Bullying can be a challenge for educators

Full story: Evening Sun 98
Parent Amy Adams of East Berlin speaks at Thursday night's Hanover town hall meeting on bullying in the schools. Full Story
tina heffner

United States

#65 May 28, 2011
The solution is not using violence in return for violence, as this only creates additional havoc . If there are enough parents and children within the Hanover district that are experiencing bullying issues that are willing to form a round table discussion which can lead to action please contact me at the YWCA of Hanover theffner@ywcahanover.org I'm willing to assist you and take a lead role.
tina heffner

United States

#66 May 28, 2011
I meant to say Hanover area not district.
Wondering

Astoria, NY

#67 May 28, 2011
Kids pick on kids all day long most of the time the boys that are friends pick on each other. Everyone watched the hangover and thought it was funny ?? Everyone gets picked on the kids that it bothers the most parents are not involved until they can sue and get money. The so called bullies are the ones who's parents are around and have always been around playing sports and doing things with there children. The kids that cry are the fat kids in the corner eating. With there fat. Parents if you font want to be picked on for being fat then loose weight. If it's the bullies parents fault then it's the cry babies fault also right?????
FED UP

East Berlin, PA

#68 May 28, 2011
RetiredT wrote:
<quoted text>Hmmm ok, you say teachers stand by and do nothing! Other than verbally telling the bully to stop/calling the office/writing up a referral/contacting the parents/what do you suggest. NO teacher can put their hands on another student.(in these days) Please what would you suggest???
Teachers DO stand by and do NOTHING and when I say nothing, I mean NOTHING! In our case more then one teacher has stood by without telling the bullies to stop, has not called the office, has not written them up, sent them to the office, etc....NOTHING! This behavior, verbal and pushing and shoving,taking swings has happened in the class room. We had to bring it to the attention of the principle ourselves. When we didn't get satisfactory results we called the police. END OF STORY.
FED UP

East Berlin, PA

#69 May 28, 2011
Wondering wrote:
Kids pick on kids all day long most of the time the boys that are friends pick on each other. Everyone watched the hangover and thought it was funny ?? Everyone gets picked on the kids that it bothers the most parents are not involved until they can sue and get money. The so called bullies are the ones who's parents are around and have always been around playing sports and doing things with there children. The kids that cry are the fat kids in the corner eating. With there fat. Parents if you font want to be picked on for being fat then loose weight. If it's the bullies parents fault then it's the cry babies fault also right?????
You have NO idea what you're talking about!
See

Hanover, PA

#70 May 28, 2011
Wondering wrote:
Kids pick on kids all day long most of the time the boys that are friends pick on each other. Everyone watched the hangover and thought it was funny ?? Everyone gets picked on the kids that it bothers the most parents are not involved until they can sue and get money. The so called bullies are the ones who's parents are around and have always been around playing sports and doing things with there children. The kids that cry are the fat kids in the corner eating. With there fat. Parents if you font want to be picked on for being fat then loose weight. If it's the bullies parents fault then it's the cry babies fault also right?????
Bullies BREED bullies! Thanks for clearing that up with your post of example
Sad

Hanover, PA

#71 May 28, 2011
FED UP wrote:
<quoted text>
Teachers DO stand by and do NOTHING and when I say nothing, I mean NOTHING! In our case more then one teacher has stood by without telling the bullies to stop, has not called the office, has not written them up, sent them to the office, etc....NOTHING! This behavior, verbal and pushing and shoving,taking swings has happened in the class room. We had to bring it to the attention of the principle ourselves. When we didn't get satisfactory results we called the police. END OF STORY.
I agree. I had 2 teachers who allowed the harassment to continue AFTER other students also reported it. I got ahold of the teachers and heard "I'll seperate them so they don't sit near eachother". I took it to the guidance dept and Principle and got no where ( it still continued) then I called the cops and pressed charges,resulting in a big ole fine for them!
Carlee

