if only

Dexter, MO

#1 Jul 15, 2012
Yrs. ago I loved a man who was terribly unhappily married. As was I. We promised when our children were grown we would re-unite. for 9 yrs. we waited. He was in a bad wreck in Ga. that paralyzed him from the neck down. His x-wife died the same night in Tenn. Our children are grown when this happens. It has been 5 yrs. now. I have gone to visit the love of my past. It never happened for us after 9 yrs. of waiting. We never cheated but our hearts were in love, but before the accident he got mad at me for dating someone as a friend, then he would dodge me and not speak, after the accident I paid to have him transferred back home and he couldn't dodge me and I wondered if he still would if he could. Now I keep dreaming of him, he looks in my home he is walking and he smiles, then another dream he is walking and talking but he can't understand me. I feel like he is haunting me and he is still alive. Our love was so strong, our waiting so long and then the accident. It was like it was never meant to be. But he went word that he still loved me and when I visited him at the hospital he wanted me to visit. But I can't I love his children but they are so messed up on drugs and he always financially supported them, but I can't get involved for his kids. They love me so much as I do them, but they are such a mess and damn it, he is paralyzed and my dreams are driving me crazy. I love him, but I know now it will never be, If only. Why does he haunt me in my dreams, I haven't thought of him at all in about 6 mths. Can someone help?
lindsay wolfe

Gulfport, MS

#2 Jul 18, 2012

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