please help Im giving up

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giving up

Brownsburg, IN

#1 Sep 19, 2012
In today's world its so sad that a person.will keep a child away from a parent. The hurt that goes on between both.How can.someone really be so heartless. We are going thru a situation were my child is not aloud to she their child.They are an adult And they have given up on life.and it gets worse and worse every day.just because they love their child and can't see them. He would rather not be alive. I ask.any one how can I make my child see that maybe their is hope. Nobody knows the pain I have to deal with of watching my child hurt. I don't want to see them dead because he just gave up on life. All they want to do is be the best they can be and it seems like everytime they get a step forward. They get smacked down
I am so scared on what the future holds for them. I am welcoming suggestions .. And asking to please pray for my family. I love my kids and grandchild more than anything ..
Hang on

Oneida, TN

#2 Sep 19, 2012
I really don't know what to say, but hopfully your child will hold on because it will get better, I will pray about this for you.
Parent

United States

#3 Sep 20, 2012
We have one son that has not spoken to us in 2 years. We refused to accept the life he is living. He is grown and can do what he wants but he is not going to bring it into our home. While this does break our heart, we cannot and do not giv eup on the fact that one day maybe he will see the err of his ways and either call or come by.
We shall never stop loving him, that is for sure.
giving up

Brownsburg, IN

#4 Sep 20, 2012
My child lives with us. It just bothers me to see him suffering so much. His life went down hill 3 years ago when he stopped seeing his child. He has tried so hard and now again I see him giving up on life. I know he loves and adores his child. But giving up is not the right choice. I just wish he would start trying again. He is 21 and he should be living a happy life instead of this horrible depressing life he is living.and I try so hard to help him
Thank ya all so much ..And please just pray for him.
thatgrl

Oneida, TN

#5 Sep 20, 2012
Can he not go to court and get to see the child?I have had to watch my husband go thru twenty years of not seeing his family because of them having drug and alcohol issues and it was not something he wanted to subject our kids to. But it has been very painful to him as well. I cant imagine not getting to see a child or parent, its just heartbreaking!!
gee

Pine Knot, KY

#6 Sep 20, 2012
Will pray for your son and his child. He should not give up on life though, for some day that child will grow up and want to see him, if not before. Your son at 21 should go forward in his life, make new positive plans and actions for himself. Things happen for a reason sometimes...until the time is right, it's hard to understand/accept, and hard lessons happen.

Does he owe back child support or something, or is without a job? Maybe he should go back to school for an upgrade. Get involved in church. He has to show the courts he is worthy to have visitation rights. Just sayin...not knowing all the circumstances.
Friend

Highlands, NC

#7 Sep 20, 2012
Visitation and child support are two totally differnt things.
well

Pine Knot, KY

#8 Sep 20, 2012
Perhaps, but say, if he has a temper or some emotional growing up or self-help to do at 21, there may be some various reasons for no visitation at this time.
really poed

Oneida, TN

#9 Sep 20, 2012
Parent wrote:
We have one son that has not spoken to us in 2 years. We refused to accept the life he is living. He is grown and can do what he wants but he is not going to bring it into our home. While this does break our heart, we cannot and do not giv eup on the fact that one day maybe he will see the err of his ways and either call or come by.
We shall never stop loving him, that is for sure.
I know how you feel. I have went through that with my son. Stand your ground and don't let him bring it into your house. you are doing the right thing. It has to stop somewhere. I felt the same way. It's my home and they can take it somewhere else. I know it hurts, but be strong.
Wow

San Pablo, CA

#10 Sep 23, 2012
I had my child at 18 years old, yes it is hard at first the mother.kept my child from me. I filed for.custody and.recieved every weekend overnight plus week visitation. I would first suggest a.lawyer and.custody court.without that nothing is set in stone. It gets better it took a few years but afternmaturingnand the ex no longer holding a grudge over our seperation me and my family now have my child whenever we wantit will get better but someone must step up and be an adult and place the past and petty issues behind them. Good luck

Since: Aug 12

Oneida, TN

#12 Sep 24, 2012
giving up wrote:
My child lives with us. It just bothers me to see him suffering so much. His life went down hill 3 years ago when he stopped seeing his child. He has tried so hard and now again I see him giving up on life. I know he loves and adores his child. But giving up is not the right choice. I just wish he would start trying again. He is 21 and he should be living a happy life instead of this horrible depressing life he is living.and I try so hard to help him
Thank ya all so much ..And please just pray for him.
i am soo sorry for u and your child...i am facing a similiar situation..praying helps the heart but u gotta show that child the way..get mad.make calls its ur childs flesh and blood..its ur family. talk to ur child get mad but react smart. use the system. ppl cant just keep a child away from their family. tennessee has legal services for low income ppl. my best to u and ur family..ill remember to pray for u all.
Really

Dayton, TN

#13 Sep 24, 2012
There are also grandparents rights in the state of tennessee too. Use them to help your son see his child. Offer to be the go between, for you to take responsibility of the child while you all have visitation. Get a good attorney!
wondering

