I'm Back Bitches!
ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD

Miami, FL

#1 Feb 14, 2013
DEAD?! ME? GET THE F--K OUT OF HERE. I AM BACK. HARDER THAN EVER. ESTELLE DROPPED DEAD AROUND THE POOL AREA OF HER CONDO A FEW MONTHS BACK. I GOT A FEW BUCKS FROM THE OLD MONEYBAG AND DECIDED TO TRAVEL. I FLEW TO QATAR AND STARRED ON THEIR VERSION OF " THE BACHELOR" FOR A FEW MONTHS. THREE OF THE CONTESTANTS GAVE ME A NASTY VENERIAL DISEASE SO I AM NOW UP TO 24 1/2 STDs IN CASE ANYONE IS KEEPING SCORE. I WAS TO MARRY A VIRGIN. BUT I WAS ABLE TO CQALL OFF THE WEDDING FOR A FEW CAMELS WHICH I LEFT BACK THERE.

I ALSO FINISHED FILMING THE MOVIE "BLOWJAB" ABOUT A GAY BOXER. IT WILL BE OPENING UP IN BATHHOUSES AROUND THE WORLD ON MARCH 3RD. IT IS MY FIRST FULL LENGTH FEATURE ROLL SINCE I DID "SAVING RYAN'S PRIVATES" BACK IN THE '90S.

I WILL BE HEADING DOWN TO HQ TO SEE IF IF CAAN GET MY OLD JOB BACK. THE PRESIDENT OF COSTA RICA WILL BE SENDING THE MIAMI BEACH MAYOR A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATON SINCE I SAVED SIX COSTA RICAN KIDS FROM DRONWING WHILE I MADE A PITSTOP THERE IN ORDER TO DO SOME SURFING AND FIND SOME NATURAL HERBAL REMEDIES FOR WHAT I THOUGHT WAS SYPHILLIS.......THANKFULLY IT WAS NOT. HOWEVER, MY SPEEDOES SMELL LIKE LINDBERGER CHEESE.

SO NOW THAT I AM BACK, HOW MANY OF YOU MARRIED CUBAN WOMEN MISSED ME? I BET YOUR HUSBANDS ARE NOW A BIT MORE ANXIOUS HUH?

MACHO IS HOME LADIES!
ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD

Miami, FL

#2 Feb 14, 2013
......BY THE WAY....HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL YOU HOOCHIES OUT THERE. I'D GIVE YOU ALL A KISS BUT THE COLD SORES ARE STILL DRYING. woooooo-wooooooo.
Dr Demento

Dunlap, TN

#3 Feb 14, 2013
Adam, watch out for the "Ricky Ricardo" husbands of the married Cuban women you did, as they are now having kids wanting to be Lifeguards.

“A REAL MAN OF COURAGE! ”

Since: Mar 11

Chinatown, New York

#4 Feb 14, 2013
Thank god...and I would if we had religion in China. But there is no god. There is only a lifeguard with Linderberger chesse stinking speedoes. The fish must love him. Welcome back Imperialist pig!
ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD

Miami, FL

#5 Feb 15, 2013
I AM HARDER THAN TRIGONOMETRY AND SEARCHING THE BEACHES FOR MORE MARRIED CUBAN WOMEN. THAT BEING SAID, I WILL BE AT THE CLEVELANDER AT NOON TODAY DOING A 1000 PUSHUP EXHIBITION FOLLOWED BY A WALK ACROSS THE STREET DEMANDING A STAND TO WORK FROM. I AM HERE TO SAVE LIVES AND LOVE WOMEN. SEE MY MACHO PHOTOS ON FACEBOOK.
Mitch

Miami, FL

#6 Feb 16, 2013
He's back!!! Great. Just what South Florida needs.
Mister 33140

Miami, FL

#7 Feb 16, 2013
What type of candy is Macho's favorite?

“A REAL MAN OF COURAGE! ”

Since: Mar 11

Chinatown, New York

#9 Feb 17, 2013
Mister 33140 wrote:
What type of candy is Macho's favorite?
Yes please tell. We sat awaiting great wisdom.
ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD

Miami, FL

#10 Feb 17, 2013
Stan Yenz wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes please tell. We sat awaiting great wisdom.
FAVORITE CANDY? SOURBALZZZ OF COURSE!
Dr Demento

Dunlap, TN

#11 Feb 17, 2013
Stan Yenz wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes please tell. We sat awaiting great wisdom.
Hey HopSing;
"Such is history, such is the history of civilization for thousands of years.
Mao Zedong

How is that for wisdom.......Adam will be known for a long time, and his offspring will be known the world over.
zombologist

Wellsboro, PA

#12 Feb 17, 2013
Any signs of zombies in China?
ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD

Miami, FL

#13 Feb 18, 2013
zombologist wrote:
Any signs of zombies in China?
ANY SIGNS OF JAPS ON SOUTH BEACH?

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