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Since: Jan 13
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In the morning conservative posts are usually judged with positive considerate ratings by the productive members of society, however, by the afternoon that changes because all the lazy ass obama supporters stirring from a nights stupor of alcohol and drugs are at their food stamp computers posting their wrath against any insinuation that they get up off their lazy asses and work for their welfare. White trash, black trash, it's all the same obama trash.
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Since: Jan 13
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McDingleberry wrote: Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poo- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my butt off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my butt cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks." Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my butt at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for butt-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my buttcheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your butt having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony. TIL keep that ass hair!! I must ask the readers, do you think there are actually three or more people who think the above vile perverse dung is funny as indicated by the judging? Or do you think that the dweeb author rated himself?
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Retard from Utica
Corinth, NY
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MacDaddyobama wrote: <quoted text> I must ask the readers, do you think there are actually three or more people who think the above vile perverse dung is funny as indicated by the judging? Or do you think that the dweeb author rated himself? I think he's a GREAT author ! You, on the other hand....is about as queer as an inbred redneck can get !
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Yup
Hillsboro, IL
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Since: Jan 13
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Retard from Utica wrote: <quoted text> I think he's a GREAT author ! You, on the other hand....is about as queer as an inbred redneck can get ! I believe you, what else would a moron think.
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Since: Dec 12
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The liberties of a people never were, nor ever will be, secure, when the transactions of their rulers may be concealed from them. Patrick Henry
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Since: Dec 12
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When the federal government spends more each year than it collects in tax revenues, it has three choices: It can raise taxes, print money, or borrow money. While these actions may benefit politicians, all three options are bad for average Americans.
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US Congress
Utica, NY
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obama vomit wrote: When the federal government spends more each year than it collects in tax revenues, it has three choices: It can raise taxes, print money, or borrow money. While these actions may benefit politicians, all three options are bad for average Americans. Average Americans have no say in this matter; the congress will handle this, thank you.
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Since: Dec 12
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US Congress wrote: <quoted text> Average Americans have no say in this matter; the congress will handle this, thank you. Only the average citizen who doesn't do his due diligence on the charector of the person he votes for and then never expresses his concerns to that elected official on matters that are important to the circumstances of himself and his family That is why we have the congress we have today, a nancy pelosi who says "We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it" You get the government you deserve, and unfortunately, we all have to suffer your stupidity.
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McDingleberry
Westbury, NY
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Hingle McCringleberry wrote: The liberties of a people never were, nor ever will be, secure, when the transactions of their rulers may be concealed from them. Patrick Henry I see your Henry and raise you a Dingleberry A cleanasshole is a healthyasshole. McDingleberry
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Since: Jul 12
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McDingleberry wrote: <quoted text> I see your Henry and raise you a Dingleberry A cleanasshole is a healthyasshole. McDingleberry Vile skunk, you don't even have the rudimentary intelligence to create your own nom de plume. How boring.
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Reality Check
Hicksville, NY
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Hingle McCringleberry wrote: The liberties of a people never were, nor ever will be, secure, when the transactions of their rulers may be concealed from them. Patrick Henry The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter -Churchill.
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Since: Jul 12
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Reality Check wrote: <quoted text> The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter -Churchill. Thank God, we are a Republic.
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Since: Dec 12
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Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper. What you do with this article now that you have read it... is up to you. This might be funny if it weren't so true. Be sure to read all the way to the end: Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table, At which he's fed. Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes Are the rule. Tax his work, Tax his pay, He works for peanuts anyway! Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat. Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work, Tax his dirt. Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he Tries to think. Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries Tax his tears. Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find other ways To tax his ass. Tax all he has Then let him know That you won't be done Till he has no dough. When he screams and hollers; Then tax him some more, Tax him till He's good and sore. Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave, Tax the sod in Which he's laid... Put these words Upon his tomb, 'Taxes drove me to my doom...' When he's gone, Do not relax, Its time to apply The inheritance tax. Accounts Receivable Tax Building Permit Tax CDL license Tax Cigarette Tax Corporate Income Tax Dog License Tax Excise Taxes Federal Income Tax Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) Fishing License Tax Food License Tax Fuel Permit Tax Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon) Gross Receipts Tax Hunting License Tax Inheritance Tax Inventory Tax IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax) Liquor Tax Luxury Taxes Marriage License Tax Medicare Tax Personal Property Tax Property Tax Real Estate Tax Service Charge Tax Social Security Tax Road Usage Tax Recreational Vehicle Tax Sales Tax School Tax State Income Tax State Unemployment Tax (SUTA) Telephone Federal Excise Tax Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax Telephone State and Local Tax Telephone Usage Charge Tax Utility Taxes Vehicle License Registration Tax Vehicle Sales Tax Watercraft Registration Tax Well Permit Tax Workers Compensation Tax STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
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cant be
Utica, NY
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Hingle McCringleberry wrote: Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper. What you do with this article now that you have read it... is up to you. This might be funny if it weren't so true. Be sure to read all the way to the end: Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table, At which he's fed. Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes Are the rule. Tax his work, Tax his pay, He works for peanuts anyway! Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat. Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work, Tax his dirt. Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he Tries to think. Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries Tax his tears. Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find other ways To tax his ass. Tax all he has Then let him know That you won't be done Till he has no dough. When he screams and hollers; Then tax him some more, Tax him till He's good and sore. Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave, Tax the sod in Which he's laid... Put these words Upon his tomb, 'Taxes drove me to my doom...' When he's gone, Do not relax, Its time to apply The inheritance tax. Accounts Receivable Tax Building Permit Tax CDL license Tax Cigarette Tax Corporate Income Tax Dog License Tax Excise Taxes Federal Income Tax Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) Fishing License Tax Food License Tax Fuel Permit Tax Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon) Gross Receipts Tax Hunting License Tax Inheritance Tax Inventory Tax IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax) Liquor Tax Luxury Taxes Marriage License Tax Medicare Tax Personal Property Tax Property Tax Real Estate Tax Service Charge Tax Social Security Tax Road Usage Tax Recreational Vehicle Tax Sales Tax School Tax State Income Tax State Unemployment Tax (SUTA) Telephone Federal Excise Tax Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax Telephone State and Local Tax Telephone Usage Charge Tax Utility Taxes Vehicle License Registration Tax Vehicle Sales Tax Watercraft Registration Tax Well Permit Tax Workers Compensation Tax STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. Way too much time on your hands.
