Murder victim's family promotes aware...

Murder victim's family promotes awareness - Hawaii News

There are 7 comments on the Honolulu Star-Bulletin story from Nov 2, 2009, titled Murder victim's family promotes awareness - Hawaii News. In it, Honolulu Star-Bulletin reports that:

Hawaii-born Chennel Melendez lived for 10 years in Las Vegas with an abusive and controlling husband who threatened to take their son if she ever left him, her family members say.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Honolulu Star-Bulletin.

nanakulimama

Kailua, HI

#1 Nov 2, 2009
It's fine and well to say victims of abuse should recognize the danger and try to get out of it but more times than not there is nowhere for these people to go. Shame and humiliation on the victim's part plays a huge part also. Normally, it's when they start to get more control of their lives is when they end up dead. We have to get the abuser to change his/her attitude not the other way around. My deepest condolences to Chennel's ohana - especially her son. Now he has to grow up without either parent. Such a tragic shame! I hope she's resting in peace with our Good Lord. As far as her husband only God can judge but I hope that he's getting his just deserts in prison.
Realist

Waianae, HI

#2 Nov 2, 2009
That type of event is cyclical. It happened to a certain extent in her family as well as his. That's how they got together...people such as that are attracted to each other.

It is better you woke up to it ever than never.
Greatwall

Honolulu, HI

#3 Nov 2, 2009
Realist wrote:
That type of event is cyclical. It happened to a certain extent in her family as well as his. That's how they got together...people such as that are attracted to each other.
It is better you woke up to it ever than never.
Yep agree. However, this cycle must stop somewhere. I know it would take someone of tremendous mental toughness and courage to leave an abusive situation like this, especially when kids are involved. But at least in my opinion there comes a time where you just got to step up, think of yourself, and say "I only live once, and i don't want this kind of life for me or my children" Because if you stay with the abuser things will only get worse.

I know it's not easy but extraordinary situations like this demand extraordinary actions. HOpefully this waste of skin really does suffer in a max security prison. Death penalty is to easy for him.
chamoru

Tacoma, WA

#4 Nov 2, 2009
No history of domestic violence or a criminal record does not in itself mean that it didn't or doesn't happen only that no one reported it.
Kaula

Honolulu, HI

#5 Nov 2, 2009
To Claudine Eggleston and Rolando Langaman - you survived a very difficult childood that most of us never glimpse or experience. And you reached out to help your sister and her son. I hope you find peace and closure. God bless!
Realist

Waianae, HI

#6 Nov 2, 2009
Greatwall wrote:
<quoted text>
Yep agree. However, this cycle must stop somewhere. I know it would take someone of tremendous mental toughness and courage to leave an abusive situation like this, especially when kids are involved. But at least in my opinion there comes a time where you just got to step up, think of yourself, and say "I only live once, and i don't want this kind of life for me or my children" Because if you stay with the abuser things will only get worse.
I know it's not easy but extraordinary situations like this demand extraordinary actions. HOpefully this waste of skin really does suffer in a max security prison. Death penalty is to easy for him.
You are right...it takes a great mental toughness and courage to never go back to that type of situation especially if the entire family is involved in such dysfunctionality. I think that at a certain point people who have undergone that type of experience can look back with the help of therapy and not have it hurt...there will always be things to remind them, but when the individual has control over those images and can redirect the negativity into something productive, then they will be less prone to depression, anxiety, and lashing out at others.
The victim did not have enough distance or time away from the situation. Distance sometimes means another continent away, and time can be measured in decades. She might have fared better in the US Virgin Islands for about 20 years (no joke).
Realist

Waianae, HI

#7 Nov 2, 2009
chamoru wrote:
No history of domestic violence or a criminal record does not in itself mean that it didn't or doesn't happen only that no one reported it.
Exactly, and the reason that it wasn't reported (usually) from inside the home is because they know of no other way than the way in which they live.

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