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Since: May 12

Location hidden

#1 May 23, 2012
When I was staying with mom at the hospital in Hazard, a nurse came into the room and started talking to mom. The nurse noticed a bowl of peanuts I'd brought mom, and helped herself to a handful.

As they talked, she kept eating more of the peanuts. Finally she said, "Boy, the time has flew by. I have to go." And looking at the bowl she said, "I feel awful! I ate almost all of your peanuts". Mom said, "That's okay. My teeth are so bad, all I could do was suck the chocolate off of them anyhow"!
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BobbyJunior
http://iSupportCoal.com/BobbyJunior

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#2 May 23, 2012
The other night my girlfriend was standing in front of the bedroom mirror naked and said "I feel old and fat and ugly, I sure could use a compliment to make me feel better".

I thought for awhile and all I could come up with was "well at least your eyesight's near perfect".

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BobbyJunior
http://iSupportCoal.com/BobbyJunior
hahaha

Hazard, KY

#3 May 24, 2012
BobbyJunior wrote:
When I was staying with mom at the hospital in Hazard, a nurse came into the room and started talking to mom. The nurse noticed a bowl of peanuts I'd brought mom, and helped herself to a handful.
As they talked, she kept eating more of the peanuts. Finally she said, "Boy, the time has flew by. I have to go." And looking at the bowl she said, "I feel awful! I ate almost all of your peanuts". Mom said, "That's okay. My teeth are so bad, all I could do was suck the chocolate off of them anyhow"!
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BobbyJunior
http://iSupportCoal.com/BobbyJunior
this made my stomach turn.. id honestly puke. good one though!!
funny

Middlesboro, KY

#4 May 24, 2012
Perry County!
shiznit

Hazard, KY

#5 May 24, 2012
what do you call a potato smoking marijuana?
* a baked potato*
dangerfield

London, KY

#6 May 24, 2012
you know, you can lead a horse to water. BUT,
nothing smells as bad as a wet horse!
lol

Hazard, KY

#7 May 24, 2012
Lmao

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#8 May 24, 2012
The other day I was riding the trolley. Here the trolley is like a bus that runs all over town.

Anyway, I was riding along and it was really crowded and the music was blasting so loud I couldn't think. Suddenly I had to fart, so I thought "the music's so loud, if I fart nobody will hear it". So I let loose with about 5 of the biggest farts ever.

Later as I was getting off the trolley, everybody was pointing and laughing, and that's when I realized I'd been listening to my ipod the whole time!

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BobbyJunior
http://iSupportCoal.com/BobbyJunior

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#9 May 24, 2012
Me and the Governor was watching TV when the news came on. Some guy on a bridge was about to jump. I told the Governor "I'll bet $10 he jumps". The Governor said "Bet you $10 he don't".

Then, the guy jumped and the Governor tried to hand me $10.

I told him "I can't take your money, I cheated. That same story was on the six o'clock news". But the Governor wouldn't hear of it. He said, "No, take it, I saw the six o'clock news too. I just didn't think the son of a bitch was dumb enough to jump twice!"

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BobbyJunior
http://iSupportCoal.com/BobbyJunior

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#10 May 24, 2012
When I first moved to Florida I drove on down south to a town spelled Kissimee. I tried to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. Being from Hazard, I'd never heard of the town before and couldn't figure it out.

I was hungry so I pulled in to get something to eat. I said to the waitress "I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where I'm at and say it very slowly so that I can understand."

She looked at me and said, "Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."

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BobbyJunior
http://iSupportCoal.com/BobbyJunior

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#11 May 24, 2012
Me and a couple of friends were talking one day about what we'd like to hear people say at our funeral. One of my friends said he'd like to hear them say that he was always good to everybody. The other friend said he'd like to hear them say what a great family man and father he had been. I told them I just hope somebody says "Look, he's moving"!

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BobbyJunior
http://iSupportCoal.com/BobbyJunior

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#12 May 24, 2012
How can you tell if a Kentucky redneck is married?
There's dried 'backer' juice on both sides of his pickup truck.

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BobbyJunior
http://iSupportCoal.com/BobbyJunior

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#13 May 24, 2012
How do you know when you're staying in a Hazard hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I got a leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."

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BobbyJunior
http://iSupportCoal.com/BobbyJunior

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#14 May 24, 2012
My 72 year old uncle Buck from Kentucky passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#15 May 24, 2012
A Kentucky State trooper pulled over cousin Barlow on I-64 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and Barlow replied "Bout wut?"

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BobbyJunior
http://iSupportCoal.com/BobbyJunior

“Beautiful Days..Beautiful Life”

Since: Jan 11

Indianapolis / Hazard

#16 May 25, 2012
3 Dr's were talking about some of the amazing surgeries they had performed. One Dr. had saved a mans arm by attaching it to the other shoulder & today he was out looking for a job. The 2nd Dr. told of a man fr California who had amputation surgeries & yet mamaged to get out & find a job. The 3rd Dr. told of an asshole taken fr Chicago & put in the white house & today everybody was looking for a job...

Since: May 11

London, KY

#17 May 25, 2012
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
Bahahaha

Crossett, AR

#18 May 25, 2012
A husband and wife got remarried after 50 years. They were staying in a luxurious hotel while on their honey moon. The man laid back on the bed while the woman prepared to give him the best sex of his entire life. As she undressed herself in front of her husband she stared him in the eyes and asked, "what is it about me that turns you on the most, my sexy body or my beautiful face?" The husband let out a small chuckle and replied "Your sense of humor."

Since: Nov 10

Location hidden

#19 May 25, 2012
A beautiful girl dies and goes to heaven. The Guardian tells her that only virgins can get into heaven, so he insists on a physical exam to prove it. Finding seven small dents he says to her, What is your name anyway? She says, Snow White.
Redfeatherfan

Viper, KY

#20 May 25, 2012
RedFeatherFan wrote:
A beautiful girl dies and goes to heaven. The Guardian tells her that only virgins can get into heaven, so he insists on a physical exam to prove it. Finding seven small dents he says to her, What is your name anyway? She says, Snow White.
I tried to pass off as one to my last man, didn't work either. When it comes to having men, I look like a porcupine.

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