Hazleton Is Basically Zombie Proof

Hazleton Is Basically Zombie Proof

Posted in the Hazleton Forum


Wellsboro, PA

#1 Jun 19, 2012
Hazleton (and most of Northeastern Pennsylvania) is potentially safer during a zombie outbreak than most areas, due to the poorly paved roads, even worse sidewalks and close accessible mine lands. Obviously the downtown would be infested with zombies and quickly deplete the legal and illegal immigrant population the fastest. The gun toting population could easily egress to the surrounding rural or surface mine lands.

68% to 81% of the downtown Hazleton zombies would have dislocated ankles from the poorly maintained roads and sidewalks. The even poorer maintained slums would cause head, torso and arm damage to zombies.

If Kenneth "Slimmer" Reichart could be pardoned by Governor Corbett, he can incinerate the injured zombies for free.

Wellsboro, PA

#2 Jun 20, 2012
I thought I spotted a zombie mauling a homeless person,by Jimmy's Quick Lunch. It was just a bum gnawing on another bums face. Quite common these days.

Wellsboro, PA

#3 Jun 21, 2012
What zombie contingency plan does the Greater Hazleton Health Alliance, Hazleton Police Department and the Hazleton Trinitarios have in place in the event of a zombie outbreak? None. They seem to think zombism is a joke. Such a pity.

“Yakubites will fall.”

Since: Feb 11

Los Angeles, CA

#4 Jun 21, 2012
WTF is this shit. It's a joke right?

Wellsboro, PA

#5 Jun 22, 2012
FoShizzle18249 is probably infected with a zombie pathogen. I recommend he/she seek immediate medical attention.

Wellsboro, PA

#6 Jun 22, 2012
A college age goth chick with asked me "Is Harman-Geist Stadium zombie proof?"

I inspected the facility and must conclude that it isn't. The walled can be climbed easily and one can become easily trapped on the bleachers with no escape.

Climbing the cell tower to the North of the field is a best bet. It is tall, thus affording an excellent vantage point and is easy to defend. You can subside off of the pigeons that live on it and cook their flesh with the magnetrons. You would have to drink you own urine, but that's better than being a zombie meal.

Wellsboro, PA

#7 Jun 23, 2012
The Walking Dead: Hazleton
fart knocker

Wellsboro, PA

#8 Jun 30, 2012
Thank god for potholes!

Wellsboro, PA

#9 Jun 30, 2012
Do not touch any dead birds. They might have the West Nile Virus. This virus, like rabies, could cause zombism in humans.

Wellsboro, PA

#10 Aug 7, 2012
I believe the homeless will spread the first wave of zombism. They easily spread hepatitis, HIV and meningitis. Just with their open sores alone they spread those diseases without sexual contact.

It is for this reason I have been studying the homeless of Bumville for the past month. To make matters worse the homeless have pet raccoons, the chief carrier of rabies.

Amazingly none of the thirty-six subjects tested positive for rabies. I trepanated their skulls and took brain samples. Bums will do anything for twenty bucks.

So the raccoons either weren't carriers or the bums may have a rabies immunity. Perhaps the high alcohol and salt in their diets killed the virus.
El Chupacabra

Wellsboro, PA

#11 Aug 27, 2012
Those zombies are troublesome. They used to cross the boarder from Haiti into the Dominican Republic and start small zombie outbreaks. The US would send B-52s to saturation bomb the boarder villages.
bobby z

Wellsboro, PA

#12 Aug 29, 2012
what the ?

Wellsboro, PA

#13 Sep 1, 2012
I wish that the city's Health and Code Enforcement would help study the homeless for special antibodies in their blood that kills rabies. They really don't have the manpower or the funding. It's not their faults.
ttty fcker

Kansas City, MO

#14 Sep 2, 2012
I looked for 'zombies forums' on Bing and this forum came up.
zombie slayer

Milford, PA

#16 Jan 8, 2015
This trolling on a serious issue is dangerous.

Milford, PA

#17 Jan 10, 2015
This is really scary once you find out how many zombie-like diseases there actually are. I have zombie plans I made in case SHTF with a zombie outbreak. The plans work for a Hispanic race riot as well.

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