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Since: Dec 12
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cant be wrote: <quoted text> Way too much time on your hands. Time is like a river flowing, what you see in front of you you will never see again, I didn't write the column, I denoted that Charlie Reese of the Sentinel did, btw, his last column I believe.
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McDingleberry
Brentwood, NY
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So here is my story of what happened to me last night. I'm sitting at my computer and I hear my dog start screaming like it is being attacked by a scorpion/narwhal. The dog fly's through the doggy door running like a mad dog. I then notice something is attacked to his butt, maybe a scorpion or some bug? My dog finally slows down enough to where I can get a good look at it, it was the infamous dingleberry. After holding my dogs tail up to get a good look of this piece of crap, I figure that I will probably have to pull it out manually so he doesn't get this crap on our carpet. So I go and get a paper towel and grab a hold of his tail, my wife heard all the commotion and came down to what I'm sure looked to be a odd sight. I quickly explained the situation and she held the dog so he wouldn't get away. So then I started to pull, oh no this was no a simple dingleberry that it seemed that it was. This thing felt it had a anchor inside of my dogs anus. So I give it a good tug and my dog starts wimpering (I would too if I was in this situation). The thing starts to move. Now I have a hold on the piece of string, but as I pull I have to grip HARD on this piece of string and it starts to come out. However to my surprise I realize the true cause of this dingleberry. My dog has these rope chew toys, and I guess he had swallowed some of the yarn that comes off of the chew toy. So I'm thinking crap, this could take a while. So I'm there pulling, the dog is whimpering and the massive yarn starts to come out, and its a HUGE piece. The thing keeps getting bigger! After pulling for a couple of minutes the huge piece finally starts to windle down and comes out more easily. After about 8 inches and like 5 minutes of my dog whimpering, the dingleberry is released from my dogs butt. Im standing there holding this 8 inches of poo covered yarn while my dog is running around as happy as can be. Damn you dingleberries!
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Since: Jan 13
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McDingleberry wrote: So here is my story of what happened to me last night. I'm sitting at my computer and I hear my dog start screaming like it is being attacked by a scorpion/narwhal. The dog fly's through the doggy door running like a mad dog. I then notice something is attacked to his butt, maybe a scorpion or some bug? My dog finally slows down enough to where I can get a good look at it, it was the infamous dingleberry. After holding my dogs tail up to get a good look of this piece of crap, I figure that I will probably have to pull it out manually so he doesn't get this crap on our carpet. So I go and get a paper towel and grab a hold of his tail, my wife heard all the commotion and came down to what I'm sure looked to be a odd sight. I quickly explained the situation and she held the dog so he wouldn't get away. So then I started to pull, oh no this was no a simple dingleberry that it seemed that it was. This thing felt it had a anchor inside of my dogs anus. So I give it a good tug and my dog starts wimpering (I would too if I was in this situation). The thing starts to move. Now I have a hold on the piece of string, but as I pull I have to grip HARD on this piece of string and it starts to come out. However to my surprise I realize the true cause of this dingleberry. My dog has these rope chew toys, and I guess he had swallowed some of the yarn that comes off of the chew toy. So I'm thinking crap, this could take a while. So I'm there pulling, the dog is whimpering and the massive yarn starts to come out, and its a HUGE piece. The thing keeps getting bigger! After pulling for a couple of minutes the huge piece finally starts to windle down and comes out more easily. After about 8 inches and like 5 minutes of my dog whimpering, the dingleberry is released from my dogs butt. Im standing there holding this 8 inches of poo covered yarn while my dog is running around as happy as can be. Damn you dingleberries! Touching story, and now you can register that new democrat to vote.
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McDingleberry
Plainview, NY
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MacDaddyobama wrote: <quoted text> Touching story, and now you can register that new democrat to vote. Sounds like someone ran out of his dingleberries for breakfast today.
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Massena
New York, NY
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