Retail workers have the right to their own personal space

DEAR ABBY: I disagree with your reply to "Nicki in Maryland" , the retail saleswoman who is tired of being not only touched, but physically pulled about by customers.

[Sarah]

I don't agree with Allen in NE who said being touched goes along with the turf in any meet-the-public job. I've never touched sales associates & I don't want them touching me either.

But, if I were a sales associate or customer, I wouldn't freak out if someone tapped my arm or shoulder to get my attention.

[EEE]

Yet another Reader Response column.

Abby must have been at the Duran Duran concert last night...

[BumbleBee]

EEE wrote:

Yet another Reader Response column.
Abby must have been at the Duran Duran concert last night...

I think Abby just like to share the opinions of others. She is simply giving them value.

Same subject different area, I hate it when sales people look at my credit card and call me by my first name. No one uses my legal first name,I have a nickname I prefer, but see no reason to share that with a clerk.
So if they must address me by name, use MRS.?????

[Messy]

No one has a right to touch a stranger. In fact, I'll go one further and say that no one has the right to touch another person without their consent. The only contact that would be even vaguely acceptable is a handshake.

I have waited tables, I have spent a lot of time in retail, and in my experience, a simple "excuse me" is more than enough to get the attention of the waiter or clerk. It is inexcusable to substitute a grab or touch for that simple technique.

And no, the customer is NOT "always right". Sometimes the customer is abusive, obnoxious, and just plain rude. I have fired clients for bad behavior on several different occasions, and they howl about how they have a "right" to act as they wish. They are wrong. A private business is just that. All businesses have the right not to serve people that they find unacceptable.

[Aurora]

I too hate it when I'm addressed by my first name in the context of a business transaction. I don't call people by their first names in these situations unless they ask me to. It's not like we're ever going out for a beer together, it's a professional relationship with someone you don't even know.

[Dienne]

What do you want to be Allen is the type of person who grabs people like Nicki while shopping? Probably gives her a big ole squeeze, a slap on the butt and calls her honeybunch to boot. Then wonders why all the sales clerks scurry off the floor every time he walks in the door.

[EEE]

Aurora wrote:

I too hate it when I'm addressed by my first name in the context of a business transaction. I don't call people by their first names in these situations unless they ask me to. It's not like we're ever going out for a beer together, it's a professional relationship with someone you don't even know.

My last name is pretty close to inpronouncable by strangers.

The clerks at Dominicks must be under orders to use the name on the card. "Thank you Mrs.... er...Miss....er...um....How do you pronounce this????

[Susan in Warrenville]

Hey EEE -- The Chicago-area grocery Dominicks is now owned by Safeway, and a major part of their guest service score is calling the customer by last name.

Most restaurants have rules against customers touching the employees.

Touchy-feely people like Allen should realize that not everyone feels the same. And, his behavior is going to turn off as many customers as it attracks.

[Aurora]

Actually, EEE, so is mine. I mind less someone mispronouncing my last name than being too familiar when I'm a complete stranger. If I say just call me Aurora, that's one thing, and they may refer to themselves by their first name if they prefer. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned. I hate that touchy-feely crap even more that first-name thing.

[Terri at home]

BumbleBee wrote:

<quoted text>
I think Abby just like to share the opinions of others. She is simply giving them value.
Same subject different area, I hate it when sales people look at my credit card and call me by my first name. No one uses my legal first name,I have a nickname I prefer, but see no reason to share that with a clerk.
So if they must address me by name, use MRS.?????

I'm with you! I never say anything, but now even at the grocery store they say: Thank you Miss "Teri", using my full name and pronouncing it wrong. The reason it irks me is that here they are trying to pretend to actually know me and they cannot even pronounce my name right (it's an easy name too).

[Terri at home]

EEE wrote:

<quoted text>
My last name is pretty close to inpronouncable by strangers.
The clerks at Dominicks must be under orders to use the name on the card. "Thank you Mrs.... er...Miss....er...um....How do you pronounce this????

Right! Dominicks -- drives me nuts.

[Ambi]

I have worked in retail for years. As a saleswoman I was extremely effective and no one ever needed to touch me. nor did i want them too. This has nothing to do with the job and more to do with America's social morrays. It has never been acceptible in America to touch one another. We all have are own bubble that needs to be respected.

[Judy]

When I am shopping, a simple "thank you" is sufficient. You do not need to use my name, I don't want you to be familiar with me, you are a stranger not a friend.

[abc]

BumbleBee wrote:

<quoted text>
So if they must address me by name, use MRS.?????

and i absolutely despise when people call me "mrs." the appropriate term these days is "ms." is every woman automatically assumed to be married? what, are we still living in the 1950s? i find that assumption much more offensive than someone calling me by my first name.

[Sara]

I'm dying laughing right now, and checking my clock, and all be damn, like clockwork!

"Reader Response" columns,..yippeeee

[Deb in AH]

Messy wrote:

No one has a right to touch a stranger. In fact, I'll go one further and say that no one has the right to touch another person without their consent. The only contact that would be even vaguely acceptable is a handshake.
I have waited tables, I have spent a lot of time in retail, and in my experience, a simple "excuse me" is more than enough to get the attention of the waiter or clerk. It is inexcusable to substitute a grab or touch for that simple technique.
And no, the customer is NOT "always right". Sometimes the customer is abusive, obnoxious, and just plain rude. I have fired clients for bad behavior on several different occasions, and they howl about how they have a "right" to act as they wish. They are wrong. A private business is just that. All businesses have the right not to serve people that they find unacceptable.

Great post!

[EEE]

Aurora wrote:

Actually, EEE, so is mine. I mind less someone mispronouncing my last name than being too familiar when I'm a complete stranger. If I say just call me Aurora, that's one thing, and they may refer to themselves by their first name if they prefer. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned. I hate that touchy-feely crap even more that first-name thing.

I honestly don't care one way or the other. I was just making an observation about Dominicks.

I had a roommate once who couldn't spell my last name. She totally butchered it once on a check she wrote me. When I pointed it out she said "I can either spell it right or say it right, which do you want?"

[Rational]

EEE wrote:

<quoted text>
I honestly don't care one way or the other. I was just making an observation about Dominicks.
I had a roommate once who couldn't spell my last name. She totally butchered it once on a check she wrote me. When I pointed it out she said "I can either spell it right or say it right, which do you want?"

Yeah, I can see how thats a high standard to meet. She must be a democrat!

Rational stands in the corner waiting to be flammed for his unprovoked attack! LOL. JUST KIDDING people. Put the knives away.

[Russell]

Aurora wrote:

I too hate it when I'm addressed by my first name in the context of a business transaction. I don't call people by their first names in these situations unless they ask me to. It's not like we're ever going out for a beer together, it's a professional relationship with someone you don't even know.

I agree.

At one time, I was listed in the 'phone directory as "R. S. Sirname" and had that on my credit card to, so sales personnel had little choice but to call me "Mr. Sirname." Sometimes, however, they'd ask me for my first name, in which case I would say that I just use my first two initials. Some would then call me "R. S."

On the other hand, if a business relationship becomes extended and is cordial, it seems a bit strange to be called "Mr. Sirname" all the time, even though I am now much older. Does anyone have suggestions regarding this?

[Aurora]

Sure. You invite the person to use your first name or nickname. "Please, call me Aurora."