Bullying can be a challenge for educators

Full story: Evening Sun

Parent Amy Adams of East Berlin speaks at Thursday night's Hanover town hall meeting on bullying in the schools.
Comments
41 - 60 of 98 Comments Last updated May 24, 2012
Sad

Hanover, PA

#42 May 27, 2011
I agree with you Kevin. Although I also work in the mental health field, I also am powerless and held hostage. Hostage out of fear of if my daughter will be able to recover from the hurt,tears,fear,torment,self esteem issues,trust,and self respect. We do everything together but MOM isn't that friend that wants to talk about boys and gossip like teens do lol.

I wish a "mature" adult who used to be a bully would give us insight on why they were one. Is it power,control or a abusive family backround from childhood? And now as a adult to they have remorse? Legal problems? Do drugs? Or did they turn their life around? Maybe I guess I feel we all need answers and/or maybe I should not wonder as for "why"?
AMAZED

Newburg, PA

#44 May 27, 2011
No one else cares to name the school districts that proclaim they have anti bullying programs yet the set back on their laurels and do nothing ?
proud grandmother

Hanover, PA

#45 May 27, 2011
AMAZED wrote:
Bermudian Springs School District is a joke when it comes to enforcing their policy on bullying. There have been many kids leave the district for other schools and cyber schools because of the lack or ability of the administrators and teachers.
The school and administrators should be investigated and held for criminal prosecution. They are not serious on the policy they say they have. They are a bunch of talking heads and no action for the welfare of the kids being bullied.
I saw that there during last seasons football games. Their students walked around calling the opposing fans names with attitudes like "I dare to you say something back"
Kevin

Hyattsville, MD

#46 May 27, 2011
I don't need sued... bear in mind it's pretty universal. Usually zero tollerance anti-bully policys are only brought out when a victim child fights back; and then everyone is rushing to get involved.
Real Sad

United States

#47 May 27, 2011
Years ago, my son was bullied to the extent he was getting death threats. The principal told me no one would hurt him. I sent him to a different school, he was already hurt by the action of the kids. My oldest daughter asked about a party after a prom that everyone was going to and she was told, you're not invited. My youngest daughter was bullied by a guy via IM and I had to go to the police. Their response, yeah, he's a bad kid. He got some girls together to beat her up after school. We called the police. My kids are successful adults now, not living there. I'll never forget the hurt in their eyes and their tears. My youngest had a birthday party and everyone but one in the class thought it would be fun : not to show up! Kids are cruel but I blame their upbring on it. My heart breaks when I think of what my own kids went through in that tow=n. It has got to stop!
Real Sad

United States

#48 May 27, 2011
Sad wrote:
I agree with you Kevin. Although I also work in the mental health field, I also am powerless and held hostage. Hostage out of fear of if my daughter will be able to recover from the hurt,tears,fear,torment,self esteem issues,trust,and self respect. We do everything together but MOM isn't that friend that wants to talk about boys and gossip like teens do lol.
I wish a "mature" adult who used to be a bully would give us insight on why they were one. Is it power,control or a abusive family backround from childhood? And now as a adult to they have remorse? Legal problems? Do drugs? Or did they turn their life around? Maybe I guess I feel we all need answers and/or maybe I should not wonder as for "why"?
I feel your pain.....all you can do is let her know how much you love her and you are behind her.
Sad

Hanover, PA

#49 May 27, 2011
Real Sad wrote:
<quoted text>
I feel your pain.....all you can do is let her know how much you love her and you are behind her.
Thank you.You know whats scary? I see how these kids are and from I gather from other people and from what I have seen, their parents are not much different....They are a product of their enviroment. I keep telling my daughter the best "revenge" that you can do to a bully is -----Succeeding in life, another words just keep pushing forward in a promising future
FED UP

East Berlin, PA

#51 May 27, 2011
Freedom Rider wrote:
<quoted text>I have been hit, pushed, yelled at. You name it, it's been done. I even had my leg broken playing soccer in a match in college. But no I did not sue the guy who pushed me. I guess I am on the wrong page with this. My kids are taught to be able to take whatever they dishout. Problem solved. And if it gets out of hand I get involved. That is what parenting is about. Not poo pooing and being afraid to step on toes.
Why don't you shut up! No one's talking about poo pooing! We're talking about protecting our kids. NO ONE has a right to put their hands on anyone else. The schools are wrong for not addressing the problem, that's all anyone is saying. What's wrong with you?
MJ57Jam

Honey Grove, PA

#52 May 27, 2011
The public schools are not going to protect kids from relentless bullying. Anti-bullying programs are just lip service to make everyone feel like something is being done. If you care to keep your kid from being bullied, harrassed, abused......keep them out of the public schools & even out of some of the larger private schools.
Sad

Hanover, PA

#53 May 27, 2011
MJ57Jam wrote:
The public schools are not going to protect kids from relentless bullying. Anti-bullying programs are just lip service to make everyone feel like something is being done. If you care to keep your kid from being bullied, harrassed, abused......keep them out of the public schools & even out of some of the larger private schools.
Ok I get it, but explain to all of us why we need to surrogate our behave kids because other kids don't know how to act? I get your point but shouldn't the bullies be pulled away from the well behaved kids and not the other way around? I'm not arguing with you not trying to start a fight,but I dont see why the good kids needs to be displaced. Bullies need to be expelled or transferred out of the school.
MJ57Jam

