now I cant quit looking at the phone bill, etc...I think that this is making me crazy!! Guess I need to out weigh my options. I dont have to stay for any reason as financials are not an issue. I told him the night I found this what I had found, I actually even read to him out of the blue. He made no excuses, said he only responded that one time. Thats it! I told him the trust is gone, and it is....out the window! Thanks guys for listening to my gripes...and not being a@@$#....Have a good one!
Sounds like you know just what to do. Good luck to you! Remember, always love yourself first in these situations :) keep us posted. PS, you ate not crazy...people always try to convince others of that. I hope for better days ahead for you!
sick beaches

Shepherdsville, KY

#9 Jan 22, 2013
Your both crazy!

“GAME OVER”

Since: Jan 13

Shepherdsville, KY

#10 Jan 23, 2013
sick beaches wrote:
Your both crazy!
we are all crazy each in our way except me im just plain out insane, psyco, and crazy GAME OVER

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