Naperville, IL

#72 May 28, 2011
Bullying is such a serious issue today in schools, on the bus, through texting, and on computers. Although teachers are put to blame often for not catching it soon enough, it should be understood that it is not really their fault. In order for bullying to be put under control, it is the job of multiple adults that interact with the child on a regular basis. Parents and teachers need to work together to fight bullying, along with pastors, bus drivers, or even a therapist. Whenever bullying is first sighted, it needs to be addressed directly to the student and to whoever is bullying as well.
Although the kid who shot himself in the classroom is an extreme, and heart-wrenching, example, students who are bullied are deeply affected by it for a lifetime. I am sad to see how this school district handles bullying. However, there are issues in every school district, and every household. The only thing to do is to step in as informed citizens, and change things. Nothing will get better by complaining at it. Instead, steps need to be made in the institution to change policies, and parents need to be more involved with their students' lives.
This is all being said as a psychology student, and as a student who used to be bullied. I was lucky enough to have a mother who deeply cared and made sure that I was psychologically sound. Other students are not as lucky, and they need all the help they can get from responsible adults in their lives.
Old Vet

Hanover, PA

#73 May 28, 2011
I pay close to $4000 a year in local school taxes and do not have a child in the district. But, I want every student to have the opportunity to learn without bullying or harassment. We cannot depend on parents to be the untimate answer as they are often the root of the problem or simply don't care. Administrators, staff and teachers must become part of the solution. It's an integral part of the educational process. If you can't handle that part of the job - get out of the profession! I hope anyone, be it a student, parent or whoever, takes it upon themselves to report inappropriate behavior no matter who the bully is...yes, even the star athlete or homecoming queen. And if administrators don't deal with the situation, let's make sure the school boards, law enforcement AND the media know about it!
Kevin

Gettysburg, PA

#74 May 28, 2011
Wondering wrote:
Kids pick on kids all day long most of the time the boys that are friends pick on each other. Everyone watched the hangover and thought it was funny ?? Everyone gets picked on the kids that it bothers the most parents are not involved until they can sue and get money. The so called bullies are the ones who's parents are around and have always been around playing sports and doing things with there children. The kids that cry are the fat kids in the corner eating. With there fat. Parents if you font want to be picked on for being fat then loose weight. If it's the bullies parents fault then it's the cry babies fault also right?????
Glad you're so in touch. Believe me I want nothing to do with my "friends" from school to this day. I am still unable to forgive those "friends". Graduation for me was like being released from a concentration camp.

For those of you thinking violence is the answer. It does get you a little relief from the physical pain of being injured for amusement, but in the long term having to be on the constantly on the defensive like your on a battlefield is not the answer. Keep in mind, all of you trying to defend children being bullied as a life lesson; you don't punch you neighbor when he blows grass clipping on your lawn, you don't get into a knock down drag out fight when someone takes your parking space. As an adult you don't solve your problems with your fists. One of the few teachers that I respected a great deal, told me that after a fight I ever got in during my senior year, the last one I might add.

As a formed bullied, seriously bullied child, the behavior is violence pure and simple. Defending this behavior is tantamount to defending rape, assault and other violent crimes. This is not acceptable behavior, and trying to defend it is sick.
Soooo

Greensboro, NC

#75 May 28, 2011
RetiredT wrote:
<quoted text> Hmmm so your solution is more violence??
DOn't mind ol' internal affairs. There is quiet tought he is off his meds agian.
Kevin

Gettysburg, PA

#76 May 28, 2011
A side note for the educators reading this blog. The folks who actually study this subject believe, and have supporting statistical evidence, that bulling is one of the largest single factors in high school dropout rates.

As a social worker, every child I worked with due to truancy displayed some form of school phobia as the result of poor social interactions.

My wife, who had zero academics problems dropped out due to bulling when she as able to legally sign her self out of school.

The bullying lesson has a great track record of success in helping "whinny nerds" overcome diversity let me tell you.

If not for my parents, and my own belief that dropping out would let my peers win, I might have left school too. I was temped to drop out many times believe me, but that paper was important to me. To this day I have still have this re-occurring nightmare that somehow I'm back in school, forced to return finish my education, to "earn" the right to keep my diploma from that organization.
Wondering

