marriage.....counseling....

Posted in the Henderson Forum

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Since: Apr 13

United States

#1 Jun 6, 2013
My wife and I have been married 7 years roughly. Two kids. She is always very cold and in unaffectionate....I get aggravated and gruff....then she gets more distant...I get more gruff. Sex is cold emotionless and scarce. I try talking to her and making a change in her and myself. But it seems like she doesn't want to. We have split up before and gotten back together. But I see the end in sight I think.
Has anyone done any counseling in the area with maybe a similar issue with any luck. Any recommendations or advice?
wild man

Henderson, TX

#2 Jun 6, 2013
wake un and smell the roses, she is no longer interested in you. She has got some one that is knocking the bottom out of her . the only thing that you were doing was making it stank. You need to find one your self that likes small peckers good luck buddy cause you will need it let her go
Love is tough

Spring, TX

#3 Jun 6, 2013
Ignore that idiot ^^^ have you tried the love dare or watched the movie fireproof? There is always hope so don't give up. Do you have kids?

Since: Apr 13

United States

#4 Jun 6, 2013
We have 2 kids. We have watched it together. I have tried some stuff...but get easily discouraged. I just want to feel loved and appreciated. Sometimes when I try and make her feel special she is still holding on to whatever it was were fighting over. She gives me the emotionless wall treatment even though I apologize and try and talk about it. Not that its her fault...but its hard for me to come and talk about these things and apologize. And when I do and I still get that numb treatment...its devastating. I feel like she doesn't love me enough to fix the problem. Then I keep it all in until it just erupts out and I say something hate full I don't really mean.
We are actually perfect for each other...we agree and get along on everything....except when it comes to sex or showing affection. That's usually what our fights stem from. I want more attention sexually and more affection..and she says I'm mean and cranky. Its a terrible cycle. I'm mean and cranky from no affection...and she gives no affection from me being cranky.
Usually me bringing up any if it just blows up into a fight...so I'm thinking counsel maybe
wild man

Henderson, TX

#5 Jun 6, 2013

Reply |Report Abuse|Judge it!|#32 hrs ago

Ignore that idiot ^^^ have you tried the love dare or watched the movie fireproof? There is always hope so don't give up. Do you have kids?

I am not an idiot I just tell it like it is I can read people by what they have to say. And east texan you have sugar in your tank there is no way a real man would write in a public forum with the emotions you have. Dont worry be happy punk

Find You a man to make you happy.
think

United States

#6 Jun 6, 2013
eastexman wrote:
We have 2 kids. We have watched it together. I have tried some stuff...but get easily discouraged. I just want to feel loved and appreciated. Sometimes when I try and make her feel special she is still holding on to whatever it was were fighting over. She gives me the emotionless wall treatment even though I apologize and try and talk about it. Not that its her fault...but its hard for me to come and talk about these things and apologize. And when I do and I still get that numb treatment...its devastating. I feel like she doesn't love me enough to fix the problem. Then I keep it all in until it just erupts out and I say something hate full I don't really mean.
We are actually perfect for each other...we agree and get along on everything....except when it comes to sex or showing affection. That's usually what our fights stem from. I want more attention sexually and more affection..and she says I'm mean and cranky. Its a terrible cycle. I'm mean and cranky from no affection...and she gives no affection from me being cranky.
Usually me bringing up any if it just blows up into a fight...so I'm thinking counsel maybe
. Haha
think

United States

#7 Jun 6, 2013
eastexman wrote:
We have 2 kids. We have watched it together. I have tried some stuff...but get easily discouraged. I just want to feel loved and appreciated. Sometimes when I try and make her feel special she is still holding on to whatever it was were fighting over. She gives me the emotionless wall treatment even though I apologize and try and talk about it. Not that its her fault...but its hard for me to come and talk about these things and apologize. And when I do and I still get that numb treatment...its devastating. I feel like she doesn't love me enough to fix the problem. Then I keep it all in until it just erupts out and I say something hate full I don't really mean.
We are actually perfect for each other...we agree and get along on everything....except when it comes to sex or showing affection. That's usually what our fights stem from. I want more attention sexually and more affection..and she says I'm mean and cranky. Its a terrible cycle. I'm mean and cranky from no affection...and she gives no affection from me being cranky.
Usually me bringing up any if it just blows up into a fight...so I'm thinking counsel maybe
Think really hard...... She's still sleeping with the same one you caught her with before. She has not moved on from him. And won't ever!! She loves him!