Honey Grove, PA

#54 May 27, 2011
Sad wrote:
<quoted text>
Ok I get it, but explain to all of us why we need to surrogate our behave kids because other kids don't know how to act? I get your point but shouldn't the bullies be pulled away from the well behaved kids and not the other way around? I'm not arguing with you not trying to start a fight,but I dont see why the good kids needs to be displaced. Bullies need to be expelled or transferred out of the school.
You are absolutely right. The bullies should not be tolerated. However, if you wait for the schools to do something, your kid will be ready to start college before you see any action....if ever. I gave up hoping a long time ago. If you have a kid in school now or if they're just about ready to start school, you may as well explore all the other options for getting an education. Kids don't have forever to wait for the schools to get their act together.
Sad

Hanover, PA

#55 May 27, 2011
MJ57Jam wrote:
<quoted text>
You are absolutely right. The bullies should not be tolerated. However, if you wait for the schools to do something, your kid will be ready to start college before you see any action....if ever. I gave up hoping a long time ago. If you have a kid in school now or if they're just about ready to start school, you may as well explore all the other options for getting an education. Kids don't have forever to wait for the schools to get their act together.
I agree. I see your points and they are good points.
wth

Hanover, PA

#56 May 27, 2011
August West wrote:
I love this useless piece of advice that only an over-degreed educator with no common sense can provide:
"Still, Smith said, parents need to also be involved in everything from talks about school to computer monitoring at home, in order to help prevent bullying."
Guess what Ms. Smith, the children who are bullying have little to no parental involvement, never have and never will. THAT is what is at the heart of the matter! Telling parents who complain that their child is being bullied to be more involved is useless... they ARE already involved! That's why their children are on the wrong end of the bullying debacle! This Mrs. Adams needs to press charges against the b@stard(s) that pushed her son down the steps and/or the administration if negligence can be proven against it. As for Freedom Rider, you're a complete ****. Telling an adolescent, tween, or teen to suck it up is a great strategy. I am glad you are not a child counselor. Remember that their psyches, emotions, are still in development. They cannot rationalize bullying like an adult. So quit with your tough guy crap and dime store psychology lesson, because you are only proving your idiocy.
my neice was bullied at hanover middle school and the school said will look into it nothing was ever done when she finely stood up to the bully my neice got suspended hanover dont give a rats ass about kids who are being bullied
Internal Affairs

Newville, PA

#58 May 27, 2011
In my day in the 70's we had cops in the schools and we'd beat them up if they got involved with our problems .all this Bullying crap was started by Soccer mom's who most likely attended a Catholic School. Stand up and beat the crap out of the biggest one of the bunch. do something other then crying. Please--no more stories of this non-sense or I'll be forced to track down lame and whinny parents to kick their asses until they teach their kids to go out and kick ass.
Internal Affairs

Newville, PA

#59 May 27, 2011
MJ57Jam wrote:
<quoted text>
You are absolutely right. The bullies should not be tolerated. However, if you wait for the schools to do something, your kid will be ready to start college before you see any action....if ever. I gave up hoping a long time ago. If you have a kid in school now or if they're just about ready to start school, you may as well explore all the other options for getting an education. Kids don't have forever to wait for the schools to get their act together.
You panzy..teach them the value of a good right croass and upper cut from the left jab.
RetiredT

East Berlin, PA

#60 May 28, 2011
I would like to suggest the PBIS program/Positive Behavior Interventions and Support. I taught in a small inner city school district and once the entire administration/ staff/parents/students got on board it worked quite well. I dont know about Pa., but in NY all districts must have a Character Ed. program in place which also addresses bullying etc.. Just wondering if any parents of the bullies were at this meeting?? As far as the Adams go that were at this meeting, if their son is physically harmed in any way, an extreme step to take would be going to the police and filing charges!! Sad that for some students, it's a war zone and they are the targets!!
RetiredT

East Berlin, PA

#61 May 28, 2011
proud grandmother wrote:
<quoted text>
I saw that there during last seasons football games. Their students walked around calling the opposing fans names with attitudes like "I dare to you say something back"
What is your solution to the problem??
What would your action plan be for the district??
RetiredT

East Berlin, PA

#62 May 28, 2011
Internal Affairs wrote:
<quoted text>You panzy..teach them the value of a good right croass and upper cut from the left jab.
Hmmm so your solution is more violence??
RetiredT

East Berlin, PA

#63 May 28, 2011
FED UP wrote:
<quoted text>
Good for you! That's what it's going to take to get the attention of the administrators.
Hmmm ok, you say teachers stand by and do nothing! Other than verbally telling the bully to stop/calling the office/writing up a referral/contacting the parents/what do you suggest. NO teacher can put their hands on another student.(in these days) Please what would you suggest???
RetiredT

East Berlin, PA

#64 May 28, 2011
FED UP wrote:
It's true, the policies the schools have are a joke, that is, they don't enforce them! And if the bully is one of the many athletes who seem to think they can do what ever they want, forget it the school does nothing. They should be kicked off the team...zero tolerance but that's not how it works.
Next time your child is bullied, have them call you from school then you call the police! Stop wasting your time with the school. Don't wait until they are home, do it immediately and get yourself to the school to demand everyone is informed of the problem. All parents, teachers and coaches if applicable, EVERYONE! Make sure everyone involved understands you are not going to tolerate less then a safe environment for your child!
My grandson was bullied and that's exactly what his parents did, it made a big difference on how the 4 kids were punished. They were all baseball players for the high school, the coach got involved and it STOPPED! It's very different when the police are involved and when they understand you're not going away until they take care of the problem.
In the case of my Grandson, even the teacher stood by an allowed the hands on abuse and did nothing.
Great solution for the atheletes that are bullies. We had a High School basketball player looking for a scholarship to a Division One college. He was suspended from 5 games one being when the scouts were coming....he learned his lesson!!He also was given community service working with special needs children.The key here, the parents were on board!! No excuses/no blame game!!

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