Does anyone care if I use the name of...
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Sick of this crap

Eufaula, OK

#123 Aug 10, 2010
i went to that site and it said blogger page not found.
sharon

Eufaula, OK

#124 Aug 14, 2010
Meet Daniel Parks, author of two forthcoming books: Gold River Canyon's Dead and Tales and Doggerel of a Traveling Man, both coming out from vanity publisher Publishamerica. Daniel's idea was to create some buzz about his book by creating fake controversy. He posted on this Oklahoma-related message board:

I currently have a book in production entitled, "Tales and Doggerel of a Traveling Man," due to be released later in the year. In one of the short stories in the book, I mention a man that escaped from the Pitas Insane Asylum in Porum, Oklahoma.

Is that alright with you nice folks there in Porum?
Shortly thereafter he is assaulted with a slew of messages from angry residents of Porum, Oklahoma who don't want the name of their town dragged through the mud in a short story.

"We don't want you to use our town's name in your stinking book" from the Mayor is a good one. Or my favorite, from "Police Chief" Veril Cotlan:

We don't need no bad plubblicity from some outsider book writer. If you proceed to publish your book with our towns name in it or the name of our Asylum in it, then I'll have you arrested for bunco and fraud. Be advised, I already have an all points bullitin out for you in case you come through Porum.

Porum, OK. Which way to the insane asylum?

Uh-huh. I did a bit of research, and there's no such place as "Pitas Asylum for the Criminally Insane" nor do any of the other businesses mentioned in that thread exist. Furthermore, all of the posters arguing back and forth all have an AOL IP address, just like Daniel Parks.

I'm also pretty sure it's illegal to impersonate a police officer, even on the internet. I'm not a big enough jerk to forward this to the two-person, chiefless Porum Police Department, but I suspect they would probably find it amusing.

Anyway, today Mr. Parks attempted to spread his fake controversy on the Publishamerica message board in this thread. Unfortunately, Mr. Parks isn't a details-oriented fellow, and he screws a few things up. The name of the asylum administrator changes from Pitas to Wertermark, and the police chief goes from Cotlan to Havershiver. He also made the police chief sound even more hickish by adding the line, "In fact I have advised both of the officers on our police force to be on the lookout for a man and his wife passing through Porum who might look like a writer."

Details, details.

Map of Porum. Click for bigger.

It's a terrible attempt at fake controversy. First off, it's not interesting controversy. Secondly, the only people who would really be interested in this particular aspect are people from Porum, Oklahoma. And all 850 of them are likely very aware of the fact there's no insane asylum, there's no "main street" for there to be a book store on, and there's no such place as the Porum Snore-um bed and breakfast.

And finally, it just isn't believable. It's over the top, and the characters and places in his little ruse are known not to exist to the people he's presenting it to.

I guess I'll knock this method off my list. Nice try, Danny. Good luck with the books.

I do want to visit Porum, now, however. Maybe I'll stay at the Porum Snore-um.

Posted by Matt at 10:56 PM 5 comments Links to this post
sharon

Eufaula, OK

#125 Aug 14, 2010
the post above is what it says on that website.
Daniel Parks

United States

#126 Aug 15, 2010
Hi Sharon,

The information from Matt is very old. I think he wrote that before the new Police Chief took over and also before the Bed and Breakfast went into operation. As for the asylum, it was there, but Matt probably didn't realize that for security reasons, it does not have a listed phone number, so he assumed it doesn't exist.

Matt's a pretty sharp guy, but he does miss a thing or two now and then. But he definately needs to update his website.

I've published two more books, "Short Stories for the Long Haul," and "Cyber-kinesis: The Laptop Murders," since Matt's write-up about Porum. Matt is one of those guys that likes rather weird stories, so I think he might enjoy "Cyber-kinesis."

I notices that another Daniel is looking to run for Mayor of Porum. You probably won't want to vote for anyone named Daniel. With that name comes kind of flakey people, myself included.