Hanover, PA

#77 May 28, 2011
I've never seen any gay bullies?Some kids play sports some pick flowers??guess That's why there's no dodgeball of football in school. I've seen private school Kids cursing at public school kids in sports even girls. My sons not a bully but he's never came home crying probaly cause I spend more time with him in a weak then these patents do in a year. Until it's time to sue someone. There's hazing in sports and in college guess that's illegal also. Maybe if you put your son in karate or boxing when there young instead of book club then they would not get picked on or grow up to be bullies but instead of creating self esteem and social skills your worried about who's on facebook and what your neibors are doing and who's doing what at work. So that you have something to gossip about on the phone every night. While your children sit in there room by thereself. Wonder why there not talking to you and your wondering why this had gone on so long and you had no idea??? The sane parents that never went to prom or spring break???
Wondering

Hanover, PA

#78 May 28, 2011
Kevin wrote:
<quoted text>
Glad you're so in touch. Believe me I want nothing to do with my "friends" from school to this day. I am still unable to forgive those "friends". Graduation for me was like being released from a concentration camp.
For those of you thinking violence is the answer. It does get you a little relief from the physical pain of being injured for amusement, but in the long term having to be on the constantly on the defensive like your on a battlefield is not the answer. Keep in mind, all of you trying to defend children being bullied as a life lesson; you don't punch you neighbor when he blows grass
clipping on your lawn, you don't get into a knock down drag out fight when someone takes your parking space. As an adult you don't solve your problems with your fists. One of the few teachers
that I respected a great deal, told me that after a fight I ever got in during my senior year, the last one I might add.
As a formed bullied, seriously bullied child, the behavior is violence pure and simple. Defending
this behavior is tantamount to defending rape, assault and other violent crimes. This is not acceptable behavior, and trying to defend it is sick.
Making fun of a kids hair cut is your comparison to rape and murder????I'm guessing you thank god everyday for Obama also???????I wonder what's wrong with this country?maybe it's the illegals that ate taking the time away from the teachers?my son can't play dodgeball but had to learn Spanish everyday ?I wonder if they teach English in Mexico in order to graduate???
Wondering

Astoria, NY

#79 May 28, 2011
Guess we will have to ban shows like full house,boy meets world, saved by the bell and family matters cause the actors on those shows who are friends and family pick on and crack jokes on each other and they should all be put in jail forever. God forbid if someone is different or had personality??I guess everyone on here had never said a joke or pointer at someones zipper they left down?or laught at someones car that was a piece of junk while you were in school or gave a teacher a nickname??I's that not bullying how did you make that person feel when they fell walking and you laughed??? Should you have gone to counseling for years cause you laughed when someone fell in the snow or got hit with a snowball?? How about the movie a Christmas story??let's burn every copy worldwide kids curse and het picked on that should never be seen in this day and age???What ever happened to trials and tribulations make us stronger??if your worried about your 7 year old getting a text that hurts his feelings then don't give a child a cell phone?what's next we ban braces ? How many kids het picked on because of braces and glasses and weight and hieght and freckles??do they all shoot up schools??no 99% have happy lives and there kids go though the same things..I'm not talking about trying to kill someone or beating a kid up 10 on 1 that's wrong and everyone that's standing there should step in and help. I'm talking about teasing it happins in preschool though college. I'm guessing most married people on here pick on each others flaws everyday???????
Kevin