Since: Apr 13

United States

#8 Jun 6, 2013
Lol...I think u got me confused. Not worried about her cheating...nor has she ever. But I appreciate the advice from u d-bag losers. Maybe when u stop making love to ur hand and commit to a relationship u can find someone u love enough to be concerned about.
Love is tough

Spring, TX

#9 Jun 6, 2013
They r idiots... Not much else to say about that. But on your topic I have to say I understand where you are coming from and the problem doesn't just go away. She sounds like she is holding onto a lot of resentment and until she decides to let that go then you have to accept that you can't make it go away. All you can do is love her. Counseling can be a good thing but I would suggest Christian counseling. I'm not sure if you are Christian or not.
Been there

Cypress, TX

#10 Jun 6, 2013
Ignore them. I have been there but the other way around. My husband and I went through a time like this. You both get into daily routine and focusing on work and kids and lose sight of each other. It isn't intentional. My advice is pray and work on yourself and your faults. When you make an effort to correct your wrong doings and faults she will see a change. Kill them with kindness as they say. Think back when you first met and go back to courting her. I know old terms but don't know how else to explain it. Pray for God to work in your marriage and in your heart. Marriage is tough but it is worth wading through the stormy times. Good luck and God bless.
abcd

Henderson, TX

#11 Jun 7, 2013
Do you think that this forum is the place to bring up something so personal? I believe something so private doesn't need to be thrown out on this medium of excellence.I don't know many counselors are own this site but plenty of other kind of "experts" are. Find you that counselor and talk to your wife about going with you. Good luck to you.
Love is tough

Spring, TX

#12 Jun 7, 2013
Apparently we can gossip about everyone in town but we can't lean on each other for support and advice.... Sad, sad times. Good luck to you on your effort and never lose hope.

Since: Apr 13

United States

#13 Jun 7, 2013
Geeze...just seeing if anyone was having the same kind of marital problems and maybe if or how they worked through them. its anonymous so what's it matter what I put. I think there are a lot of unhappy people on here bullying others so they can feel better about themselves.
I'm just a husband who loves his wife. We r going through a rough patch and I just wanted someone I didn't know to listen to me for a minute without judging me.
But my God's got this. I'll continue to pray and seek his guidance. I'll ad a few of u negative folks to my prayer list....everyone could use a little more Jesus.
wild man

Henderson, TX

#14 Jun 7, 2013
Let me teach you how to be with a women. You seem like the person that that needs lessons on how to be happy. Women you don't give them all the love and don't give them all the money. A typical woman likes to be mistreated and they love that for some reason that I don't know just look around and smell the coffee. The more you bend over or them the more they want to see your as. Good luck you might just have to let this one go and start over. With the new one you need to start having the pants in the house you big wusssy .
Your a dic

Henderson, TX

#15 Jun 7, 2013
think wrote:
<quoted text>. Haha
You are so full of yourself JD! This man is not talking about you and your fantasy girlfriend. You are not the always the center of conversation or thought- although you desire to be. Get over yourself. Do you really think she still has feelings for you? Last time I checked you were still with your own wife. Focus on your own marriage.

Since: Apr 13

United States

#16 Jun 7, 2013
Think I'll go by this advice pal. Yes.. some women like that type of treatment... I've dated more than a few. But the point is... I married her for reasons other than her submissiveness. Don't get it twisted...I may be sensitive when it comes to my wife and family...but in no way am I a wussy.

Ephesians 5:25-27 KJV

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
hey eastexman

Henderson, TX

#17 Jun 7, 2013
Your a good man and I applaud you for seeking help. Marriage takes effort and work and it looks like you are willing to do both.
wild man

Henderson, TX

#18 Jun 7, 2013
If you cant run your house hold don't try to run someone else house. Next time don't ask for advice and then turn around and give advice. You are to soft of a man your wife is the one that has the pants. She has you bent over, the best thing that you can do is just let it go or enjoy it. Sometimes its best to be bad to the bone like wild man. I am not getting paid to tell you how it is just trying to help you out be happy and wild
trying to help

Henderson, TX

#19 Jun 7, 2013
Steve butler at Calvary baptist is a great man who's willing to help anyone! Good luck and fight for your marriage... From a dedicated husband
In the Know

Kilgore, TX

#20 Jun 7, 2013
wild man wrote:
Let me teach you how to be with a women. You seem like the person that that needs lessons on how to be happy. Women you don't give them all the love and don't give them all the money. A typical woman likes to be mistreated and they love that for some reason that I don't know just look around and smell the coffee. The more you bend over or them the more they want to see your as. Good luck you might just have to let this one go and start over. With the new one you need to start having the pants in the house you big wusssy .
- Wildman, how many times do I need to FLUSH before you'll go away ??????????

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