Meddling Mother-in-laws

Meddling Mother-in-laws

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wondering

Grundy, VA

#1 Nov 27, 2010
Can I have some advice on how to deal with a meddling mother-in law? Unfortunetly, I have lived next to her for years. It doesn't matter what I do or don't do it is always a war zone. She smart mouths me and says things out of line. When I have had enough, I don't speak to her or visit. When this happens, then she whines and cries,begging for forgiveness. After some time passes and I will get back on speaking terms with her, she does it all over again. It's like a skipping record.
i am so fed up and sick of her that I don't know what to do. This woman is even jealous and gets mad when I talk to my own mother!! HELP!!!
mother in law

Grundy, VA

#2 Nov 27, 2010
Move for the sake of your family relationships.
wondering

Grundy, VA

#3 Nov 27, 2010
I wish it was that simple. We are on a piece of ajoining property that the mortage is almost paid off. And it has been deeded to my husband,so he refuses to move anywhere.
maw in law

Grundy, VA

#4 Nov 27, 2010
sounds like she might be a bit touched in the head.try ignoring her when she is mean to you.the bible says for lack of wood the fire goeth out.in other words dont make bugging you fun for her and she might stop.
wondering

Grundy, VA

#5 Nov 27, 2010
yes, she is very off in the head!! She stands and watches out the window all the time. If my husband leaves a light on at night in his garage she will stay awake all night to watch and try to see what is going on!! It seems the more I ignore her, the more she will rant and rave like a madwoman to my husband that I won't talk to her. He tells her the truth of how she acts, but she just makes up excuses and lies about what she does!!
advice

Grundy, VA

#6 Nov 27, 2010
I went through this for 30 years. This woman is a bully. She will continue to bully you until your husband takes a stand and like most sons, he won't. Your husband has to understand what you are going through and tell his mother to back off.

She will continue to bully you because she has all the power and no one will stand up to her. Sorry.
KeKe

Birmingham, AL

#7 Nov 27, 2010
advice wrote:
I went through this for 30 years. This woman is a bully. She will continue to bully you until your husband takes a stand and like most sons, he won't. Your husband has to understand what you are going through and tell his mother to back off.
She will continue to bully you because she has all the power and no one will stand up to her. Sorry.
Wrong on who has the power...you have the power...If she will not listen to your husband, then you can not get her to listen or change....I have been in this situation and all you can do is just ignore as much as you can when you HAVE to be around her and then build a life and friends away from here. She can not control YOU and your thoughts if you do not allow it and she can not make you feel badly if you do not choose to feel badly. She has no life of her own and she is trying to take over yours. Take each day and enjoy your life and stay away from her as much as possible. It will not fix the situation, but you will feel better. Somethings you can not fix...my fix was moving eight hours away and finally she died...there is hope....
wondering

Grundy, VA

#8 Nov 27, 2010
My husband has put her in her place several different times, but it hasn't helped any. He and his mother will stay mad at each other for a few days,and then it is always the same thing over and over, with her acting like I am the enemy and have brought on all of this trouble and he and she will be friends again!! Then she gets out and talks about me to anyone who will believe her lies!! She has these people thinking that I am the horriblest thing that ever lived!1 But there are quite a few people who know that she is a liar and manipulater and won't give her the time of day!!
Unhappy

South Africa

#9 Jun 6, 2011
I have been married over 25 years. But my inlaws are finally getting to me now.....Im on the verge of walking out. I have clearly stated to my husband why im so unhappy. He says Im jsut petty and pathetic, Maybe I am... Please someone tell me what to do. We live on the same property as my in laws. The problem is im totally invisable. Everything gets discussed with them....seldom with me. Unfortunatly Im a stubborn person. When we got married, He always had something to say about the meals...they were not like his moms. When I decided to make something, when I get home, supper has been made and guess its what his mother is having. She repremands my nanny, If she wants to borrow something out my kitchen she asks my musband...An example I was in the kitchen with my daughter, my fatherinlaw came in and greeted and then aas my daughter if her may borrow her fathers tray out of the pantry.???? Hello its my panty. Another accassin mother in came asked for son, she wanted his keys to the his deep freeze to pur her meat in....I told her that hes was not home and she would have to ask him when he gets home...."I had my keys for the deep freeze" ...One of my children left a fork and knife in ther house, my father inlaw braught it back, he walked right past me in the kitchen and said to my husband " here is YOUR knife and folk" as if I was never there...
What must I do:?
playing games

