smartphones help cheat

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Scorned

Alton, IL

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#1
Sep 16, 2012
 
So I have come to realize that cheaters never change. You can add gps on your partners phone and you can block people who they promise to have no contact with. You work so hard to rebuild trust to just get it torn down again. Smartphones have way to many communication apps that are seemingly untraceable and apparently there are ways to get around gps. Note to any other person dealing with similar issues beware. If your partner cheats and you two want to make it work then make them prove it. But please be aware there is false sense of security I found in my efforts.
they

United States

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#2
Sep 16, 2012
 
They have to want to change. Phone or not. CHEATERS can CHANGE if they want to not when they're forced to. Clearly they're not happy. You're clearly not happy. Move on.
Scorned

Alton, IL

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#3
Sep 16, 2012
 
Well we tried for a litte over year. Was told change would be made and it appeared like it had but then the 3rd party would somehow always come back into play somehow. I think I finally just hit my limitations when I found out how contact was being sneakishly made. I am not even made at the 3rd party. I am sure they we being hurt and deceived as well.
they

United States

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#4
Sep 16, 2012
 
It's better to move on, forgive, don't forget and live your life for you. The cheating party said they'd change but I'm sure it was a ploy to get you off their back. Actions are the only way to gain trust and as long as you feel the need to control every aspect of their life in order to trust them you're truly just torturing yourself. Been where you are, left and he asked for his 2nd chance. He had to prove it, he offered to give up his phone and all social networks, that was unrealistic to me. We have kids but that doesn't mean cheating needs to be put up with, I'd rather deal with knowing my kids' whereabouts instead of making myself sick over my spouse's. He did change, been 2 years since his last indiscretion. I learned to cope with the fact that the past can't be changed and only I can give myself the gift of closure. I now trust him with everything, we are 100xs happier. Sometimes losing it all opens your eyes but both parties need to be willing to open their eyes and realize everyone is flawed including themselves. Good luck don't settle if you can't cope, if every time they leave, your mind fills with doubts, free yourself.
they

United States

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#6
Sep 16, 2012
 
I would say it definitely sucks to rebuild trust especially if of continues to get torn back down. In your case I believe if you put up with it they will just continue on the lying and cheating. I just don't understand why people choose to maintain a relationship when they'd rather be out with others. They might never change and I don't think you should wait around for it to happen
confused

Vienna, MO

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#7
Sep 17, 2012
 
Scorned wrote:
Well we tried for a litte over year. Was told change would be made and it appeared like it had but then the 3rd party would somehow always come back into play somehow. I think I finally just hit my limitations when I found out how contact was being sneakishly made. I am not even made at the 3rd party. I am sure they we being hurt and deceived as well.
Don't you have FREIND to talk to this about? Seems kinda weird to express your feelings on Highland Topix? Guess you already did this on your Facebook page as well. Good God!
Scorned

Alton, IL

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#8
Sep 17, 2012
 
Sure I have friends but they aren't impartial. And no this is not on my Facebook. I posted this on here without naming any party leaving it all anonymous for good reason. I want honest opinion. Not your typical bashing topic so I do appologize. This is real life. My life
observed

Saint Ann, MO

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#9
Sep 17, 2012
 
You can have the best tracking devices and they can still find a way to cheat if they are going to do it. I hope you find happiness with someone else who appreciates and loves you. Life is too short to have to live a unhappy marriage and one that you worry about his wherabouts. YOU DERSERVE BETTER!
observed

Saint Ann, MO

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#10
Sep 17, 2012
 
Deserve better not derserve. I am sure the critics will catch that and call me out on it!
nope

Highland, IL

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#11
Sep 17, 2012
 
Sounds like there is something wrong with you. Of you have someone cheating on you, that, seems to me, that you are not keeping your partner satisfied enough. Lol. Try going down once in a while.
they

Pocahontas, IL

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#12
Sep 17, 2012
 
nope wrote:
Sounds like there is something wrong with you. Of you have someone cheating on you, that, seems to me, that you are not keeping your partner satisfied enough. Lol. Try going down once in a while.
Or you have no idea how relationships work.
William Wilken

Edwardsville, IL

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#13
Sep 17, 2012
 
Scorned wrote:
So I have come to realize that cheaters never change. You can add gps on your partners phone and you can block people who they promise to have no contact with. You work so hard to rebuild trust to just get it torn down again. Smartphones have way to many communication apps that are seemingly untraceable and apparently there are ways to get around gps. Note to any other person dealing with similar issues beware. If your partner cheats and you two want to make it work then make them prove it. But please be aware there is false sense of security I found in my efforts.
10.000 b.c. man club,women long hair,drag to cave,good.
really

Alton, IL

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#14
Sep 17, 2012
 
I mean, do you really want to be in a relationship where you have to track your partner. The thought of using a gps on your phones is a sure sign that you guys aren't meant to be together.
Scorned

Alton, IL

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#15
Sep 18, 2012
 
Well no but when you have kids with someone and you put so much time into something it's hard to walk away. We have decided to live separately. I can't be with someone knowing they are in love with someone else. What would that teach my children? If I stay then I fear that they will find themselves in unhealthy relationships as adults and that is something I refuse to allow happening if I can help it at all. Thanks for the kind words and not making this seek for help a joke as some other forums get to be. I finally am seeing some clarity.
yes

Vienna, MO

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#16
Sep 27, 2012
 
Scorned wrote:
Well no but when you have kids with someone and you put so much time into something it's hard to walk away. We have decided to live separately. I can't be with someone knowing they are in love with someone else. What would that teach my children? If I stay then I fear that they will find themselves in unhealthy relationships as adults and that is something I refuse to allow happening if I can help it at all. Thanks for the kind words and not making this seek for help a joke as some other forums get to be. I finally am seeing some clarity.
mean are cheaters!!!! Yes smart phones help them cheat. Been there done that!
yes

Vienna, MO

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#17
Sep 27, 2012
 
Scorned wrote:
Well no but when you have kids with someone and you put so much time into something it's hard to walk away. We have decided to live separately. I can't be with someone knowing they are in love with someone else. What would that teach my children? If I stay then I fear that they will find themselves in unhealthy relationships as adults and that is something I refuse to allow happening if I can help it at all. Thanks for the kind words and not making this seek for help a joke as some other forums get to be. I finally am seeing some clarity.
oops Men*
they

Excelsior Springs, MO

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#18
Sep 27, 2012
 
yes wrote:
<quoted text>
mean are cheaters!!!! Yes smart phones help them cheat. Been there done that!
Hmm. Its funny that the original poster never disclosed their gender. Both genders cheat. I know of plenty women who run around behind their significant others back. Its a BS double standard.
Scorned

Alton, IL

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#19
Sep 27, 2012
 
No I didn't specify out of respect for my family and gender didn't really matter. I just wanted opinion and clarity.
Marty McFly

Troy, IL

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#20
Sep 28, 2012
 
I know of at least one person that's talked about a lot on here that could use that smartphone app!
Highlander

Glen Carbon, IL

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#21
Sep 28, 2012
 
Marty McFly wrote:
I know of at least one person that's talked about a lot on here that could use that smartphone app!
Who??

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