Irmo, SC

#14 Sep 24, 2012
Really wrote:
There are also grandparents rights in the state of tennessee too. Use them to help your son see his child. Offer to be the go between, for you to take responsibility of the child while you all have visitation. Get a good attorney!
actually there are no grandparents rights in TN. No judge is going to order visitation rights.
Grandparent

Dayton, TN

#15 Sep 24, 2012
wondering wrote:
<quoted text>actually there are no grandparents rights in TN. No judge is going to order visitation rights.
Yes there are. Look it up. Grandparents rights in Tennessee. I think it starts with 36- 6- 300. Look it up. it is there. This is how I got rights to my granddaughter. Oh yes we do have rights. I thank God for those that fought and got them for us.
wondering

Irmo, SC

#16 Sep 24, 2012
Grandparent wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes there are. Look it up. Grandparents rights in Tennessee. I think it starts with 36- 6- 300. Look it up. it is there. This is how I got rights to my granddaughter. Oh yes we do have rights. I thank God for those that fought and got them for us.
you are right, the reason I thought this was because my sons grandmother threatened me with the same thing and Jamie said he wasn't going to force my boys to see her. My bad.
going thru it

United States

#17 Sep 24, 2012
Giving up what or why is your son not aloud to see the child in order to help you i need to know. And was a dna test done to prove he is the father? I have kids by my exwife that are ours and hers but they all are my kids and love them all the same. Its been 3 yrs since i have last seen them and my turn is coming, all i had to do was wait for her to mess up now we go to court in october. She will be found in contemp and maybe jail but in the end i will see me kids. But if your son gives up he is giving up on that child who has no ideal. If your son is law abiding and has a clean record he has no problems. Anger problems are simple whether he has them or not or is all hear say go see a mental doc and get a clean bill i did and it shut them all up.
giving up

Brownsburg, IN

#18 Sep 25, 2012
Thank you all for the comments.. My sons child lives in another state..We gired a lawyer from the state we live in and after we paid him he tell us we have to hire a lawyer where the child is. so the money we ga e him just down the drain, well he said he would use it for the case on back child support which he is not that behind on.. and yes DNA was established .Its sad that my grandchild probably thinks her daddy don't love her or that our family don't love her. I struggle with that more than anything.. My son is emotionally ruined.. I really feel like he will do something stupid..He just don't care about life anymore. HE feels he will never see his child again .. We have called and talked with several people about this and unless we have around 5000. They wont even talk with us .. Itsa shame that the system thinks about money instead of the interest of the child. We saved money for the lawyer in the state we live in and basically we got screwed.. Again thanks for all the info we receive
going thru it

Statesville, NC

#19 Sep 25, 2012
You dont need a lawyer, all you need is a pen and paper and file visitation witg the court of the town she is in if he is paying support current or not he has legal rights to that child. Its the same thing im going thru and where she refused to answer my calls or see the kids she is in contempt. Call the court and file a petition for visitation. Im sorry to but rude but you dont need a dam money hungry lawyer, plus call knox board of lawyers and see what can be done about ur money
giving up

Brownsburg, IN

#20 Sep 25, 2012
going thru it wrote:
You dont need a lawyer, all you need is a pen and paper and file visitation witg the court of the town she is in if he is paying support current or not he has legal rights to that child. Its the same thing im going thru and where she refused to answer my calls or see the kids she is in contempt. Call the court and file a petition for visitation. Im sorry to but rude but you dont need a dam money hungry lawyer, plus call knox board of lawyers and see what can be done about ur money
..so in Knox county you can file ur own visitation with the courts.. see we was told we had to have a lawyer about 1/2 years ago..see we don't live in Tennessee .. we live in another state.. They live in Tennessee .. I'm sure gonna call today.. we called awhile back and the courts basically said we needed a lawyer cas if she didn't let us see her we would have to go to court with a lawyer and most of the lawyers that I called said the same thing.. They just wanted money 2000.00 - 5000.00 which is so freaking crazy ..Im sure they just wanted the money but the courts said the same thing.. you would think they would rather the child have the money instead of paying a lawyer.Thank you I'm sure gonna call today and see what it is I have to do..we live like 5 hours away from.Tennessee .. but we are willing to do.anything we can just so my son can get out of this depression and we can see my grandchild..again thank you
giving up

Brownsburg, IN

#21 Sep 25, 2012
ITs so sad that these younger kids having kids hold such a grudge on the other parent.. they are so immature and selfish they don't think about the child they just worry about making g the other parent miserable and seeing how much they can hurt them .. I would never keep my children away from their father..there should be some kind a law that if a parent willing keeps a child from seeing the other parent that they will get in troble, instead of having to hire lawyers and going to court. That Money could be used on the kids that's what's wrong with the kids these days . They could care less about the children they have..I can see in certain situations . But just because is not a good reason for me..I'm sorry.. I know in the end the child will know that we tried our hardest and it was the mother that failed that child..
I

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