Gettysburg, PA

#80 May 28, 2011
Insult the masculinity and sexual identity of children who are being physically assaulted; nice.
By the way I "did" learn to hurt people thanks to such life lessons. I also learned to hide my emotions and submerge the pain and guilt from being a victim; very important skills/emotional barriers which take years to bring down. The whole point I'm trying to make is why should anyone have to. The purpose of school is to learn to read and write and a few other important skills to become productive citizens. The inmates don't run the asylum.
From personal experience, when several kids get up and physically harass you while the teachers watches with most of the class laughing; there is no fighting back. When this occurs on a daily basis and the few friends you have stop talking to you, or worse, join in; there is no fighting back. What is the lesson? What level of violence stops that? The system is broken at that point.
Having worked with families for the better part of a decade, this vulnerability hasn't changed at all. Partly this is because bullying is considered the victims fault. They are a "fag" or "wimp" or "nerd". If everyone was on the football team there would be no problems, right? I witnessed, and fought as hard as I could, when a Pennsylvania school district used their loophole to get rid of a bullied student and wipe their hands of her. I hope, I pray that one day they are hit with a multimillion dollar lawsuit that shuts them down; but that's a pipe dream.
I never played football, but I was an Eagle Scout and I have been a soldier. I have also gotten a tear in my eye the first time I held my newborn daughter, and she will not experience what I have been through or witnessed as an advocate for others.
Most of the negative comments being tossed around on this blog are to the effect of, "my friends and I harassed each other all the time". The kid in this article what,received a concussion and was basically, among other things mugged on a repeated basis? If anyone's friend ever gave them a concussion on purpose there is something seriously wrong with the definition of friend.
These are children are under the care of adults who are paid good money (not touching that one) to educate and keep them secure and safe. I never felt either for the six years I attended. I was in either "fight or flight mode" the entire time. I started out the latter and moved to the former.
From personal experience you can't throw throw enough punches to make the pain go away. To this day there are a few I'd love to test that theory on, but it won't change what happened. In my life I've been through different phases, I plead the serenity prayer, sometimes daily. I try to turn the other cheek and pray for strength. Sometimes I'm as they say "locked and loaded". There are times that I think I can forgive and forget. Articles like this, and the options expressed bring out all of the emotions like what I experienced happened yesterday. Somehow I'm sure I'm not the only one either.
The only thing I ask, the only thing I ever asked, was to be left alone. And that is not, never was, and probably never will be possible.
Bullying is not about teaching a lesson, it's not an educational tool for learning social skills. Don't delude yourself, it is a form of violence and oppression.
Kevin

Gettysburg, PA

#82 May 28, 2011
Sorry I didn't mean to double post that.
Kevin

Gettysburg, PA

#83 May 28, 2011
I didn't laugh when I feel because people like you were too busy shoving me on the ground or laughing.

When I got the strength to fight back I didn't pick on others. I was just happy that no one was laying their hands on me. The last fight I ever got into in high school was in the process of taking up for another, younger student who was being picked on.

My brothers and I picked on one another all of the time, however we never gave each other concussions like the "friends" of the young man in this article.

And saved by the bell should be banned on principle, the show was terrible. However, since it is a fantasy world that doesn't exist, and I can turn the channel, I'm willing to cut it some. In the real world you can't turn the channel.

This issue has little to do with haircuts.
Sad

Hanover, PA

#84 May 29, 2011
Wondering wrote:
Guess we will have to ban shows like full house,boy meets world, saved by the bell and family matters cause the actors on those shows who are friends and family pick on and crack jokes on each other and they should all be put in jail forever. God forbid if someone is different or had personality??I guess everyone on here had never said a joke or pointer at someones zipper they left down?or laught at someones car that was a piece of junk while you were in school or gave a teacher a nickname??I's that not bullying how did you make that person feel when they fell walking and you laughed??? Should you have gone to counseling for years cause you laughed when someone fell in the snow or got hit with a snowball?? How about the movie a Christmas story??let's burn every copy worldwide kids curse and het picked on that should never be seen in this day and age???What ever happened to trials and tribulations make us stronger??if your worried about your 7 year old getting a text that hurts his feelings then don't give a child a cell phone?what's next we ban braces ? How many kids het picked on because of braces and glasses and weight and hieght and freckles??do they all shoot up schools??no 99% have happy lives and there kids go though the same things..I'm not talking about trying to kill someone or beating a kid up 10 on 1 that's wrong and everyone that's standing there should step in and help. I'm talking about teasing it happins in preschool though college. I'm guessing most married people on here pick on each others flaws everyday???????
Tell this to the parents of these kids. THIS is what we are trying to prevent
*****WARNING MIGHT BE TO GRAPHIC FOR SOME PEOPLE*****
&fe ature=related
FED UP

East Berlin, PA

#85 May 29, 2011
Old Vet wrote:
I pay close to $4000 a year in local school taxes and do not have a child in the district. But, I want every student to have the opportunity to learn without bullying or harassment. We cannot depend on parents to be the untimate answer as they are often the root of the problem or simply don't care. Administrators, staff and teachers must become part of the solution. It's an integral part of the educational process. If you can't handle that part of the job - get out of the profession! I hope anyone, be it a student, parent or whoever, takes it upon themselves to report inappropriate behavior no matter who the bully is...yes, even the star athlete or homecoming queen. And if administrators don't deal with the situation, let's make sure the school boards, law enforcement AND the media know about it!
What you're saying needs to be done is exactly what we did in our school district and we got results.

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