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Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#1 Nov 26, 2008
i went to the mall yesterday with my family. while there, i had to take a leak, so i went to the restroom. now i can see if you're a small child, or an elderly person, but for the love of christ, can someone explain to me who these 40 and 50 year old men are, who can't wait to get to the mall so they can take a $h1t. the whole restroom smells like a sewage treatment plant. i do that at home , usually in the morning. also, what the he11 are those noises coming from the stalls, the grunts, the groans. i don't make those noises in the privacy of my own home, much less a public restroom. have these guys ever heard of a stool softener? i don't know about you people, but i never touch anything in a public restroom. i use my shirt to open the door, i use my foot to lift the lid, and i use my foot to flush, and the one thing i never touch, is the faucett handle, that every other person that has used that bathroom that day has touched. i'm quite sure that what i was touching while using the restroom, my crank, was the cleanest thing in there, so i never feel the need to wash my hands after. now i know some people would say, "what if you have to shake someones hand afterwards", well i wouldn't want to shake anyones hand that has just touched the faucetts in a public restroom. in the 70's when i was a child, and my mother would tell me to wash my hands after using the restroom, i would. i would imagine back then, the restrooms were cleaned more often, and the man doing it probably showed a little pride in his work. i am sure that is not the case today. so what have we learned here today? 1. take a dump before you leave home. 2. don't taouch anything in the restroom. 3. don't strain so hard, you might get a hemorrhoid.
jarrett

Boise, ID

#2 Nov 26, 2008
You are just complaining because you didn't get any gay action. Tell it true, boy.
calmn cents wrote:
i went to the mall yesterday with my family. while there, i had to take a leak, so i went to the restroom. now i can see if you're a small child, or an elderly person, but for the love of christ, can someone explain to me who these 40 and 50 year old men are, who can't wait to get to the mall so they can take a $h1t. the whole restroom smells like a sewage treatment plant. i do that at home , usually in the morning. also, what the he11 are those noises coming from the stalls, the grunts, the groans. i don't make those noises in the privacy of my own home, much less a public restroom. have these guys ever heard of a stool softener? i don't know about you people, but i never touch anything in a public restroom. i use my shirt to open the door, i use my foot to lift the lid, and i use my foot to flush, and the one thing i never touch, is the faucett handle, that every other person that has used that bathroom that day has touched. i'm quite sure that what i was touching while using the restroom, my crank, was the cleanest thing in there, so i never feel the need to wash my hands after. now i know some people would say, "what if you have to shake someones hand afterwards", well i wouldn't want to shake anyones hand that has just touched the faucetts in a public restroom. in the 70's when i was a child, and my mother would tell me to wash my hands after using the restroom, i would. i would imagine back then, the restrooms were cleaned more often, and the man doing it probably showed a little pride in his work. i am sure that is not the case today. so what have we learned here today? 1. take a dump before you leave home. 2. don't taouch anything in the restroom. 3. don't strain so hard, you might get a hemorrhoid.
Jake

Schenectady, NY

#3 Nov 26, 2008
calmn cents wrote:
i went to the mall yesterday with my family. while there, i had to take a leak, so i went to the restroom. now i can see if you're a small child, or an elderly person, but for the love of christ, can someone explain to me who these 40 and 50 year old men are, who can't wait to get to the mall so they can take a $h1t. the whole restroom smells like a sewage treatment plant. i do that at home , usually in the morning. also, what the he11 are those noises coming from the stalls, the grunts, the groans. i don't make those noises in the privacy of my own home, much less a public restroom. have these guys ever heard of a stool softener? i don't know about you people, but i never touch anything in a public restroom. i use my shirt to open the door, i use my foot to lift the lid, and i use my foot to flush, and the one thing i never touch, is the faucett handle, that every other person that has used that bathroom that day has touched. i'm quite sure that what i was touching while using the restroom, my crank, was the cleanest thing in there, so i never feel the need to wash my hands after. now i know some people would say, "what if you have to shake someones hand afterwards", well i wouldn't want to shake anyones hand that has just touched the faucetts in a public restroom. in the 70's when i was a child, and my mother would tell me to wash my hands after using the restroom, i would. i would imagine back then, the restrooms were cleaned more often, and the man doing it probably showed a little pride in his work. i am sure that is not the case today. so what have we learned here today? 1. take a dump before you leave home. 2. don't taouch anything in the restroom. 3. don't strain so hard, you might get a hemorrhoid.
This made me laugh out loud, I hope to hear more bathroom humor! Well done
dooley

Boonville, NY

#4 Nov 27, 2008
when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. wait til you're in your 50's and taco bell becomes taco hell.

Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#5 Nov 27, 2008
dooley wrote:
when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. wait til you're in your 50's and taco bell becomes taco hell.
thats funny
Stinky Crap

AOL

#6 Nov 27, 2008
I was at a bar recently when someone opened the men's room door and everyone at the bar near the door scattered because of the smell. I felt sorry for the person that was going in there! What is it with men and stinky craps? Do the hold it for days or something?
Orange

West Leyden, NY

#7 Nov 27, 2008
A topic we all contemplate, yet until now, no one had the balls to bring forward. Kudos.
Name For That

Cicero, NY

#8 Nov 27, 2008
Dude, there is a name for you...PARANOID.

Just sqeeze your loaf at home and STOP SNIFFIN'
someone elses bowel business AND blogging about it.

I mean, seriously, WHO in their RIGHT MIND spends time even "contemplating" this...you are disturbed, indeed.

Call the people's lawyer for council...
Horrors

AOL

#9 Nov 27, 2008
Name For That wrote:
Dude, there is a name for you...PARANOID.
Just sqeeze your loaf at home and STOP SNIFFIN'
someone elses bowel business AND blogging about it.
I mean, seriously, WHO in their RIGHT MIND spends time even "contemplating" this...you are disturbed, indeed.
Call the people's lawyer for council...
A visit from Sphincter Boy! Yikes!
BLACKfag

Boise, ID

#10 Nov 27, 2008
Encourage the cretin and next he will describe barfing in glorious detail. Perhaps followed by a blow by blow of a prostate probe.
Orange wrote:
A topic we all contemplate, yet until now, no one had the balls to bring forward. Kudos.
Crank Talking

Cicero, NY

#11 Nov 28, 2008
Check your own smelly sphincter, as you are the one obsessed with bowel business...you are sick!

AND WHO doesn't wash their hands...YOU...Ewwwwww!

" my crank, was the cleanest thing in there, so i never feel the need to wash my hands after."

Sounds like you've got to spend time CRANKING that poor itty bitty up! DOUBLE Gross!!!
Becky

Boise, ID

#12 Nov 28, 2008
This topic is disgusting.
Kringle

AOL

#13 Nov 28, 2008
At least the stinkers ate a good meal. At least we are free to discuss this and other odious topics. Happy Holidays!

Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#14 Nov 29, 2008
BLACKfag wrote:
Encourage the cretin and next he will describe barfing in glorious detail. Perhaps followed by a blow by blow of a prostate probe.<quoted text>
why did you have to remind me of that? i remember it like it was yesterday, my first prostate exam. it was a cold and rainy morning. my doctor had a foreign last name, i can't remember the name, but after that exam, i was quite sure that in his native country, his last name meant, giant finger. right before the exam he brought in two interns, and asked if i would mind if they viewed the procedure. i thought to myself, what a great idea, next time my wife catches me watching porn, i can just say, "i'm viewing a procedure". as i lay there helpless, him lubed up, the other two watching wide eyed, i thought this must be what a young, first time porn star must feel like right before they yell action. it was a little embarrassing, but after all was said and done it wasn't too bad. the only thing that bothers me is, to this day i still remember looking back during the exam and seeing both his hands on my shoulders.
Kringle

AOL

#15 Nov 29, 2008
Probably one of the jobs worth not showing up for...cleaning public restrooms anywhere.

Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#16 Dec 3, 2008
sure that job is the dumps, but if you don't stall, urine your out, and it's over.

“Irish and Smiling”

Since: Oct 08

Herkimer, NY

#17 Dec 4, 2008
I don't think anyone could top you on that one, Calmn.
Candy

Boise, ID

#18 Dec 5, 2008
No one can top him, unless he gives a hot woman a mustache ride.

“Irish and Smiling”

Since: Oct 08

Herkimer, NY

#19 Dec 5, 2008
Wow. Left field.

Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#20 Dec 6, 2008
Irish Gabi wrote:
Wow. Left field.
i don't think it was left field they were talking about. i think it was south field, with the nice trimmed bush, right above the caverns.

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