joke of the day
D ooh

United States

#160 Jun 3, 2009
That is old news. We already heard.
Country Gurrrl

United States

#161 Jun 4, 2009
Wait, who's wife was with who??? At least you could add initials!
Liz

Henderson, TX

#162 Jun 4, 2009
A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer : Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer : Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer : I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer : Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer : Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer : You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.


Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.


Don't Mess With Mature Ladies
HeardThaaat

United States

#163 Jun 4, 2009
Humm lets see, the chief deputy before this new one, his wife, and a certain well-known local banker's son. does that help identify?
Country Gurrrl

United States

#164 Jun 4, 2009
O.K. I know who the first part is and I must say that sounds like the tables have turned! Still no clue on the other fella.
Not Amused

Henderson, TX

#165 Jun 5, 2009
This post was started to share jokes and laugh, so why do some of you find it so amusing to post people's personal business on here. Speaking for myself I could care less who is running around on who. Do you ever consider these people's families may read this crap? If your goal in life is to spread gossip, how sad. Do you feel trashing others makes you a better person? If you need attention that bad go to group therapy; better yet if you are so unhappy in Henderson move to another town. This forum is nothing, but your own personal gossip column and I for one an sick of it. Back stabbing and spreading gossip seems to be a way of life for some of you. Grow up and mind your own business instead of spreading crap about others. I am sure some of your closets probably need a shovel to get through. Life is to short to be constantly posting what others are doing use a telephone and keep it private PLEASE!!!!
HeardThaaat

United States

#166 Jun 5, 2009
If you don't like what you read, then don't read it. This is an opinion forum and everyone is entitled to his or her opinion on any subject.
I havent posted anyone's name on here so if those people's family are reading they need not be concerned and it's none of their business what we all think.
Not Amused

Henderson, TX

#167 Jun 5, 2009
I understand free speech, but the person who started this particular post asked it be kept light and clean and used to post jokes. Why is it necessary to put this gossip in a post with the heading joke of the day? Like people don't know who you were talking about just because you didn't put a name here? not to hard to figure out.
Why don't you start your own gossip post and have at it. I'm sure you would be quite wonderful at it.
Clueless

Henderson, TX

#168 Jun 7, 2009
HeardThaaat wrote:
If you don't like what you read, then don't read it. This is an opinion forum and everyone is entitled to his or her opinion on any subject.
I havent posted anyone's name on here so if those people's family are reading they need not be concerned and it's none of their business what we all think.
OK. THIS FORUM IS CALLED JOKE OF THE DAY.(This is the key word here so bear with me.) I get on the JOKE OF THE DAY forum for jokes, NOT gossip. Thumbs up for posting the most ignorant comment I have heard on here in a while. Explain how we are supposed to get on this forum without reading the posts. Not the brightest bulb in the pack.

Guess this is the JOKE OF THE DAY forum cause u made me laugh.
Liz

Henderson, TX

#169 Jun 10, 2009
SupermanPinocchio, Snow White, and are out for a stroll in town one day. As they walked, they come across a sign:'Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world.'
"I am entering!" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"
" First Place !" said Snow White.
They continue walking and they see a sign:'Contest for the strongest man in the world.'
"I'm entering," says Superman. After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
" First Place ," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"
They continue walking when they see a sign:'Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?'
Pinocchio enters. After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes. "What happened?" they asked.
"Who the hell is this Nancy Pelosi?" asked Pinocchio.

hello

United States

#170 Jun 13, 2009
Country Gurrrl wrote:
Wait, who's wife was with who??? At least you could add initials!
these folks should all be ashamed- there are 5 children involved in this mess and first and foremost- no names should be mentioned-ever. every-one knows who ya'll are talking about anyway and on top of that probably it's nobody's business as to what the details are.

“All Texans ain't Cowboys”

Since: Sep 07

houston

#171 Jun 14, 2009
hello wrote:
<quoted text>
these folks should all be ashamed- there are 5 children involved in this mess and first and foremost- no names should be mentioned-ever. every-one knows who ya'll are talking about anyway and on top of that probably it's nobody's business as to what the details are.
Ha Ha!!! That was a funny one. These jokes on here crack me up.?
Joke of the day

Sandy, TX

#172 Jun 14, 2009
Three "Pick Up" lines NOT to use an a Bar!!
1. "Your eyes is as Blue as Winder Cleaner"
2. "Excuse me...I've lost my phone number...Can I have yours?"
And Final,
"What brings out tonight....the Paramedic's?"
LIT 1 wrote:
Here is a happy forum I am starting. I will place a joke here every day. Please do the same. Let us see if we can keep this thread clean and happy.
spritedranker

United States

#173 Jul 2, 2009
michael jackson's last words... i can still feel the little boy inside me
mj was working on a new song with elton john... dont let your son go down on me
Michael Jackson

Sandy, TX

#174 Jul 5, 2009
It's official....
Michael Jackson requested his body be melted in to a plastic slide, so the children could still go down on him.....
Michael Jackson

Sandy, TX

#175 Jul 5, 2009
How did they tell time at Never Never Land?
When the Big Hand touched the Little Hand....
Really

United States

#176 Jul 9, 2009
HeardThaaat wrote:
I hear a certain ex-chief deputy's wife got caught running around behind her hubby's back with his best buddy!
Who?
Really

United States

#177 Jul 9, 2009
Michael Jackson wrote:
How did they tell time at Never Never Land?
When the Big Hand touched the Little Hand....
KMART HAS A SPECIAL-LITTLE BOYS PANTS ARE HALF-OFF!!
spritedranker

United States

#178 Jul 9, 2009
michael jackson was recycled today into cups and straws ...so kids could still suck on him and tounge his rim

“Friendly Neighborhood FF”

Since: Mar 08

Longview

#179 Jul 9, 2009
I really have to say that the Michael Jackson jokes are getting as old and outdated as the glove he used to wear. Im really sick of the ones with a sexual lean to them. Grow up and find some real good funny jokes and post them.

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