Does anyone know who commited suicide...
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Steve

Houston, TX

#21 Jun 18, 2012
Joan ... I often run into thoughts of Paula, or get remembrances from something I see or hear. She did a consulting assignment in my company, and helped a man make a huge change in his life ... for the good. He's a friend of mine, and I'm often reminded of Paula when I see he's in a better place in his life. As one of the other posters suggested, I'd be happy to correspond with you (or Elise, or Keith) if anyone wants too. You may remember I was connected with her for a few years, and even went to a dream workshop with you and Paula during that time. Also came to your house one time and met you, your family, your parents, and more. Paula and I had parted our close ways some 8 years ago, but we still kept in occasional contact until a few months before her passing. If you care to reach out, you can reach me at stevel227 at aol.
Joan wrote:
<quoted text>
Gillian, I truly appreciate you still thinking of my sister. For some reason, I was missing her tonight and happened on this forum. Yes, to an earlier post, suicide is a very selfish act. Paula acknowledged this in her last letter. The pain never ends for those of us left behind. Nor do the questions, confusions, and feelings of guilt. Some days I am so mad I want to scream. Other days I want to cry and hide away. But mostly I follow the path I have chosen, find joy in what life offers, and am honored and glad to have known the best parts of someone who chose to leave us too soon. Thanks for your caring.
Gillian

Portales, NM

#22 Jul 22, 2012
Mee wrote:
<quoted text>We are all sorry you lost someone you cared about, we all have been there. I lost my mom 2 years ago, and it sucks. You have to get over it and move on, dwelling on the past only tears you down. Obviously she was a selfish person to take her own life and not care about how her death would effect the people who loved her. I understand being depressed, beleive me I grew up in harrodsburg but suicide is never the thing to do. Move on Gillian she aint coming back.
Excuse me, but you do not have the right to say that Paula was selfish. You don't know anything about this person, or why she made the choice that she made.
Gillian

Portales, NM

#23 Jul 22, 2012
I think it is a mistake to judge people. Some times human beings get to the end of the road, and they just cannot stand any more. I do not want to judge Paula, but only to say that she did something great for me, and I am sorry that she is gone.
Sadie

Winchester, KY

#24 Jul 22, 2012
I didn't know her, but she sounds like she was a wonderful person. My heart goes out to her family and friends. And to the poster who suggested that she was selfish, I hear that comment so often in the case of suicide and it makes me very angry that someone would think such a thing. Obviously, if an individual is in such a state as to even consider ending his/her life, then he/she is clearly not thinking rationally. A person who isn't in his/her rational state of mind isn't going to have the ability to contemplate if his/her behavior is selfish, etc.
Gillian

Portales, NM

#25 Jul 22, 2012
Sadie wrote:
I didn't know her, but she sounds like she was a wonderful person. My heart goes out to her family and friends. And to the poster who suggested that she was selfish, I hear that comment so often in the case of suicide and it makes me very angry that someone would think such a thing. Obviously, if an individual is in such a state as to even consider ending his/her life, then he/she is clearly not thinking rationally. A person who isn't in his/her rational state of mind isn't going to have the ability to contemplate if his/her behavior is selfish, etc.
Thanks for your comments, Sadie. You are right, a person who does this is NOT thinking rationally. Paul was such a kind person, and she showed me friendship at a time when I needed it so much. She was an attorney who helped me restart my life by representing me with no expectation of being paid (although I did pay her as soon as I was financially able). I wish I could tell her what she meant to me. The idea of her dying sad and alone just hurts. There will never be any judgement here. I have known a number of people who have killed themselves, and it is always sad and painful for those who are left behind. Thanks so much for your kind words - they have comforted me.
jeff hogue

Danville, KY

#26 Feb 5, 2013
I am saddened and shocked to know Dr Raines took her life. She helped me through my divorce years ago and also introduced me to the enneagram. Im sure she is deeply missed.
Gillian

Portales, NM

#27 Jun 9, 2013
Mee wrote:
<quoted text>We are all sorry you lost someone you cared about, we all have been there. I lost my mom 2 years ago, and it sucks. You have to get over it and move on, dwelling on the past only tears you down. Obviously she was a selfish person to take her own life and not care about how her death would effect the people who loved her. I understand being depressed, beleive me I grew up in harrodsburg but suicide is never the thing to do. Move on Gillian she aint coming back.
I just saw your remarks (haven't been on this site for a while). I think it is both cruel and judgemental for you to decide that Paula was selfish to take her own life. You don't know what was in her head, and I am sorry that her heart was broken that she felt that she had to end her life. I doubt that a selfish thought crept in; she was simply hurting so much that she couldn't go on.
Gillian

Portales, NM

#28 Jun 23, 2013
This shouldn't still break my heart, but it does. I have known a number of people - too many - who did this to themselves. If you ever think of it, please reach out; this is an act that leaves others heartbroken and confused. Still love you, Paula. Thanks for all you did; I will never forget you.
Gillian Andersen

Portales, NM

#31 Dec 29, 2015
Mee wrote:
<quoted text>We are all sorry you lost someone you cared about, we all have been there. I lost my mom 2 years ago, and it sucks. You have to get over it and move on, dwelling on the past only tears you down. Obviously she was a selfish person to take her own life and not care about how her death would effect the people who loved her. I understand being depressed, beleive me I grew up in harrodsburg but suicide is never the thing to do. Move on Gillian she aint coming back.
You should not assume that Paula was selfish. I knew her. She was not selfish.

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