regrets

[mmmkay]

What is the one thing that u regret good or bad

[Jeanie]

Being in love with someone else but engaged to another.

[ralph]

Jeanie wrote:

Being in love with someone else but engaged to another.

For one thing,if you not in love with the one you are engaged to,then you should break the engagement regardless because you obviously will not be able to commit to someone you don't love. Break it off now before you get into one big helluva mess.

[Jeanie]

ralph wrote:

<quoted text>
For one thing,if you not in love with the one you are engaged to,then you should break the engagement regardless because you obviously will not be able to commit to someone you don't love. Break it off now before you get into one big helluva mess.

I can't do that, i'm sure in time i will learn to love him. There are alot of people staying in marriages & relationships that aren't in love. These days it doesn't matter.

[new me]

Don't do that to him. He deserves someone better, someone who can love him! I had this happen to me & never will I stay in a relationship where I don't feel loved or appreciated again!

[Jeanie]

I won't ever leave him or do him wrong in any way. I have to do this for myself. If i were younger maybe it wouldn't matter as much. I know he's in love with me & i can't break his heart. I will take the vows we will take & honor them until i die. He doesn't have children & has always wanted one & i would love to have another child & my clock is tickin. When i make promises i stick to them. He will have nothing but honesty, faithfulness & trust from me.

[ralph]

Jeanie wrote:

I won't ever leave him or do him wrong in any way. I have to do this for myself. If i were younger maybe it wouldn't matter as much. I know he's in love with me & i can't break his heart. I will take the vows we will take & honor them until i die. He doesn't have children & has always wanted one & i would love to have another child & my clock is tickin. When i make promises i stick to them. He will have nothing but honesty, faithfulness & trust from me.

You are doing him dirty right now. You are being dishonest right now. WTH do you mean,these days it doesn't matter? What is the matter with you? I feel sorry for him. Poor sucker.

[Jeanie]

Well do u believe someone can fall out of love with someone, cheat on them most of their entire 15+ years of marriage with more then just a few partners and just suddenly fall back in love with them? If people can do that then i can learn to fall in love with this man. He knows that i'm not head over hills in love with him, i've told him. He says it's gonna work & i believe him.

[new me]

Wow! You sound like my ex but he said he would never do those things. He met a girl it started out as friends apparently they had more than we did & he was out. He done me dirty! He was completely selfish just like I feel that you are too. I feel bad for this man. There are people like me looking for love & your wasting his time. He could eventually find someone who loves him & so could you. I know he will get hurt in the end only because I have been in the same situation.

[Jeanie]

I don't get it, everyone says i need to find someone. I was alone for a whole year. I can't keep waiting on the one. When i really thought i had the one...boy was ever wrong. So how can i be sure this person isn't the one? Seems like i can do no right, it's always wrong.

[ralph]

Jeanie wrote:

I don't get it, everyone says i need to find someone. I was alone for a whole year. I can't keep waiting on the one. When i really thought i had the one...boy was ever wrong. So how can i be sure this person isn't the one? Seems like i can do no right, it's always wrong.

Jeanie, Nothing ever really works out when it is built on dishonesty. I do not mean to come down on you. i just know how much trouble it can be in a relationship with someone you really dont love. You havent waited too late yet because you havent married this man. How about down the road about 10 years when you realize how much time has been wasted and also hurting your husband/ It will hurt him so bad IF he really loves you. JMHO.

[Jeanie]

ralph wrote:

<quoted text>
Jeanie, Nothing ever really works out when it is built on dishonesty. I do not mean to come down on you. i just know how much trouble it can be in a relationship with someone you really dont love. You havent waited too late yet because you havent married this man. How about down the road about 10 years when you realize how much time has been wasted and also hurting your husband/ It will hurt him so bad IF he really loves you. JMHO.

I wasted 18 years in a marriage before. I got out of that marriage. We are not rushing this marriage, we haven't even set a date, like i said he knows my true feelings, he's willing to stick it out with me to see. He's a good man & i want a good man. He has shown me nothing but respect & dedication, i didn't say he doesn't make me happy, i just don't have that in love feeling yet. If i don't feel it in a few months i won't marry him.

[Skipper]

new me wrote:

Wow! You sound like my ex but he said he would never do those things. He met a girl it started out as friends apparently they had more than we did & he was out. He done me dirty! He was completely selfish just like I feel that you are too. I feel bad for this man. There are people like me looking for love & your wasting his time. He could eventually find someone who loves him & so could you. I know he will get hurt in the end only because I have been in the same situation.

He fell for someone else. That's not doing you dirty

[Jeanie]

Really??? I stayed in that marriage for my kids, to raise them in a home with both parents. So maybe i am a bad person. Yay me! I put off my happiness for them. So no i'm not selfish. I guess i could've been one of these mothers that walked away when they were young & not tried. I don't do drugs never have, never been in any trouble. I've dedicated most of my life for others. I also know what it feels like to be hurt & i have no intentions on hurting him. I told him how i feel he is the one choosing to stick around.

[new me]

Skipper wrote:

<quoted text>He fell for someone else. That's not doing you dirty

Yeah he fell for someone else but the way he went about it and everything else was completely wrong. He done me dirty and only very few actually know the whole story. I completely agree with what Ralph says I wasn't try to be mean I just feel like I deserved more & I feel that you both deserve more.

[Arrangement not Marriage]

qwerty wrote:

<quoted text>
I don't expect a selfish person to see that they are being selfish.

SO VERY, VERY TRUE!

When selfish people have their mind set on doing something they want to do, even though they know deep down it is very wrong and know it will sooner or later hurt others, they ALWAYS seem to find a way of rationalizing and justifying it to themselves as if it's alright because it's only what THEY want that matters, and the hell with anyone else who gets hurt.

[SAD]

I regret letting go of the one who made me smile ever chance he got. the one who made me smile when my day couldnt get worse and the one i couldnt get enough love from i was always wanting more he was like a drug.

[Recipe for Disaster]

Jeanie wrote:

Being in love with someone else but engaged to another.

So, you're not even married yet but you are ALREADY regretting being engaged because the person whom you are engaged to is not the one you are truly in love with ???
And you still intend to go through with this "so called" marriage ???
I call that a guaranteed recipe for years of misery, heartache and unnecessary soap opera drama for all parties involved.
You very well may be able to remain faithful in a physical sense but there's no way you will remain mentally and emotionally faithful.
You will continue to daydream, fantasize and dwell on those "special memories" you had and wish you still could have with your "true love", including imagining it's him you are making love with instead of the person you are now engaged to.
I'm sure you wouldn't like it one bit if the situation were reversed and rightly so because nobody in their right mind should ever settle for being another persons second place choice as a marriage partner.
Truth be known, though, it very well could be that you are not this guy you say is your true love's first choice as a marriage partner, and maybe not his second or even third choice, either.

[Jeanie]

I spoke to him & showed him this. He said that he appreciated me showing it to him. What happens from now on....well none ya business! Let's just say the sex is GREAT! Tootles!

[Weirdo People]

Jeanie wrote:

I spoke to him & showed him this. He said that he appreciated me showing it to him. What happens from now on....well none ya business! Let's just say the sex is GREAT! Tootles!

Hey, you were the one that made it everyone's business when you replied to a topic question asking about major regrets.
I can't imagine why you would even be posting details about such a personal thing if you were going to go through with the marriage anyway. People usually deserve just what they wind up settling for in life so I'd say you both probably deserve each other.