Grundy, VA

#10 Jun 6, 2011
they act like your dead ,, treat them dead too,, pretend right back,, see how they feel,, and apparently,, their actions scream your husband tells them what you say,, cause they wouldnt act strange if someone didnt tell them how you feel about some things..find a new confidant to talk with..they are trying to prentend you have no9 importance their by this talk his this and his that and even asking a child your business..i act so damn happy they would get tired and stay home. find some things your really interested in and enjoy them .. and talk to other kind poeple on here just for fun.. if they want to pretend you dont exist,, then let them,, just more free time for you and the things you can enjoy,,
Paula

Capon Bridge, WV

#11 Jun 6, 2011
Well it does not have to be like this. I have one son, and he is married too. I try to treat my daughter-in-law as I would treat a daughter. Is she perfect? No, But I know I am not either. I have never been jealous of her, I am glad my son loves his wife. My son and I are very close, I want the best for them both. There needs to be 3 in every marriage. The husband, The wife, but, most of all GOD! It just works out better that way. God bless you all. I do feel for those going through this.
WhatIdid

Langley, KY

#12 Jun 6, 2011
just cut them out of your life, thats what I have done My inlaws are DRAMA Lies and my MIL is dieing everyother week, So stand up hold your ground tell your husband thats it no more being treated like this. I will not have any dealings with them u can I am not. If he gets mad let him tell him its this way or no way.
washerwoman

Grundy, VA

#13 Jun 8, 2011
why dont they go live with or near their daughters that they do like and quit living with or near daughterin laws and sons trying to always breaking up marriages. most stories i hear are this and they like their daughters and hate their sons wife. it makes no sense . go be with the people you do like to be around everyday and leave the ones you dont like alone. and leave their marriages alone.
peaches

Grundy, VA

#14 Jun 8, 2011
i can relate as a sisterinlaw- my mom spends a large amount of time with me (single) a my married sister- doing family things and having fun- but i asked her after she and pop got divorced to live with me since we spend so much time together-- we three are close as sisters and mom best friends--but she moves in with my brother and his wife to live and their kids-- i could never understand and i asked several times for her to live with me-- to be honest, i love mom, but i think she does it to annoy my brothers wife and to cause problems sometimes, i think she is jealous--she doesn't really like my sisterinlaw, and she has always be kind to us and tried to be friendly and helpful-- but mom still has a jealous streak or whatever you would call it, i try to talk with her sometimes but she denies it and refuses to talk about it , but sometimes she is smug when she manages to cause a problem and make them argue or hurt my sisterinlaw someway or try to take over when she is there-- it really is weird, she doesn't do this at all to my married sister( but her marriage isn't to good anyway most of the time--to be honest it does get weird when mom is jeoulous and wants to live where she is not happy and not live with me where she could be happy, only happy if she make my brothers wife unhappy and the girl has only be kind and took this nonsense from mom because she loves my brother. we have never managed to get mom to talk about it to resolve it, or just plain knock it off, me or my sister, and my brother cannot get her to understand she lives there not as a wife or owner she is his mom, she needs to be good to his wife, not do things to pick on her-- mom won't have it if we try to include my sisterinlaw she gets mad if we do go out for fun, but wants only us three-- but she expects my sisterinlaw to put up with spite when she dishes it out at home to her. i feel bad for all of them , i love them all, but i cannot get anyone especially mom to see sense, so i am asking any motherinlaws who do this spite stuff deliberately, please stop before it hurts everyone so bad and drives them away. it is hard to see mom be so loving to me as sis and so mean to my sisterinlaw who has showed her repect. please stop hurting your childrens spouses and make friends before they kick you out or cut you off from grandkids or what ever seems right -- you are hurting others all because they love someone you love too and that is not a crime. i wish i could get my own mom to listen, believe me i really do.
wondering