Have a great day,

Daniel Parks
GREAT

Jenks, OK

#127 Aug 15, 2010
I think Daniel Parks is great.
Anyone that would not think what he writes isn't funny has got to have rocks for brains.
I am laughing so hard now that tears are rolling down my face to the point that I can hardly see to type.
THIS PART BELOW JUST CRACKS ME UP......
**********
"We don't want you to use our town's name in your stinking book" from the Mayor is a good one. Or my favorite, from "Police Chief" Veril Cotlan:

We don't need no bad plubblicity from some outsider book writer. If you proceed to publish your book with our towns name in it or the name of our Asylum in it, then I'll have you arrested for bunco and fraud. Be advised, I already have an all points bullitin out for you in case you come through Porum.
Daniel Parks

United States

#128 Aug 16, 2010
Thanks Great for your kind words,

Having said that, please understand that Chief Cotlan did, in fact, send that message to me and he was very sincere about the consequences should I use the name of Porum in my book. In fact, several weeks after his message, a friend of mine (I don't have very many friends) was passing through Porum and the police had set up a road block. They were checking poeple for valid registration, license, insurance and also looking for one, Mr. Daniel Parks. My friend inquired about why they were looking for me, and he was told that Mr. Parks was on their list of most wanted, dead or alive, criminals and when they arrested him he would be put away for good.

Since that time, I've been very careful when going through Porum and when I stay at the Porum Snore-um, I use an assumed name.

Have a wonderful day,

Daniel Parks
Bob

Front Royal, VA

#129 Mar 12, 2011
This is the only way Porum ever gets mentioned, unless a twister goes thru town and knocks down the bar. Only business there besides the jail and the illegal ones
Blue Belle

United States

#130 Mar 22, 2011
I've have lived in Porum most of my life ever since I was born. I only left for a month on one ocasion and I was glad to be back when I got back. Porum is my favorit place to live compared to othere places and I guess I'll live here forever. We have a good school here and bisnuses and good people. The police only arrested me wonce for a crim I didn't do which was solisiting, so I think the police are ok.

Cometo Polum and you won't want to leeve.
jackie o

Front Royal, VA

#131 Mar 28, 2011
yes porrum is a grate plac too livve and the shcools her our thee bestest bye far whene thee streetes were a toren uped the neew ones were putted inn muches bettar fur mys barres foots too walks on.
Jimmy Dick

Laredo, TX

#132 Apr 11, 2011
Blue Belle wrote:
I've have lived in Porum most of my life ever since I was born.

Cometo Polum and you won't want to leeve.
Where did you live before you were born and for how long?

How does one leeve? You can't leeve if you don't know how.
Have a life

Hugo, OK

#133 Apr 12, 2011
Jackie O and Jimmy Dick, How cold blooded can you be? Why would you want to be so evil and mean spirited? I would hope your mother had taught you that if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all.I know my mother did. So therefor I will shut up now.Have a nice day.
Citizen of POTEAU

Poteau, OK

#134 Apr 13, 2011
Why is this on the POTEAU forum?? Porum and Poteau are not the same place. And I'd venture to say no one here gives a crap about Porum or this book or this fake controversy.

Also, I'd like to say. Its pretty obvious no one is buying your bs about Porum, or your book for that matter.
Citizen of POTEAU

Poteau, OK

#135 Apr 13, 2011
Oh apparently the previous comment makes me an idiot, moron, stupid, etc, etc..... let me beg forgiveness.

Oh, topix forum gods, please forgive me for not having so little a life that I know all the details of the topix website. Oh that I could spend my entire life on this forum learning your ways so that I may be deemed worthy. Oh, please topix gods, forgive me.

I came here to check out any topix pertaining to my town. Never been here before, therefore don't know that a topix listed in my town are not just for my town.
You (no one specific, there are lots of you) belittle people anonymously from behind a computer screen. People you have never met. People who may simply be asking a question....

Yes, I am the moron and You the jack ass ;)
Ted

Hugo, OK

#136 Jun 15, 2011
Did anyone see that light in the sky tonight...it wuz straight up weird...you could see windows with figures in it...it was over by tater hill

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