Northeast Counseling Stories

Northeast Counseling Stories

Posted in the Hazleton Forum

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crazy mofo

Wellsboro, PA

#1 Mar 8, 2013
One time in oreophilia recovery group, we attempted to combat the urge of prying open the sandwich cookies and licking the filling. We had a 98% relapse rate.
budget this beeches

Wellsboro, PA

#2 Mar 9, 2013
Those therapists are crazy! They actually wanted us to budget our money, and trick us into playing games to do so. HELLO we do not have any money to budget! I am broke days after I get my disability. I am usually sucking guys for drug money in area bars the rest of the month. I do not need to be told how to budget, I am an entrepreneur!
budget this beeches

Wellsboro, PA

#3 Mar 9, 2013
I got mouth scabies from a trick. I got to go now.
derp DERP derp

Wellsboro, PA

#4 Mar 10, 2013
derp derp What is up with them trying to make us budget money we dont gots... derp derp I thought they went to collage and are smarts derp derp derp I too am an entrepreneur and wash the used heroin needles I find in dog urine and sell them in bundles of ten to make mad money... derp derp derp
filthyfuckingpig

Wellsboro, PA

#5 Mar 10, 2013
I usually play some porn on my iPad to get a circle jerk going.
Coca-Zola

Wellsboro, PA

#6 Mar 12, 2013
You wouldn't believe all of the informants that go there. Jeez we have to chase the Standard-Speaker guy out while the snitching errupts. They even walk over to my office to see the probation officers. I piss in their cups for the heck of it to give them a hot urine.
testimonial

Wellsboro, PA

#7 Mar 12, 2013
This is nasty but I must share it. I was ejaculated on in the cafeteria.
not laughing

Wellsboro, PA

#8 Mar 13, 2013
This place is here to help people and you ignorant people are making fun of that. Do you have any friends with psychological problems? Do you have any morals? I am a judgemental a~~hole so I have an excuse to complain on topix.com
scabies in my scrote

Wellsboro, PA

#9 Mar 13, 2013
The best therapy group is the "Living in Bumville: Like A Boss" group that meets on Sundays and Wednesdays. We learn useful things like how to perform fellatio without scrapping your teeth on a trick and how to apply for multiple Access cards. I even got some old DDT to rub on my sore sack. Thanks North East!
mojo filter

Wellsboro, PA

#10 Mar 14, 2013
Today we had lock down therapy. Some patient got angry that he couldn't put his tally wagger in an old light socket and threatened staff. I told him to at least rub dielectric grease on his thang for lube.
lolololololololo lolololol

Wellsboro, PA

#11 Mar 14, 2013
=D
SlimBobArsonPant s

Wellsboro, PA

#12 Mar 15, 2013
I miss coloring pictures and playing with the burning cigarette butts :"(
Tubby White Chick

Wellsboro, PA

#13 Mar 15, 2013
They caught the guy that caused the lockdown, outside of the place today. They weren't locked down today though. Lock down therapy sucks anyway.
SlimBobArsonPant s

Wellsboro, PA

#14 Mar 20, 2013
I got kicked out of NECS once for rubbing Ronsonol on my gibblets and lighting it. Sometimes it's the only way I can bust a nut.
budget this beeches

Wellsboro, PA

#15 Mar 21, 2013
Those evil counselors tricked us in discussing budgeting our money! I was all like 'no you didn't' and they did. It's the end of the month and we are out of food stamps and welfare money. Our knees and tonsils are rubbed raw and sore from all of the meat suckling we do at the area dive bars.

They seem to have no sympathy for the public service we provide lonely working men in the bathrooms and parking lots of area bars. They have never had their tongue freeze to a trick's salami in this windy city in January. And what do we have to hear, but more budgeting. I already know how to budget I'm a freaking entrepreneur!
kicked out of group

Wellsboro, PA

#16 Mar 22, 2013
I got kicked out for my compulsive masturbation. It's a compulsion not something I do on purpose.
ball buster

Wellsboro, PA

#17 Mar 23, 2013
The "I already know how to budget I'm an entrepeneur" meme is classic. LOLS
crazy mofo

Wellsboro, PA

#18 Mar 23, 2013
They disbanded oreophilia group! Oreophillia is not a cross anybody should have to bear... alone. Today I used the last of my foodstamps purchasing Oreos. My pancreas shut down and I went into a diabetic coma. I am at Hazleton General using a nurse's iPod to share with you my living hell. Pray for me. ttyl
RIP Coal Crackers

Wellsboro, PA

#19 Mar 25, 2013
For Male Homophobia Therapy they strap you into a chair and smack your face with Hazle Park Treats. There even is a secret hole in the chair if you need a "Level Six" treatment.
pwned

Wellsboro, PA

#20 Mar 26, 2013
I only had to go there as a bail condition. My lawyer had the charges dro0ped eventually. My case worker had the sweetest teeets.

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