Grundy, VA

#15 Jun 9, 2011
Girls, I know how you feel.It's been several months since I posted this topic. Nothing here on my end has changed,with how my mother-in-law continues to act. I have put up with this crap for almost 18 years. It has been almost a year,that I have quit visiting her and haven't talked to her a handful of times on the phone. She is very sickly and isn't able to come to our house which is on the other end of the property,which is good for me and my sanity! But, she still isn't satisfied with anything. She practically argues with my husband on a daily basis of how lonely she is or how I or our children won't come to see her. She will ask him,what did I do wrong or why won't I or our teenage children come out to talk to her? I'll tell you my opinion,nobody's that dumb to act like they don't know what they have done to you or your children!!!I do not forbid my children from visiting her,but they won't go around her because she is so mean!!The poor kids can't even go up and down the hill to catch the bus,that she isn't on the porch to have to yell and demand that they acknowledge her standing there!! People like this never change, but if you can distance yourself and your life from them,it does help!! Good Luck to everyone going through this!!
dumpster

Grundy, VA

#16 Jun 11, 2011
hi ,how about fromthe soninlaw side of things, i know most of you ladies got a reason for being upset. As a soninlaw who wife's mom lives here and itry for ten years to get along. She can make you feel like a outsider in your own home. no matter how much peasce you try to keep at home. This momma chicken rules the roost here and everyone around. I don't think i have seen a summer in ten years i haven't been overrun by her family and dozens of inlaws and a holiday in winter time overrun by dozens of inlaws. I would like just one year me and my family and kids. But she gets all hyper on me if i say anything and wifey spends the day talking me around to her ideas. The woman counld go spend time at these peoples homes in summer and winterholiddays. SHe has nojob or kids or respondsibliities at all, she free as a bird.Me and my wife provide everything for her. She is not married any more and said she never would again. She and her oldman split up years ago. and she made her kids her whole life and just wont share them with who their married too. i really dont mind helping provide for her or her being here if my wife is happy aboutit. I can put up with a lot because she did raise a good woman in my wife and iam grateful so i keep peace.. BUT do you ladies think after ten years of summer winter inlaws up to my eyeballs and never a break in this. Is asking for one year no family plainning their lives around my home for just one year like a holdiay inn or somehting , is it asking too much, or what. I would like a summer for my family and a winter holiday for my family, i mean lieterallly its every year and twice a years for onand off allsummer and winter holdiays til new years is here and they go home. it does get tiring cause if work a job that makes me tires alot. So if i stand my ground this summer causes shes already planning her stuff up for everyone. and i refuse and spend time with just my wife and three kids and i cause some problems, am i right or am i just asking for mommy trouble i won't be able to handle. Thanks ladies.
kate

Port Republic, VA

#17 Jun 11, 2011
Marriage I believe is between one man and one woman. Outside forces can destroy that union, let it be family, friends, work, lies, and so on. My one year old marriage is in big trouble because of jealous adult children. I have already obtained an attorney, I've had enough... Good luck in your marriage. I love my husband, but I can't continue.
to late now

Grundy, VA

#18 Jun 11, 2011
I had a mother f...er in my life too she was the devil's witch she kept me and my husband apart for years by spreading rumors and getting in the way of our business my husband passed away recently and i wish so many times that i hadn't let her take over and cause so many problems i know that we both were at fault for letting her get her way i guess we felt she was going win anyhow so there was no use fighting anymore but don't let your mother in law do the same thing-fight it before it is too late
Peace

Chesterfield, MO

#19 Jun 11, 2011
I wish everyone peace in their life
Fortunate

Chesterfield, MO

#20 Jun 12, 2011
I feel so lucky not to had this issue

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